


Earth 2 Comes to Earth 1

by SecondFromTheRight



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s02e13 Welcome to Earth-2, Episode: s02e14 Escape from Earth-2, F/M, Post-Episode: s02e14 Escape from Earth-2, mixed POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 57,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecondFromTheRight/pseuds/SecondFromTheRight
Summary: What if Earth 2 Barry and Iris hadn't had family they could stay with?“I sort of wish we had some way to warn the others there’s some doppelgangers coming their way.” Cisco said stretching out the word 'doppelganger' like he'd been doing their whole Earth 2 trip, and pulling Barry’s attention away from the married couple. “Iris’ face should be…” he trailed off as Barry glared at him. “Uh, very happy?”“What does that mean?” Earth 2 Iris butted in, frowning at them suspiciously.





	1. Barry POV

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first multi-chapter and my first multi-character story for The Flash, so I'm kind of nervous about that. But it's been fun to do so far.
> 
> Two apologises to make. The formatting - it's going to alternate between both Barry and Iris' POV, so I'm planning on making a new chapter for each switch of POV, but I think it will mean some chapters will be quite short.
> 
> The other thing is Cisco. I can't write Cisco well. I do not know enough pop culture references to do him justice, I'm afraid.
> 
> Oh, and there's most likely not going to be much of any real plot to this. And I don't think it will be that long. It's pretty much just an indulgence of certain character interactions, but I hope it's still enjoyable to read!

“You guys need to get out of Central City, alright.” Barry told his and Iris’ Earth 2 doppelgangers as he approached them. “Any place you think you’ll be safe from Zoom.”

“Yeah.” Earth 2 Iris said with a nod, clearly trying to think of somewhere appropriate.

“Uhm, we can…” his own counterpart added. The married couple turned to look at each other, a stumped Barry Allen looking to his wife for an answer. Barry made a choice.

“You’re coming with us. At least for now.” He told them.

“Allen!” Wells chastised from behind. But he hadn’t listened to any of Earth 2 Wells’ opinions about the Wests of this Earth and he wasn’t going to now. He couldn’t.

“What? I can’t just leave them!” he told the man. “They helped me, Dr. Wells. They helped us. And Zoom will make them pay for it. You know he will. I can’t let that happen.” He said determined.

“And the fact that we’re closing all the breaches?” the man replied bluntly.

“We’ll figure something out. I have to come back somehow for the man in that cell anyway.” Barry assured. “At least they’ll be safe from Zoom on Earth 1. We have to. They helped save Jessie.” He implored. If anything could get through to this Harrison Wells, it was the safety of his daughter.

Wells still looked disapproving and Cisco wasn’t any help, staying silent and letting them have it out. Finally Wells conceded. “Hurry up.” He ordered them.

Barry nodded. “Come on,” he said, turning to the other Barry and Iris.

“Oh, but I haven’t even been able to pack or anything…” he trailed off looking around as Barry, Cisco and Harry all stared at him. “Right. Now’s good.” He gave him. Iris smiled softly up at him and that seemed to fix it, Earth 2 Barry looking confident again. Was that how he looked when his Iris smiled at him?

“You may not have been struck by lightning over here like I was but today, you risked your life to save someone you didn’t even know. That’s a hero, Barry.” He told his other self. He really couldn’t have done it without him. And it had been reaffirming for himself. A Barry Allen without powers had been a hero, hadn’t given up. 

“Thank you both.” He looked at each of them in turn, briefly over Iris and instead focusing on his own face staring back up him. Looking at this Iris, this Iris West Allen, wasn’t easy. Especially when she was looking at his doppelganger like she couldn’t love him more, like she couldn’t have been prouder of him.

“I sort of wish we had some way to warn the others there’s some doppelgangers coming their way.” Cisco said, stretching out the word 'doppelganger' like he'd been doing their whole Earth 2 trip, and pulling Barry’s attention away from the married couple. “Iris’ face should be…” he trailed off as Barry glared at him. “Uh, very happy?”

“What does that mean?” Earth 2 Iris butted in, frowning at them suspiciously.

“Nothing. Ignore him.” He quickly dismissed. How was he supposed to explain this? “I mean, I have an Iris – we – we have an…Iris, is all.”

“Right.” She said, still looking them over. She screamed 'detective' in that moment, not trusting a single one of them and clearly knowing there was things left unsaid. Then she showed how Iris alike she was, not saying a word of her suspicions and instead letting the peace stand, whilst still being aware of everything. But then his doppelganger showed the Barry Allen of him.

“You’re not married, are you?” Earth 2 Barry asked as he stared at him, ignoring the feel of the room and putting his foot in it, looking at him like he’d just worked out an equation that didn’t make sense, that he couldn’t understand and that he didn’t like.

“We’re not together.” Barry confirmed awkwardly, avoiding everybody’s eyes. He still managed to catch his counterpart’s look of disbelief.

“Children, are we quite ready? Zoom is on his way to kill us!” Harry scolded them all.

“Dad,” Jessie tried.

“Dr. Wells, I wonder if you might benefit from some stress relief. I myself find speed reading your own published research to be very calming when I’m having a difficult day.” Earth 2 Barry said sincerely.

“Move.” Harry demanded after a beat of staring at them. Barry noticed his double swallowing nervously at that stare. He remembered that feeling with original Wells.

They all grouped together. The others went through with Cisco, leaving him and Earth 2 Dr. Wells. Zoom was suddenly there, holding Wells up in the air like a ragdoll, like he’d done with Barry before. They managed to get away, Harry using distraction that allowed Barry to grab Harry and speed through the breach.

He heard a collection of voices all at once when they came through the Earth 1 side.

“Oh my god.” was Iris. His Iris.

“Dad.” And “Joseph” were echoed together. The other Barry and Iris, a team in every situation it seemed.

“Baby girl?” was whispered by Joe. Oh god, Joe. Joe West, alive Joe West. Alive Joe West who didn’t hate him.

He heard Earth 2 Iris sob and saw his Earth 2 version quickly take his wife in his arms.

Barry’s attention was on his own Iris who stood with wide eyes staring at them. He yelled at Jay to close to the breach, Caitlin greeted him and then he made his way over to Iris, trying to get her attention, trying to explain. What he was going to say about everything, he had no clue.

Then Jay cried out, making him turn around, the eyes of everyone in the room also turning towards the breach as Zoom’s hand punched a hole through Jay’s chest and dragged his body back through the breach with him. He could hear Caitlin screaming, Joe and Harry getting their respective guns out – Earth 2 Iris too. But he couldn’t do anything, none of them could. He wasn’t fast enough.

\----------

They’d all moved to other areas of STAR Labs. Most of them in the cortex. It had been about an hour since Zoom had killed Jay right in front of them all. Some of the group had scattered throughout the building. He wasn’t sure where Earth 2 Iris was but he’d seen she and his Earth 2 counterpart go off somewhere, with only his doppelganger coming back to the cortex. Joe had gone back to CCPD. Jessie and her dad were in a work room.

Cisco was sitting with Caitlin in the medical bay, trying to comfort her. Barry was thinking about whether they’d be able to have a funeral for Jay or not. There was no body, and he wasn’t from this Earth. How do you bury someone without their body? Would it just be more upsetting for Caitlin?

He noticed his doppelganger cautiously moving over towards his Iris who was sitting staring at the screens and oh what a weird feeling that was he was having in response.


	2. Iris POV

“I’m sorry about your friend.” Was the first thing he said to her as he approached.

“Thanks.” She replied, kind of stunned just looking at him. Two Barry’s, in the one room.

“Zoom’s terrorised our Earth too.” He explained sympathetically.

“Yours. Yours and…your…wife’s.” she stated. She couldn’t believe they were married – except that she could. Part of her wasn’t even surprised. But to see it, to actually see it in existence right in front of her, see it as a real possibility, really struck her.

“Yes! Iris!” he replied excitedly at the mention of his wife. “Well, of course, you know that.” He said with a smile and a roll of eyes.

Iris laughed, which felt weird considering what had happened earlier. But it was Barry. Nerdy, rambling with a big smile Barry. He was wearing a bow-tie. And wingtips.

“I like your bow-tie.” She told him.

“Thank you!” he said enthusiastically. He seemed to take that as an invitation to fully talk to her, pulling out the chair next to her and taking a seat. “Though I’m such a mess now.” He said seriously, brushing off his cardigan. “We had to traipse through a forest, getting chased by a very frosty meta-human – pun intended, because oh boy. And then we had to climb ice. Ice! Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. I mean, my wife can handle that kind of hellish situation, but I’m not exactly, you know, outdoorsy.” He said the last bit quietly and over-pronounced, like it was a secret. He even raised his eyebrows, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

She almost snorted, remembering her own Barry falling down a lot in sports, her dad teaching him how to box. The face staring at her right now was completely adorable and automatically made her smile.

“You didn’t…grow up with your Iris, did you?” she asked him, already sure of the answer. This Barry was so wholesome, so happy. He didn’t carry the pain that her Barry did, that influenced him so much. This Earth 2 Barry was like the utter goodness she knew of her own Barry, completely unfiltered. Not tarnished by loss that he carried everywhere; that weight of the world her Barry had. This Barry’s mother hadn’t suffered the same fate as Nora Allen on this Earth, she knew it.

“No, I sure did! Best friends through school.” He nodded seriously. Then he smiled, his head tilting. “It’s really quite romantic. She’s always been it for me.”

“But you didn’t live together, right?” she tried to make clearer.

“Before we were married? I may be appreciative of some old-fashioned ways but I didn’t see us living together before marriage to be something to object to. I’m surprised if that’s the cultured belief on this Earth and I would have to say, I really cannot approve with forbidding people who love each other –“

“No,” she cut him off, because she really had to. “No, Uhm, “ she tried again, “It’s… I meant as kids; you didn’t live in the same house, did you.”

“I don’t understand.” He replied looking confused.

“Right.” She said with a small smile. She couldn’t explain this to him, she didn’t even if it was her place.

He leaned in and looked at her earnestly “Is this an Earth 1 thing?” he asked like it was information he needed to know in case he offended someone.


	3. Barry POV

“You know, if you keep shooting daggers as hard as you are you might just develop some new power that melts him.” Barry heard Cisco as the other man approached. He could also hear the smirk on his voice.

“What? No I’m not.” He denied.

“Dude.” Was all Cisco said.

“It’s…he’s… It’s weird, okay!” he tried to explain. “He’s making her laugh. Look at her smiling!” he whispered.

“Oh wow. I know it’s been a while since Iris was with someone but I hadn’t realised I’d forgotten how this,” Cisco gestured towards him, his hand waving in a circle as he looked him up and down “reaction goes.”

Barry sighed and turned away, trying not to look at his Iris laughing with the guy with his face. He hadn’t been prepared for this when he decided that bringing Earth 2 Barry and Iris to Earth 1 was the best thing.

“You liked him when we were on Earth 2. And he really came through in the end.” Cisco continued. “Now you’re staring him down like he’s your evil twin, which he is not, by the way. And yours isn’t even evil, or dead; you should be happy about that.”

“I’m not staring him down!” he denied again. “I don’t stare people down!” he insisted. He didn’t, did he? He shook his head. “It’s… I don’t have a problem.” He finally settled on.

“You know, he’s the one who should have a problem with you. I mean, if any Barry Allen is going to be annoyed at another guy for taking it up with Iris West – or, Iris West Allen, I guess,” he said looking at nothing in the air with a squint as he thought of her name. “It should be that one.” He said looking back at Barry. “You did make out with his wife.”

“I did not…” he took a breath. It didn’t work. “That wasn’t my fault! And keep your voice down.” He hissed at his friend.

“Oh I think you should be worried about him telling Iris, not me. I mean, his Iris told him.” Cisco informed.

“What?” he felt the blood drain from his face.

“Oh yeah.” Cisco nodded. “He said he was going to have a word with you over it and everything. Dude’s all about Iris.” He said with a serious look. “Not a look I haven’t seen before on this Earth though…just sayin’.” He muttered under his breath. Barry chose not to comment on it.

“Oh god. Iris thinks I’m over her! What’s she going to think if she hears that?” he said in a hushed whisper.

“Uh, what makes you think she thinks that? Or that anybody thinks that, for that matter?” he asked with a judgemental quirk of his brows.

“I moved on!” he said.

Cisco stared at him.

“Patty?” he prodded.

“Yeah. And?” Cisco replied with a blank expression on his face.

“So I moved on from Iris.” Barry insisted.

“Uh, no. You had a relationship with a cool and hot chick that wasn’t Iris because Iris wasn’t ready to be with you. That’s about it.” Cisco summed up. “I liked Patty, she was great, but Barry, man, you can’t actually think you’re over Iris…do you?” at the end his look had turned from almost amusement to what looked like worry.

“I thought other people might have thought it!” he explained.

“Ohh.” His look of worry was gone. “Yeah, no.” he said with a shake of his head. "And even if that were the case, I was with you on Earth 2. I saw...how you were with her." he added more carefully.

“Oh.” Barry groaned, bringing his hand to his forehead, a million and one scenarios going through his mind. The past few months, god, the past year running through his mind. Did she know? Had she hinted she knew? Was she angry at him? Did she feel anything back? Was everybody talking about it? Had they never stopped talking about it?

“Relax. Iris - this Earth's Iris - is fine.” Cisco told him, the humour gone from his face. “You’re both fine, you’re still…you and Iris.”

“I shouldn’t even be thinking about this. Jay just died.” He said ashamed of himself.

“We’re gonna figure out how to stop Zoom. We always figure it out. But for now, it’s good we have some downtime.” Cisco rationalised.

Barry sighed, tilting his head back and staring up, trying to find some kind of answer, to something. “How’s Caitlin doing?” he asked.

“Not great, but she’s asleep at least. She was really just starting to move on from Ronnie, you know? This… I’m worried about her.”

“Me too. We’ll take care of her.” Barry tried to reassure his friend.

“I was thinking we probably shouldn’t tell her about her and Ronnie’s evil duo versions. At least, not yet. I mean, what are we gonna say? The evil version of your husband also just died?” Cisco said looking upset by it himself.

“No, you’re right. I’ll mention it to the other Barry and Iris. I doubt they'll say anything, but just in case.”

“You mean the happy West Allens?” Cisco joked.

“Shut up.” Barry said flatly.

At that moment he saw Earth 2 Iris make his way over to the other Barry and his Iris. His doppelganger immediately rose to meet his wife and offered her his chair, which she declined with a smile and then leaned against the counter between the other two, more on her husbands side. Barry watched his Earth 2 self take her hand and then excitedly started talking to the two Iris’, like it was the easiest thing in the world. For all his bumbling and awkward, Barry thought Earth 2 Barry may have one up on him in this. He didn’t seem unsettled by a pair of Iris Wests, instead naturally interacting with them, finding his place as a husband and…whatever else it would be. Barry didn’t think he’d be as calm.

Then he saw Earth 2 Iris put her hand on his shoulder and the man just…reacted. Barry couldn’t even explain it. It was like she brought him to life or something, just with that touch. He was nodding at her, listening, seemed comfortable and happy. So happy. Barry didn't think he'd ever been that effortlessly happy. He supposed it was the confidence that came with having Iris West as your wife, having her choose you.

“Barry,” Cisco said quietly. Barry looked away from the trio, clearing his throat softly and looking down. He could practically hear Cisco’s sympathy.

“You spent…some time with them, right?” he asked his friend.

“The West Allens?” Cisco tried to clarify.

“Yeah.” Barry confirmed.

“Yeah, a bit. He has the same lab as you, you know.”

Barry’s lips tugged a small smile. That figured. “What….were they like?” he asked, barely looking Cisco in the eye, trying to casually shrug about it. “Together, I mean.”

“In love.” The tech expert replied bluntly. Barry nodded. “Do you really need to know any more than that?”

“No.” he responded quietly. “I guess not.” He smiled sadly at the other man.

“He came with us to Zoom's lair because of her.” Cisco added after a moment of silence. “He didn’t want her in danger by herself. And there was no way she’s wasn’t coming with us to help.” Cisco smiled, an image of an obviously stubborn Iris that Barry – that both of them - could understand.

“Thanks.” Barry told his friend. Cisco clasped his shoulder.

Barry put his hands in his pockets, changing the subject off a very happy, very married Barry and Iris.

“How about you? How are you with…everything?” he asked Cisco.

“You mean meeting my not so subtle dopp-elganger and watching him die?”

“Are you ever going to stop saying 'doppelganger' like that?”

“No.” Cisco replied, looking at him like he’d asked a completely stupid question. Barry nodded.

“It wasn’t you.” Barry tried, referring to Cisco's doppelganger.

“Right. You wanna repeat that about the West Allens over there?” Cisco said, gesturing to the trio on the other side of the room. For how emotional it had been, Barry suddenly found himself extremely grateful that a Joe that hated him was the worst thing he’d found in his Earth 2 counterpart’s life. What if he and Iris had been evil? Worse, what if they hadn't even been in each other's lives like the others?

“Okay, point taken.” He gave.

“I’m just questioning the lack of absolute logic. I mean, why were Caitlin, Ronnie and I on the Dark Side but you and Iris weren’t? Jay said it’d be like a mirror…but really, what was so different about you and Iris? How did you two escape being on the war-mongering Terran Empire side of things? So you weren’t The Flash, and that changed other events in your life. But apart from that? What’s so different? Compared to Snow Queen and I?”

“Uh, really?” he said making his own gesture towards the Earth 2 couple. The happily married couple.

“What, you mean the marriage? Right, because we’ve never heard of an Iris West Allen on this Earth.” Cisco said sarcastically.

“That isn’t –“

“It doesn’t matter if it’s still going to happen or not – not for the sake of this discussion.” Cisco interrupted him attempted dismissal. “A married you and Iris as a reality exists on this Earth. It’s not a major difference.”

Barry sighed, trying not to see that newspaper article in his mind. He hadn’t checked if that was a future that still was looking to play out. He hadn’t had the bravery too, trying not to let himself be consumed by Iris West when she didn’t want him back. But now it was all he could think about. He looked at her with the Earth 2 pair. She didn’t seem put off by them. Curious, maybe? Her expression was open, she was listening to the other Iris tell her something. He turned away, trying to refocus.

“But…we don’t know what he – Reverb – was like before. He might have just been like you.” Barry tried to work through the logic, because Cisco did have a point. That Barry had Iris…and his job…and his parents. And didn’t have powers. There wasn’t a reason for him to turn evil. If any version was more likely to go bad, it would be him.

“Is this your attempt at chilling me out? Because it’s not very comforting.” Cisco criticised.

“I’m just saying maybe he wasn’t actually evil.”

“That punch sure felt evil.” Cisco muttered, rubbing at his jaw.

“Killer Frost? You were only with her for a matter of minutes and you were able to get her to turn on Zoom, Cisco.”

“For the most part.” Cisco said, raising his eyebrows.

“So maybe over there…you and that Caitlin and Ronnie didn’t have…the team? I mean here, when you started to get your powers – you had all of us. Ronnie too. We could help - and we’ll keep helping if your powers evolve. And that world was under Zoom’s rule. Maybe Reverb wasn’t evil, maybe he was just trying to survive.”

“Kinda failed on that one." Cisco added quietly.

“We won’t here.” Barry assured.

“So what, our real super secret power is the power of friendship?”

Barry shrugged at him, then they both laughed, clasping hands in a casual handshake.

“I’m getting us Team Friendship rings.” Cisco said as he headed back to the medical bay to sit with Caitlin.

Barry turned towards the others, knowing he couldn’t really hide in a corner for any longer. He was feeling guilty about leaving Iris to deal with them by herself. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry about my pretty awful attempt at Cisco. That was difficult for me.
> 
> Also, I know there's quite a bit of non-WestAllen stuff in this chapter. It's just that I figured Barry would be his usual good friend self.


	4. Iris POV

“Iris!” Earth 2 Barry turned to his wife with a bright smile. “I was just telling…Iris” he laughed a nerdy laugh, a giggle almost, with his full beam on display. “About our wedding and how wonderful you looked. Oh, we didn’t get to bring any of our wedding pictures!” within a few seconds he was looking miserable, like a lost puppy. He was so expressive.

“It’s okay baby, we’ll be back with our wedding pictures soon.” Earth 2 Iris soothed him with a hand on his shoulder, and it was like soothing him. His face calmed, his body relaxed.

“Right; you're right.” He nodded at his wife.

Earth 2 Iris turned to her. “I’m sorry about what happened to your friend.” She said and Iris stared at her. They were like a friggin’ double-team.

“Thank you. Your uh, husband, said the same thing.” She said to her doppelganger.

“It’s weird for you.” Earth 2 Iris said to her outright, summing the whole thing up, and then looking at her husband and emphasising exactly what was weird for Iris. Then her doppelganger looked over to where Iris knew Barry and Cisco were.

“Very weird.” She finally replied. Her doppelganger looked at her like she was trying to decide something. Earth 2 Barry wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist, pulling her from the work-station she was leaning against as she walked the extra step into his space at he still sat in the seat across from Iris. Iris kind of wanted to run away. Taking a breath she forced herself through it, changing the subject, effectively running away as much as she could without actually leaving.

“Iris,” she said, it feeling so strange to say when acknowledging someone else. “Your outfit – it’s amazing.”

“It’s my police uniform.”

“You’re a cop?” she asked with a surprised smile. At least one Iris in the multiverse had gotten her way.

“Yeah. Why? What are you?”

“I’m a journalist. My dad wouldn’t let me follow his footsteps and be a cop too.”

“Your father’s a police officer?” Earth 2 Barry joined the conversation.

“A detective at CCPD, yeah.” She said looking over the two of them, seeing something was clearly wrong. They kept looking at each other and deliberately avoiding her. “What?” she finally asked them.

“Iris,” Earth 2 Iris said seriously, turning her body towards Iris. Iris had been around cops her entire life, she knew that stance. She knew bad news was coming. “My father was killed last night.” Her doppelganger finally said. Iris felt like everything in the room just stopped and she was the only one still moving. She briefly wondered if this was something like what Barry experienced through his speed. Her dad…No. Her dad was fine. He’d been here an hour ago. She saw him leave. Whatever had happened on Earth 2, it hadn’t happened here. Joe West was alive.

“Oh my god.” She breathed. “I… I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine.” She felt like she was going to be sick. It wasn’t her dad, it wasn’t her dad. “Have you…seen my dad yet?” she asked her double. “If it will help, he… I mean… I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s right to suggest here.” She stuttered, trying to figure out what to do. She wanted to go see her dad, honestly.

“It’s alright. I know it’s strange.” Earth 2 Iris assured calmly and Iris found herself impressed with the other version of her. She didn’t know how she wasn’t on the floor screaming at the world. “Would you mind if I maybe…talked to him, at some point? Would that be too much for you?” Her doppelganger asked.

“No, no of course you can.” Iris told her quickly, then turned to include Earth 2 Barry. “And you both can stay at the house, for however long you’re here for, if you're comfortable with that. However long it takes Cisco to work out your IDs. I think he’s asking some friends of ours for help so it shouldn’t take too long. But yeah, you can totally stay.”

“Will that be… What about…” she trailed off looked at Earth 2 Barry who looked back at her, and then they both looked down. That silent communication again. Did she and her Barry have anything like that?

“What?” She prompted them,

“Well,” her doppelganger started, “He and Barry… Will he be okay with him?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” she replied.

“I wasn’t exactly Joseph’s favourite person.” Earth 2 Barry explained awkwardly. And it got weirder apparently. A Joe West that didn’t adore Barry Allen? That was even more surreal than the married couple – the married her – in front of her.

“Oh. Well, you are on this Earth.” She told them.

“Really? They get along?” Earth 2 Iris asked and Iris found herself continuing to examine her doppelganger in a new way. She’d thought this Iris had so easy. Gets to be a cop, check. Gets Barry and happily married life, check. But her dad dying; the relationship her dad and Barry had – she couldn’t imagine the loss of either.

“My dad’s like a father to Barry here.” She said carefully.

“He…he likes me?” Earth 2 Barry said with bright eyes and oh, the hope and surprise on his face went a long way to taking some of the hurt she was feeling over hearing about the death of her dad’s Earth 2 doppelganger.

“He loves you.” She said honestly. “You might get a protective lecture about being a detective though.” She joked to her doppelganger who thankfully smiled back.

“That an attitude I’m a little more familiar with.” Earth 2 Iris told her. Earth 2 Barry took his wife’s hand in his and placed a kiss to the back of her hand, looking up with her with understanding. Each time she thought she was starting to get used to it the pair in front of her did something like that. They were so tactile, clearly so in tune with each other. She did want to know how they’d gotten to that point.

“So how long have you guys been together? I mean, has there ever been…anyone else?” she prodded.

“Oh, not for me. She’s always had me.” The Barry in front of her said, adjusting to the subject change. Iris was pretty sure this was a conversation theme he was pretty comfortable with. His love for Iris West – Iris West Allen.

“If you discount Beck-y Coop-er, that is.” Her doppelganger said with attitude.

“Iris clasped her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. “High school girlfriend?” She presumed.

“She. Was. Awful.” Earth 2 Iris said.

“She wasn’t that bad.” Earth 2 Barry interjected. “She was a nice, respectful girl.”

“No, she was awful. And she hated me.” Earth 2 Iris stated.

“Because she knew I was in love with you. It wasn’t really her fault.” Barry tried to be kind. Her doppelganger was having none of it.

“Are you defending Becky Cooper to me?” she accused but Iris could hear the playfulness in her tone. And Earth 2 Barry responded to it.

“No, definitely not. I’m simply saying that it’s always been obvious how much I love you and only you. She knew she could never compete with you." He said looking up at his wife from his position sitting in the chair.

“Good save.” The doppelganger told her husband with a smile as she dipped down to kiss him.

Iris watched their back and forth, only looking away when they kissed. She wasn’t ready for that. When she turned back to them Earth 2 Iris had her arm around his shoulder, his still wrapped around her waist. Earth 2 Barry was looking so proudly at his wife. Wife. She’d been thinking it a lot now as she’d interacted with them. Was this how she and Barry were going to be in the future? If that future still existed. Or would they be different?

And Becky Cooper? Of all things for their Earths to have in common, Becky Cooper wasn’t the thing Iris would have guessed. She’d been awful to Iris in this Earth as well and Iris had absolutely hated her. Although now Iris was thinking things over, moments from their teenage years. Was that the same reason the Becky Cooper of this world had acted the same way towards Iris? Because she knew that Barry… Oh.

“You guys are so cute.” She told them.

Barry came over towards them then, joining the group. He stood next to her. The two mirrored Barry and Iris versions facing each other.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?” he said not too casually.

“Becky Cooper.” She replied with a chuckle, looking up at him.

“For real? Of all the things that could possibly be discussed you settled on Becky Cooper?”

The three of them all gave efforts of a shrug, then Iris saw her counterpart get this calculated look on her face.

“Well, she was terrible. Always literally tugging Barry away and making a big thing of it in front of me. And that stupid smile she used to make at me.” Earth 2 Iris said.

“I could never be truly tugged away from you.” Earth 2 Barry told Earth 1 Iris. Double-team, Iris was sure of it.

“I uh, should get to work.” Iris stood up. “Try to see if I’m still winning this new fight with my new boss.” She couldn’t do this. It was just too much. A married Barry and Iris like some kind of judging witnesses, showing how much she’d maybe gotten it wrong with her own Barry. And she didn’t want to embarrass him either.

Barry frowned at her comment about work. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just...didn’t exactly hit it off with the new guy.” She briefly explained.

“Do you need…” he trailed off, leaving the suggestion of help.

“No, I should be fine. Thanks. I’ll tell you about it later at home?” she checked, because she really did want to talk to him about everything. About what he’d missed here, about how he felt about their doppelgangers, about Earth 2, about Jay, everything.

“Yeah, definitely.” He nodded at her.

“I told them they could stay at the house. I’ll check with dad but you know he’s going to be fine with it. Probably insist on it.” She said with a smile that Barry reflected back at her. “So you’ll make sure they get there okay?”

“I will.” He nodded at her again. Iris stared at him for a beat, standing across from her. She’d almost forgotten that not only were there other people in the room, but that she’d actually been part of a conversation with people she was now pretty much blanking. But she was so caught up in Barry. She hadn’t really even had a chance to welcome him back, welcome him home. After Jay had been killed…everything else was affected and came second. He was staring back at her and she wondered if maybe she was thinking about it too.

“Right,” she said, finally pulling herself away. She forced herself to turn to the doppelgangers. “I’ll uhm, see you guys later?” she smiled at them. They both nodded and smiled back at her. Earth 2 Iris’ smile was more thoughtful compared to Earth 2 Barry’s polite one. “Make sure Caitlin knows she can call me if she needs anything.” She told Barry. “She and Jay – they seemed pretty close while you guys were gone.” Barry nodded with a concerned frown towards the medical bay. “Okay.” She said quietly with one last smile before she turned and walked out the cortex, clasping her bag’s shoulder strap to her.

“You live together.” She heard her own voice say behind her as she left. Oh somehow this was going to get even more complicated.


	5. Barry POV

“We don’t live together.” Barry told Earth 2 Iris as he watched his own Iris leave. “Not like you’re thinking, anyway.”

“What am I thinking?” Earth 2 Iris tilted her head at him and just looked at him. She raised her eyebrows at him and Barry wasn’t sure what was expected of him in this moment.

“Honey.” He heard Earth 2 Barry interrupt the moment. Earth 2 Iris sighed, her expression changing to something much friendlier as she looked at him again.

“You told me you loved me. And you said it way too genuinely for it to have not meant anything.” She told him bluntly.

“Excuse me, what?” His doppelganger interrupted again. “Barry, you can’t just go around kissing and – and telling other men’s wives that you love them.” His double looked at him like he was disappointed in him. “It’s not gentlemanly-like at all and I’m sorry but no. You can’t treat my wife like that. I won’t stand for it.” Barry was pretty sure his doppelganger was about to stand up to face him but Earth 2 Iris put her hand on her husband’s shoulder and he stayed sitting.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you guys were… I didn’t mean to disrespect either of you.” He told them both before turning specifically to his doppelganger. “We saw your broadcast talking about how the department was handling Zoom under the leadership of ‘Detective West’. We assumed it was Joe. And I needed to find out information. And then I just…I just got caught up, I’m sorry.”

“Because for you it was your Iris.” Iris’ doppelganger said.

“For me it was me and my Iris.” He admitted with a sigh as he leaned forward, bracing his hands on the desk.

“So you do love her.” She continued.

“Yes.” He confirmed.

“Does she know that?” Iris' doppelganger asked him and he really was starting to feel like he was experiencing an interrogation courtesy of Detective West. 

“Yes. At least, she did. I don’t know what she thinks now. Everybody else though apparently is still totally aware though.” He added mockingly as he stood back up straight.

“So why aren’t you together?” she ignored his attitude.

“It’s complicated. Iris and I grew up together.” He told them.

“…in the same house.” Earth 2 Barry said sounding dazed. Both he and Iris’ doppelganger looked at him. “Uh, she – Iris, she asked me if we grew up together, in the same house. I didn’t understand what she meant but… You were raised together, in the same house…” he completed, realising he had worked it out.

“Yes. What else did she say?” Barry asked him.

“Oh, uh, noth-nothing, really. She clearly realised it wasn’t the same for us.” He said.

“I don’t understand. Why were you raised together?” Earth 2 asked. Barry realised he had to tell them. They were going to find out at some point, especially if Earth 2 Iris kept being her full detective self and kept pushing for answers. He sighed.

“There’s something I need to tell you both, especially you, Barry.” He started. He took a breath. “There’s no easy way to say this…”

Earth 2 Barry nodded encouragingly, his face serious and responsive to what Barry was setting up.

Barry steeled himself. He stood with his arms crossed, the slightest rock to his body. He’d told this story so many times. This one line that sometimes felt like it was the only thing about him that mattered. It never got easier to say it.

“When I was 11 my…mother, was murdered. And my dad was arrested, and charged, for it.” He revealed.

Earth 2 Barry’s face turned white. Iris looked shocked, and upset.

“Oh god, Nora.” Earth 2 Iris said, her eyes shining.

“I don’t… My dad? Is he okay?” his doppelganger asked him.

“Yeah, yeah he is now. We got him out. But not till recently. Joe was the lead detective on the case and Iris was my best friend. I went to live with them. Joe raised me. That’s why we’re so close here.” Barry explained to the couple.

“That’s why you were upset back on our Earth, after you’d talked to…our Nora.” Iris said looking sadly at him. Her husband turned between the two of them, listening to the new information.

Barry nodded, “Yeah. I wasn’t…expecting her to be… I dunno. I guess I just hadn’t thought of the possibility. Even when I realised our…other selves were there.” He tried to explain.

“Barry, I’m so sorry.” Earth 2 Iris said, her hand reaching up to clasp his arm. He saw his doppelganger track the moment but didn’t say anything, too caught up with the information, Barry guessed. Or maybe that Barry Allen didn’t feel any insecurity with his marriage that it simply didn’t register much. It was getting easier to separate them from his own life, especially when they were both in front of him. It was different now than when he first discovered Earth 2 Iris.

“But you do still love her.” It was Earth 2 Barry that added that, with a bit of a question to his voice like he knew the answer but was just rechecking his methodology. He still looked shaken by the revelation about his parents but it was like he was trying to rediscover comfortable ground with the question. Like it was something familiar he could lose himself in. The subject of Barry Allen loving Iris West, Barry figured.

“Always. But I never told her. Not till it was too late.” Barry replied, also happy to get off the subject of his mother’s death.

“Why was it too late?” Earth 2 Iris asked, straight back to the questioning.

“She fell in love with someone else, was engaged to him, and then he died saving the city and we just…we missed our chance, I guess.” He tried to explain, looking down. Barry was starting to feel numb now. And tired. Having to face his feelings for Iris so literally was something rough going. Having to explain their entire history to a married version of them that he was jealous of made it even harder. He wanted to believe it was easier; if anybody could understand how he felt it would be them, but they had it all. They had it all and were looking at him like they couldn’t understand how he’d failed on the one thing that mattered more than anything.

“Listen, there was something I wanted to ask of you both. Killer Frost and Deathstorm.” He said changing the subject before either could react to what he’d said.

“You don’t want us to mention them to your friend.” Earth 2 Iris said, as ahead as she’d been the entire time he’d known her.

“If you don’t mind. Caitlin doesn’t have powers. She’s not –“

“I didn’t kill Killer Frost because she helped us get away from Zoom, and find you and Jessie; I’m not going to take it out on her innocent doppelganger.” She said bluntly.

“Thank you.” He told her.

“Back on our Earth – Cisco said she loved…Ronnie? Your Deathstorm.” Earth 2 Barry asked him.

“Uh, Firestorm, here. He had…has…” he trailed off really not wanting to try to explain the personalities of Firestorm. “They were married. They didn’t get to enjoy their marriage. Ronnie died, last year, saving Central City. He had powers, but he was on the good side.”

“He died saving the city like Iris’ love died saving the city?” Earth 2 Iris asked.

“Yes. There was an…incident. They both died doing what I should have done. I couldn’t do enough. They sacrificed themselves. It was my fault.” Barry explained avoiding looking at both of them.

“It doesn’t seem like Iris blames you for that, so maybe you should stop blaming yourself. She is the one that lost her love, as you say, so maybe take her lead on that.” She said almost tauntingly, and when he turned to her she was looking at him like she was daring him to disagree. He thought he’d seen everything new in how an Iris West could react to a Barry Allen, but he was getting the distinct impression this Iris West maybe didn’t like him very much. Even though he felt surer in himself now of the differences between this Iris and his own – that they were different, that this Iris wasn’t his – he still did not like being on the receiving end of that look from that face.

Earth 2 Barry cleared his throat. “Well, I’m beat. It’s really been quite a trying day and I’d like to get properly cleaned up, right honey?”

“Course.” Earth 2 Iris finally looked away from him and focused on her husband. They had some kind of silent exchange Barry tried not to pay attention to.

“Right. I’ll get you guys back to the house; you can meet Joe properly. Uhm, just lemme…I need to check on Wells and say bye to Cisco. So just…I won’t be long.” He said as he headed out the room to find Dr. Wells.


	6. Iris POV

“Hey baby!” her dad called as she walked into CCPD.

“Hey dad.” She went over and immediately hugged him, squeezing him a bit harder, and for a bit longer than usual, assuring herself that he was here, that whatever had happened on Earth 2 with the Joe West there was something she didn’t need to focus on.

“Everything okay?” he asked when they pulled away, his eyes running over her face, concerned.

“Yeah, fine. I just wanted to see you.” She told him. He stared at her clearly knowing there was more to it but he didn’t say anything.

“Well, always happy to have a visit from my babygirl.” He smiled at her.

“Hey, I invited Barry - the other Barry and…Iris, to stay at the house while they’re here. I figured that would be okay with you?”

“Course, no problem. That’s my beautiful daughter, always thinking of others.” He seemed rather perky. Suspiciously so.

“What are you up to?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“Me? Nothing at all. Just maybe looking forward to seeing how the four of you deal with this whole are they married, are they not situation you’ve got going on.” He said with a full smile.

“Dad!” she groaned at him.

“I’m sorry honey, but it is… you and Barry married. I mean, isn’t it affecting you just a touch?” he asked her.

“Dad, I can’t right now okay.” She said, because she really couldn’t.

“Okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut and nose out of it.” He conceded. “I’ll…let you guys work it yourselves.” He waved a hand at her.

“Thank you.” She told him.

“At least at first.” He muttered as he turned away.

“Dad!” she scolded again. He laughed.

“I’m sorry, Iris. It’s just… I mean, come on.” He said facing her again.

“She’s a cop, you know.” She told him seriously, knowing it would be a hit.

“What?” his face dropped, all smiling gone.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Detective Iris West.” She said pointedly.

“Don’t even think about it.” He told her, pointing his finger at her.

“Detective Iris West…Allen.” She corrected thoughtfully. She looked up at her father and they both started laughing.

“Oh god,” she groaned as she finished laughing, an exhale on her breath. If she didn’t laugh she would cry. Or ambush Earth 2 Barry and Iris and ask them how they had figured out. Both options she’d like to avoid. It felt so much better to be able to acknowledge it all with a smile, how ridiculously ironic and obvious the whole thing was.

“So what are you really doing here? Out with it.” The Earth 1 Detective West ordered.

“Not sure how to say this exactly,” she started, bringing her hands together awkwardly, “But uh…Iris told me that her father…was killed.” She said bluntly, breaking the news to him.

“Oh.” Her father replied.

“Yeah. She said it happened last night.” Iris added with almost a flinch, her body rebelling against the idea.

“Last night? Wait, you mean while –“

“Barry was there? Yeah, that’s what I was wondering too. They didn’t say anything to me, any of them, but dad if he was there…if he saw…” she left it unsaid.

“I’ll make sure to check on him.” He assured her. Iris smiled thankfully back at him.

“And Earth 2 Barry and Iris?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ll…go easy on them.” He reassured.

“Thanks, dad.” She told him sincerely, glad he was on the same wavelength about this as her.

“Absolutely. You coming over tonight?” he asked her, picking up some papers from the desk.

“Yeah. Yeah I am.” She confirmed. “I need to go to my place and pick up some clothes for Iris first though. I figured she probably needed some stuff. Barry can deal with his Earth 2’s self…though I’m not sure the other Barry is going to appreciate going from bow-ties to plain sweaters.” She said with a smile.

“So no avoiding everything then?” he looked down at her with his eyebrows raised and saying way too much with facial expression alone.

“You’re doing it.” She accused.

He held his hands up. She shook her head at him with a smile.

“The other thing is Wally.” She said.

“What about him?” her dad asked with a confused frown.

“You mean besides hopefully not getting into a situation where we have to try to explain why there’s two Barry and Iris’?” she replied sarcastically.

“Oh. Yeah, good point. I’ll uh…see what he’s doing the next few days. At least get some notice if he’s coming over and we can work around him.”

“It’s not just that.” Her dad looked at her, gesturing for her to continue. “I don’t know if they have a Wally on their Earth, or if maybe they don’t know about him. I mean, they never mentioned him. I was going to but honestly, there was enough other stuff that made me want to run away and hide as it was, I thought a possible long-lost brother scenario might have been pushing it.” She exhaled. It was ridiculous how complicated everything was. She was exhausted already.

“Oh, man. Okay. Well, we gotta tell them.” Her father told her.

“I know.” She agreed. It wasn’t right not to. Maybe it wasn’t right to almost meddle in their lives either but what if they just never found out about their possible Wally at all? And they did need to warn them about him here anyway. “I just wanted to warn you.”

“Thanks, babygirl. I should be able to get away soon so I’ll see you at the house.” She turned to leave again after smiling at her dad. Then she immediately turned back again.

“Oh, also, their Joe West apparently didn’t like their Barry very much.” She said before heading off again.

“Wait, what?” she heard her dad ask her.

“See you at home later, dad!” she called as she made her way to the elevator. Maybe it was cruel but she was really looking forward to seeing Earth 2 Barry interact with her dad and she didn’t want to give much pre-warning about it. As long as her dad knew to tread carefully, she figured everything else would be fine. She was pretty sure Earth 2 Barry would make a whole collection of adorable faces when talking to her dad.


	7. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh it's awkward. It's awkward, it's awkward (but hopefully enjoyable to read lol)
> 
> Thanks to everybody reading!

“Oh that is a bracing experience you don’t get used to easily.” Earth 2 Barry said bending over and holding his stomach as if he had been the one running. His wife quickly tended to him.

“Sorry. We would have walked but uh, you know…” he said gesturing towards their physical likeness.

“Right. Hey, this is our house!” Earth 2 Barry said as he looked up at the building.

“Yeah, it’s the West household here. Weird, I know.” He said remembering when he first walked into their marital home on Earth 2.

“Oh wow.” Earth 2 Barry said with a laugh as Barry let them inside. He watched his doppelganger circling around as he looked at the living room. “Ha!” he said with a look what Barry could only describe as wonderment. Barry couldn’t help smiling at his actions. Earth 2 Iris was being much more subtle in her inspection of the place but Barry saw her focus flicker over some of the framed family pictures on display, similar to how he had done in their home. He wondered if she was missing her own pictures or focusing on the unfamiliar Earth 2 ones.

“Can I get you guys anything?” he offered.

“Actually, would it be okay if we showered?” Earth 2 Iris asked turning back towards him. His doppelganger didn’t seem surprised by the request, standing by his wife’s side as always, putting an hand on the base of her back.

“Sure! Uhm, I’ll…I’ll put you guys in my room just now. And I’ll get you…stuff.” Barry lead the Earth 2 couple to his room, using his speed to change his sheets. Earth 2 Iris seemed to make a point of brushing herself down after the air from his actions ruffled her appearance. It probably would have made more sense to give them Iris’ empty room but he felt weird about making that choice for her.

“Towels!” he declared, handing some over to Earth 2 Barry who looked as open in expression as ever. “And uh…” he rummaged through his closet, feeling every very long second that he spent finding some dark jeans and a white t-shirt for his doppelganger. He really wanted to speed through it but he was pretty sure he’d get a glare from the Iris in his room. He briefly thought about also lending her something of his to wear but quickly decided against it. The thought of it felt so very wrong on levels he hadn’t been giving attention to. Maybe it shouldn’t feel anything; it was just clothes. But the idea of seeing Iris – any Iris – in his clothes was enough as it was. The idea that it wouldn’t be his Iris? It was way too much. He was sure he felt the start of guilt and betrayal about it which he wanted to sigh about. It was stupid. He’d actually kissed this Iris, technically, even if he hadn’t exactly been totally in the moment. But he’d also known it was really the first time. The first time he’d experienced kissing Iris West was his Iris West, even if she didn’t remember it. The first time he’d told her he loves Iris West was his Iris West. Somehow that really mattered. And the idea of giving this Iris some kind of other first like that – he couldn’t explain how much part of him repelled against it.

“I’ll text Iris and see if she can bring a change of clothes for you.” He told Earth 2 Iris.

“Thanks, I’d appreciate that.” She replied to him.

“Okay, uh, I’ll be downstairs. Bathroom’s…” he attempted to point down the hall, stopped half way when he realised he’d be pointing through his bedroom wall and then did the whole process a pathetic second time. Neither of the couple did or said anything in response. He was actually out-awkwarding Earth 2 Barry. He looked at them both once before leaving, the image of Barry Allen and Iris West standing with their arms around each other’s back’s and in front of his bed completely ruining him.

He walked back down the stairs with his hands against his temples, trying to find some kind of peace from the nightmare currently playing out.

_Already on it_ was the reply from Iris when he texted her about clothes for her doppelganger. He should have figured she would be.

_I’m pretty sure they’re showering together_ he texted back after a couple minutes, apparently wanting to share the nightmare with someone else.

_Of course they are_ was her response shortly after, making him chuckle at least. Yeah, he should have expected it, really. They were definitely Team West-Allen.

_Remember you’re an adult_ she texted a moment later.

_I think it’s very adult of me to be weirded out by the doppelganger married to the doppelganger of my best friend showering together in my bathroom while I’m downstairs by myself_ He replied to her. He could have made it even more awkward, the doppelganger of his best friend/woman he’d been in love with his entire life and who didn’t want him back the same way, but he spared her that. And himself. May as well try to curb some embarrassment with the way the day was turning out – Barry was sure the awkward wasn’t over.

_I’ll be there soon_ his phone beeped her reply. Barry dumped himself on the couch with a sigh, pulling a pillow over his head and covering his eyes.

 

\----------

 

He was aimlessly flipping through channels when Iris came through the door. He turned his head towards her.

“Hey.” He greeted her.

She looked at him sitting by himself and then said. “They can’t possibly still be showering.”

“I don’t wanna know.” He replied. He’d been trying really hard not to have ‘Barry Allen and Iris West are showering’ running through his head like a headline.

“Don’t you?” she muttered and then her face stilled, like she hadn’t meant to say that as she turned away and dropped the holdall bag she had with her by the stairs and removing her coat and shoes. Barry wasn’t sure what the comment meant. Iris wasn’t exactly the type to mock him, or have a dig, not unless she was absolutely fuming at him anyway. So was it…was she playing with him? Maybe it was just her way of trying to deal with everything that was happening. Whatever it was, he knew she was regretting saying it, so he didn’t want to put focus on it. He couldn’t put her on the spot like that.

“Uh, I don’t know what time Joe’s coming home.” He tried to reshape the tension suddenly in the room.

“I spoke to him. He said he was hoping to finish up soon.” She told him. Then she looked at the TV with a frown. “What are you watching?”

“Absolutely nothing.” He said switching the cartoons and the TV off. “Did you get your work thing sorted out?” he asked her as she dropped down onto the couch next to him.

“Uh, yeah.” She said hesitantly.

“What’s going on?” he asked her.

She sighed. “It’s nothing really.”

“You said something about a new guy?” he referenced her earlier comment.

“New editor.” She confirmed.

“Oh, new boss?”

“Who doesn’t seem to be such a big fan of The Flash.” She explained with a frown and a grimace.

“Why not?” Whenever Barry heard of someone who didn’t like The Flash he tried not to take it personally – he really, really did. Except it was totally personal and he kind of wanted to sulk about why someone didn’t like him. Cuz most of the city did, he thought a little smugly.

“I don’t know. Either he’s got some personal issue or he just thinks The Flash not being the hero is a juicer story. I’ll handle it.” She leaned her head back against the couch and he looked at her. She looked relaxed next to him, like she was happy to be right here with him. He sighed under his breath. It hadn’t even been a day and he knew he was already spending too much time with the Earth 2 doppelgangers of himself and Iris. He was thinking things he had no right to think and that weren’t going to get him anywhere.  
She was looking at him, her head still back against the sofa cushions but tilted towards him.

“I’m glad you’re home.” She told him quietly and Barry felt it in every part of him, completely ignoring his own lecture to try to stop thinking things he shouldn’t.

“Told you I would be.” He replied as he let his head rest back against the cushions too, mirroring her.

“Yeah, you did.” She gave this tiny smile where her mouth just perked and she looked at him with those bright eyes of hers. Fuck.

“West-Allens, I’m home.” Joe entered the house. He noticed Iris shift and sit up straighter as a response to her dad coming in.

“Have you been talking to Cisco?” Barry asked him, questioning his word choice.

“No, why?” Joe looked at like him with enough cluelessness that Barry believed him. He wasn’t sure what was worse. His friends and family conspiring to wind him up or the fact they were all coming to the same conclusions by themselves.

“…no reason.” Barry replied, turning back around and facing ahead of him.

“Where are the other you’s?” Joe asked as he hung his coat up.

“Showering.” Barry and Iris said at the same time. Silence followed, from everyone and Barry felt every micro part of those seconds.

“I didn’t need to know that.” Joe finally said heading over to the couch.

“I’ll uh, I’ll go see if they’re okay, give Iris some clothes.” Iris said getting up from the sofa. She grabbed the bag she’d left as she went upstairs.

When Barry turned towards Joe he was already looking at him. “What?” Barry asked him. Joe made an obvious face, gesturing towards the stairs Iris had just gone up.

“Don’t.” he warned Joe.

“Didn’t say a word.” His surrogate father replied with a smile stretching on his face.


	8. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to get another chapter done tonight so I'm posting it. But I do think the next chapter may also be another Iris POV instead of a Barry one.

“Uh, guys? Iris? Barry?” Iris called as she carefully walked up the stairs and moved through the landing. Part of her wanted to walk with her hand over her eyes in case she saw who knows what, but she figured surely there were making a bigger deal about the couple being upstairs by themselves than it was due. It wasn’t like they were having sex or something…oh god. No, she was being ridiculous.

“Guys?” she tried again. “It’s Iris. I brought clothes?” she said to the open space.

Barry’s face popped out of Barry’s room, pretty much just his head peeking out the door. “Hi Iris! We’re in here. Come in, come in!” then disappeared back inside. Oh-okay.

With more trepidation than she’d ever felt approaching Barry’s room she pushed on the door, knocking softly once more before entering. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey Iris.” Her doppelganger answered without looking at her. Iris opened the door all the way and fully entered the room, the scene not matching the awkward she’d set up in her head. No, instead it was cute, but of course it was cute. Were these two ever not cute?

Both of the pair stood side on from Iris’ eyeline. Earth 2 Barry was fully clothed, thankfully, though clearly in her Barry’s clothes and looking really quite unhappy about it. He was fidgeting. Her own doppelganger stood in front of her husband, close to him. She’d wrapped her hair in a hand-towel and her body was still in a towel from the shower, and maybe she was just waiting for Iris to bring clothes because she didn’t look freshly out the shower. Though looking at her, Iris realised she was glad she was the one that had come up to find them. It wasn’t like Barry had never seen her in a towel before but still she couldn’t help the feeling of relief that he wasn’t here witnessing this. Her doppelganger didn’t seem to mind that she was there when she was in a state of undress so Iris wasn’t going to make a thing of it either.

Earth 2 Barry was standing patiently for his wife and she seemed to try to talk him down.

“Can’t I at least wear my cardigan?” he said.

“The one you went through the woods in? That’s covered in muds and leaves?” Earth 2 Iris said playfully, smiling at her husband.

Even from the side, Iris saw Barry’s face look decidedly unpleasant at the thought of his muddy cardigan.

“I just feel so…unkempt.” He huffed.

“It’s fine, baby. Just be you.” Earth 2 Iris said caressing her husband’s cheek.

“Missing those bow-ties, huh?” Iris said, trying to make sure they didn’t forget she was there.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” He replied, then he stilled and turned towards her, “Oh, don’t tell Barry that. I’m very grateful for him lending me something to wear.” He said sincerely and there it was. The adorable. Iris smiled.

“Won’t say a word.” She assured. “And your wife is right, you’re fine like that. It’s just us.”

“Thank you, Iris.” He replied politely. Iris saw her doppelganger smiling up at her husband. Then he kissed the back her hand.

Iris walked past them and put her weekend bag on the bed – Barry’s bed. Barry’s bed that this couple were going to be sleeping in, apparently. Why had he even given them this room? She forced herself not to be distracted.

“Iris, I brought a mix of things for you. I didn’t really know what you’d want. I know the style seems different here than what you guys are used to. There’s some headscarves in there too.” Iris told her doppelganger, pointing at the bag.

“That’s great, thank you.” Earth 2 Iris replied.

“You’re welcome. If you guys want anything else we can always go shopping or something. May have to go a few towns over where nobody knows for sure that I nor Barry don’t have a twin, but we could do that.” She laughed. “Maybe even pick up some bow-ties.” She aimed at Earth 2 Barry.

“Oh! Really?” Earth 2 Barry said with an excited look on his face, his eyes wide. Iris had to stop herself from giggling. He was just so earnest. “I’d settle for a really nice shirt.” He added looking back and forth at both Iris’ like it was a negotiation.

Iris decided Barry and her dad could wait a little longer and that this might be the best time to tell them about Wally. At least they had some privacy to react this way.

“Can I talk to you guys about something?” she said. Both of them turned to her giving their attention.

“Is everything alright?” Earth 2 doppelganger asked her.

“Yeah, it’s not really bad news or anything. There was just something we kind of needed to tell you about. I…have a brother. And he doesn’t know about…any of this; he doesn’t know Barry’s The Flash or about…everything else.”

“You have a brother?” Earth 2 Iris asked her frowning. Guess that answered that question of if there was a Wally in their lives on Earth 2.

“Yeah. He’s a few years younger than me.”

“I’m sorry, how can he not know Barry’s The Flash? It seems like you have quite a large operation going on with a lot of people part of it. How has he remained unaware?”

“Well, he’s actually really recent in our lives. We didn’t know…about him.” She delivered carefully, looking at her Earth 2 doppelganger.

“So I might have a brother I don’t know about on Earth 2?” Detective West summed up pretty quickly. Earth 2 Barry placed his hand on her arm, holding her at her elbow, his wife still looked at Iris.

“Yes. I’m sorry to tell you like that. And I’m even more sorry that I can’t tell you what the situation will be on your world, if there is one. His name is Wally West. Maybe you could try and find him when you get back?” Iris said, hoping it was something.

Earth 2 Iris nodded, her emotions clearly in check, but Earth 2 Barry didn’t let go of her, looking down at her with concern and she didn’t pull away from him.

Iris saw her double click herself back into place, putting away what Iris had told her.

“So a brother? You guys get along?” Earth 2 Iris asked.

“Yeah, he’s great. We’re still getting there. I always wanted a little brother so,” she shrugged with a smile.

“And you didn’t have one growing up.” Her doppelganger replied, confusing Iris for a second. When she shifted to look at Earth 2 Barry he was looking slightly away, clearly not as confused by her doppelganger’s comment.

“No, like I said, we didn’t know… You’re talking about Barry. He told you.” She finally realised.

“About Nora and Henry, yes. I’m sorry about what happened to them.”

“What else did he tell you?” she asked them both. Earth 2 Barry looked down and actually turned the other way. His wife however just stared at Iris, not saying a word, a small apologetic shrug to her movement. “Seriously? Not to be biased here but I kinda thought you’d be Team Iris.” She partially joked.

“She is.” Earth 2 Barry commented dryly, making Iris frown. What did that mean?

Earth 2 Iris came over to her and started looking through the bag of clothes. “I don’t think he told us whatever he did so that we’d tell you. And I am not going to be messenger between you two. You should be talking to each other.” Her doppelganger told her bluntly.

“Are you…mad at us?” Iris asked a little shocked.

Earth 2 Iris sighed, dropping the top she was fingering onto the bed. And then she looked directly at Iris. “You’re wasting time.”

“Honey,” Earth 2 Barry said but she actually ignored him.

“Iris, your dad’s the detective in the family, right?” Earth 2 Iris asked unnecessarily. Iris nodded anyway. “And let me guess, he made sure you knew every single day how much he loved you – you and Barry both, I presume – in case he didn’t come home one day.”

“What does that…” Iris tried to ask.

“Your lives? Barry’s a superhero, right? That’s effectively what he is. He deals with danger most days. One day he may not get to come home. One day you may even be there when that happens. Iris, you are wasting time – both of you – and I don’t understand why.”

“It’s complicated.” Iris tried to defend, looking down at the bed.

“I’ve been told that, but I’m still unsure why it’s that complicated. What is he to you?” her doppelganger asked her outright. Iris felt a little sick.

“I’ll uh, I’m going to see if I can get my hair to do something of decency on this Earth.” Earth 2 Barry said, coming over towards them and giving his wife a kiss on the cheek that her doppelganger melted into it, gripping his arm before he pulled away again. Iris watched them from the corner of her eye. She walked over to Barry’s desk and grabbed some hair gel from a small box of his stuff. She tossed it at Earth 2 Barry who scrambled to catch it, but managed to clasp it in both hands awkwardly, his knees bent and his body tilted outwards in a really bad catch. It was almost enough to make her smile.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, pushing his glasses up. She was so thankful for those glasses because in those clothes he looked a whole lot more like her Barry. He left the room and left her alone with her doppelganger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I think the next chapter will most likely be another Iris POV - the rest of this scene, basically. I just felt it was getting quite intense I guess and it's where I stopped writing, so it felt right to break it up there.


	9. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said last chapter, another Iris POV to finish that last scene off. Back to Barry's POV next chapter but I don't think I'll be able to write another chapter today. I don't really have the time and this chapter was kind of exhausting to write. So I'd rather let some thoughts settle before doing another.
> 
> I still don't know how long this is going to be but I figure maybe now we're about halfway? I'm really not sure lol.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“He’s my best friend.” Iris said automatically as she let herself drop down onto the bed, trying not to look around the room. Barry’s bed, Barry’s clothes, Barry’s smell.

“That’s all? You don’t feel…more?” her doppelganger asked her. she trailed off, leaving the suggestion open.

Iris looked away trying not to get frustrated. This Iris standing in front of her had so much more than her on this subject. And it wasn’t fair. She didn’t want to feel put on the spot, pushed for answers she didn’t want to give and wasn’t ready for and that frankly, weren’t anybody else’s business, doppelganger or not.

“I’m not trying to be difficult.” Her doppelganger said, clearly reading her and effectively deflating her rising anger.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Iris said with a sigh.

“You don’t have to apologise. It’s weird. Like stupidly, ridiculously, how can this be real weird, I know. But whatever confusion you have over seeing us together? I have it over seeing you not be together.” Earth 2 Iris revealed honestly. Iris hadn’t thought for a second what that would be like that. The couple seemed so sure of their relationship – seeing other versions of themselves choosing not to be together? Iris could imagine how wrong that could feel.

“What made you take the risk?” she asked her doppelganger.

“The risk?” her own voice repeated.

“That it would be on your friendship.” Iris clarified.

“That’s what’s holding you back? What if it goes wrong and you lose him completely?” Earth 2 Iris asked her, looking down at Iris still sitting on the bed, giving Iris her attention.

“I’d lose everything,” Iris tried to explain. “Barry has been part of my family pretty much my whole life. And I don’t just mean the wider friends and family is what you make it, I mean us. It was just the three of us. In a house together – this house. Changing that…risking that… I can't do that to him. And what if we’re wrong? What if I hurt him? And god, he’s felt like he’s in love with me his most of his life. How can I possible live up to that in reality?” she voiced her concerns. It was one she’d had a lot when Barry first told her how he’d felt – how he’d always felt. How could she really be everything he’d thought she was? It was easier to choose the direction of Eddie. It wouldn’t cost as much, it wouldn’t hurt as much.

“You don’t believe he loves you?” her double asked her, a frown on her face that clearly showed she disagreed with her thinking.

“I don’t…I don’t know. No, I know Barry loves me, I know that he cares about me. But I don’t know if…us, is still what he wants. And making dreams a reality…how could I end up being anything other than a disappointment to him? And it’s not like he’d say anything if I was because he’s Barry; he’s sweet and good and kind and he’d never hurt me like that. So what if we get together and he realises it’s not what he actually wanted and he stays miserable and unfulfilled and all because –"

“Okay honey, breathe.” Her doppelganger cut her off with a hand on her arm, leaning forward closer to her. “We’re not exactly ramblers – that’s Barry’s thing and I think we should leave it for them because he’s cute as hell when he does it whereas this…” she trailed off and gestured at Iris in general as she stood back up. “I’m not sure about this right now.” Earth 2 Iris said with a bright smile.

Iris smiled a watery smile back at her, a silent laugh on her lips. She took a deep breath.

“I think this is the kind of thing you should be talking over with Barry – your Barry.” Earth 2 Iris told her.

“Isn’t that taking the risk itself?” Iris asked, quickly wiping away a couple of stray tears making their way down her cheek.

“Maybe, but don't you think you’re both making effort to avoid it anyway? Whatever is there…it’s there; it’s already affecting you. And yet you’re both still making each other a priority and you know how he feels and that didn’t ruin your relationship, did it?

“No, I guess not. For a while it was…difficult. But no, we’re still…us.” Iris answered thinking how they’d gotten back on track after last year, wondering if they actually were back on track, just pretending, or something else entirely.

“Do you trust him?” Her doppelganger asked her outright.

“Completely.” Iris answered automatically, didn’t even have to think about it. It was simple and it was truth. She trusted him jumping out a window and knowing he’d catch her, she trusted him to notice something was off about her day and ask and listen to her about it, she trusted him to come home to her after travelling to other Earth’s.

“Then _trust_ him.” Her doppelganger told her as if it was just as simple. Iris wondered if maybe part of it was. The Earth 2 pair just worked, so easily. It clearly was as simple as that for them; they loved each other.

Iris watched a little dazed as her doppelganger pulled out some underwear from the weekend bag she’d brought for her. Earth 2 Iris smoothed her thumb over the cup of a cream, silk-feeling bra, decided it was to her liking and put it on the bed next to Iris.

“Iris, I’m not trying to pressure you,” Her doppelganger continued. “This isn’t my life, but the idea of not being with my Barry? That terrifies me.” Earth 2 Iris said and Iris could see the flicker of the scenario touching her double’s face. It clearly unsettled her. “That’s not – that’s not life. I know the three of you are a family, but I think that's something that you should take advantage of. Your father raised you both, but you said you always wanted a brother, so that’s obviously not how you saw Barry, growing up together or not. Did your father raise you as siblings?”

“No.” she replied immediately.

She’d never thought about it really, not until Barry had told her how he felt. Barry has another father, another family. She didn’t ever feel like Barry’s sister – he was her best friend who had come to live with her and her dad because something terrible had happened to him. But she’d never known anybody else who had been in that situation; she didn’t know what was normal. She and Barry had many incidents growing up where ‘but we’re not brother and sister’ came out their mouths, correcting someone because everybody else always assumed of how their relationship was. She used to feel it was almost an insult to Barry; he had his parents and they shouldn’t have been forgotten. He’d always been her best friend. Her dad had always been ‘Joe’ to him. It was always ‘my dad’ from her when talking about him to Barry. Part of her had felt lucky that she had something so special at home – she got to live with her best friend. None of their other friends got that. Their sleep-overs never ended, there was no having to leave after dinner. And as they got older, she didn’t have to go to a friend’s house for gossip or for homework; she just went to Barry’s room. They didn’t have to leave places at different times; they had the same curfew and went home together. And when things sucked, Barry was already in the kitchen with ice cream, was ready to spend the day chilling on the couch with her. And she was able to be there for him easily when he needed distraction, when he was thinking about his parents. The word 'family' meant something different to her than it did to others; it had most of her life, because of Barry.

Iris looked away slightly, giving her doppelganger some privacy as she slipped underwear on under her towel. Iris found herself running her hand over Barry’s bed, just watching her hand over the material. She’d been in this bed plenty of times too. When she was cold or it was late but she still wanted to talk. Barry always threatened to boot her out but he never did. He'd complain that she took up too much of the covers, but never took his back from her. She wondered now how difficult that had been for him, those situations where she was in his space so much. She’d even sat on this bed and helped him choose an outfit for a date. She’d helped pack his stuff for college, as he had for her. And when he’d come back from college she’d helped him choose more grown up décor, and he’d been with her as she picked her out own version of grown up bedding. She hadn’t been there to help him move back home last year though, instead moving her own stuff into Eddie’s. Everything had been different then.

“It was difficult to have Barry and my father not get along.” Earth 2 Iris distracted her from her thoughts. Her doppelganger was shimmying into a pair of black, casual pants Iris had put in the bag. Standing in front of Iris in pants and a bra, her doppelganger turned her attention back on Iris. “But not for a second did either of them make it impossible to love them both. And not for a second did their dislike for each other make me question how much they loved me. If anything,” she continued looking past Iris now, seemingly in her own head. “Seeing them try or just dealing with it for the sake of me – because it mattered to me – helped me handle it. Neither made me choose.” She refocused on Iris. “And I always, always made sure they knew how I felt about them both. Because I didn’t know what I was going to face at work and I could not leave the world with either of them not knowing how much they meant to me.” Iris watched her doppelganger look away quickly, her eyes shining. She sniffed quietly and Iris saw her pull herself back together as she had earlier when she’d told them about Wally. A lick of her lips and her swallowing was the only thing giving away any upset.

“Is there someone else?” her doppelganger asked her, resetting the flow of conversation.

“There was.” She told her double.

“Do you love the someone else more?” was Earth 2 Iris’ follow up. She fastened the weekend bag Iris had brought, closing it.

“No.” Iris said automatically. And thinking about it, the word ‘better’ came to mind when thinking about loving Barry, even the love she knew she felt now, before she’d even gotten to explore what else she could feel. She loved him better. She was made for it. She’d been doing it her whole life.

“Think about what you want. Don’t just base it on what you think Barry needs from you. Simple: what do you want? Figure that out.” Earth 2 Iris advised, picking up the top she’d put down on the bed earlier.

“Talk to Barry.” Her double continued. “He’s your best friend who knows you better than anyone? Then be that. Try to figure it out. Tell him what you’re worried about. Give him something he can work with. Because right now that man is cluelessly walking on eggshells. He’s just as confused about how to move forward as you are.”

Iris watched her doppelganger pull a black turtle-neck over her head. It had a zipper on the back and her doppelganger used the unzipped state of garment to avoid her hair.

“Talk to him. You won’t lose him.” Earth 2 Iris said, pulling the top into place over her body. “And Iris?” her doppelganger leaned over and put her hand on her arm again. “It will be the best thing you ever do, I promise.” She told her sincerely. If ever there was a situation of giving yourself a pep-talk, this was it. Earth 2 Iris and Barry had been brave enough. Was she?

“Now zip me up.” Her doppelganger ordered, turning her back on her. Iris laughed quietly, standing up from Barry’s bed and doing what she was told, zipping up the top for her doppelganger.

When Earth 2 Iris turned back around she looked at Iris and then brought her hand up to her face and wiped under Iris’ eyes with the tips of her index fingers, using her thumb rubbing away any leftover make up that her tears had smudged.

“I need to get Barry – my Barry.” Her doppelganger said, talking a step back. “He’s probably sitting on the side of the bathtub waiting for us to give him the okay.” she said with a smile and Iris could see the love on her face.

“Really?” Iris asked her double, amused at the image created.

“Oh, I know my husband.” Earth 2 Iris said with raised eyebrows and a slight smirk.

They both looked at the bedroom door at the same time, signalling their agreement to go check if Earth 2 Iris did indeed have it right. They walked through the hall to the bathroom. 

“Baby?” her doppelganger called as they pushed the unlocked door open.

Earth 2 Barry looked up at that from his place on the side of the tub. His knees were together, his feet spread though. He had a bottle of shampoo in his hand that Iris was pretty sure was an old brand she used to use. “Pomegranate!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t notice it earlier.” Then his face cleared and he looked at them seriously, fumbling to drop the shampoo back on the other side of the bath. Iris noticed his wedding ring glint under the bright light of the bathroom and suddenly she couldn’t stop looking at it. That was how Barry’s hand looked with a wedding ring. A wedding ring an Iris West had put on him.

“Sorry,” he said leaning back up to his sitting position. “Everything okay?” he asked them both.

“Everything’s fine, baby.” Earth 2 Iris reassured.

“Oh good.” He smiled at both of them, then his focus shifted to his wife. “You look nice.” He told Iris’ doppelganger, making both Iris’ smile. The Earth 2 Iris stepped further into the room and took her husband’s hand. He stood up from the side of the tub, standing next to his wife.

“Thanks, Barry.” Iris told him. The man had sat in a bathroom of a strange house while she’d basically commandeered his wife to tend her emotional drama. And he was smiling as sweetly as ever at her.

“You’re welcome, Iris.” He said.

“My dad’s home by the way. I’ll see you downstairs in a few.” Iris said with a smile aimed at her doppelganger who gave one back, giving them some time and also taking her own time to be alone just for the second it took to go downstairs. She saw Earth 2 Iris go straight for fixing any stray hairs of Earth 2 Barry’s as he talked animatedly to her, looking so content. That Iris really was enough for that Barry; there definitely wasn’t any disappointment or any shred of doubt there, not from either of them. Was she and her own Barry’s too complicated for that kind of simplicity? Had they already ruined their chance?

She headed back downstairs. Her dad and Barry were probably wondering what was taking so long, especially Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the first real in-depth look at Earth 2 Iris in my story! I hope you all like her.
> 
> I guess I'm quite interested in the switch of roles between the two pairings. That on Earth 2 Iris is the leader and the one that's in the field and Barry's the support, verses Barry being The Flash and Iris supporting that role on Earth 1. I just figure seeing the other side of it in the opposite pair would make some of them think about some things.


	10. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to get another chapter done so figured I'd post it. 
> 
> The following chapter may also end up being a Barry POV too. I hope that's okay.

“You know, I’ve already had this lecture from Cisco today.” Barry told Joe as his surrogate father continued looking at him from the corner of his eye.

“Hey, no lecture.” Joe raised his hands. “I’m just saying that I understand this might be difficult for you.” He added more carefully. Barry sighed, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs, one hand rubbing at his temple.

“Is it really still as obvious as it’s always been?” he said Joe.

“How you feel about Iris? No. It’s been less, recently. But Bear, it wasn’t that long ago you were telling me you couldn’t even think about trying something with Patty because she wasn’t Iris.”

“But I did try with Patty.” He tried to argue.

“Yeah, yeah you did. But you’ve always known those feelings aren’t gonna go away like that. Son, I’ve known you your whole life.” Joe said sympathetically and somehow it felt like last year, in his lab when Joe saw right through him; always had, apparently.

“I thought…I thought I’d at least accepted it – being with Iris – wasn’t ever going to be an option for me.” He confessed.

“And this brings it all back up.” Joe stated.

“This whole other life that I…” he trailed off with an exhale. “Joe, my mom’s alive there.” He told the older man.

“Oh, Bear.”

“And married to Iris? You should see them, Joe. They’re so happy together. I just…” Barry closed his eyes, trying to keep a hold on the emotion he could feel bubbling up.

“But No Flash. No Cisco, or Caitlin, or Wally? Things aren’t always that black and white. You know it’s not that easy - better than most you know that. Things will…work out. We’re all still here. Iris included.” Joe tried to assure him.

Barry nodded. “Yeah.” He said, staring forward at the fireplace.

“Iris mentioned Earth 2 is also missing a Joe west now too?” Joe said, surprising Barry.

“How does she know that?” he asked, looking up at Joe. “They must have told her.” Joe nodded in confirmation. “Is she okay?” he couldn’t imagine how she’d felt hearing that. She hadn’t shown she was upset though, had she? Had he missed something? He should have been the one to tell her.

“She’s fine. I got a better hug than usual,” Joe said with a smile. “But I think she’s more worried about how you are about it all. You doing okay?” Joe asked him.

Barry shook his head feeling his eyes start to tear up again.

“He was saving Iris – his Iris. Some…followers of Zoom attacked us. He jumped in the way of the firing-line, to save her. I wasn’t able to…” he trailed off. He could see Joseph West shot across the room of Jitterbugs, and Iris’ scream… He closed his eyes against it, opening them again and looking at Joe. “It’s…easier, to separate it all the longer the other Iris and Barry are here. That life feels less…like mine, now. And you’re right here,” Barry smiled a small smile at him.

“Not going anywhere.” Joe assured him. Barry nodded, trying to stop the tearing up becoming actual tears. “Got you lot I need to stop from doing stupid things; I gotta stick around.” He joked. “Come here.” Joe said, gesturing with a tilt of his head and open arms.

Barry got up and went willingly into a Joe West hug. Alive Joe West, his Joe West. Pulling away Joe clasped his arm. “It wasn’t your fault.” Joe told him. Barry nodded but he couldn’t say he completely agreed with Joe’s take.

“Hey how’s Caitlin doing?” Joe asked him, changing the subject.

“As well as she can be, I think. Cisco’s gonna stay with her a few days.” He told the older man.

“That’s good. She shouldn’t be alone. And hey, let them know they’re welcome any time if they wanna come over for dinner or what-have-you.” Joe offered.

“Thanks, Joe.” Barry said. He was grateful for this man and the compassion he spread through Barry’s life.

“Jay was a good man. He didn’t deserve that.” Joe added.

Barry looked down. “Yeah.” He agreed quietly.

 

\----------

 

Barry was seriously starting to get antsy. Joe had some papers he was going through on the kitchen table as he nursed a bottle of beer, seemingly not bothered by the fact that the three people upstairs had been up there forever.

“Do we have a black hole in this house I somehow never discovered?” Barry asked sarcastically.

Joe just moved his eyes to look at Barry, not even bothering to raise his head.

“They’ve been ages! What are they doing up there?” Barry said as he paced.

“Feeling nervous there, Bear?” Joe said, concentrating on his papers again.

He fell onto the couch and leaned his head back against the cushions letting out a deep sigh. What could they possibly be talking about for so long? What if the other Barry told Iris – his Iris – about the kiss with Earth 2 Iris? He didn’t think he was enough of a dick to but Barry did think the doppelganger may be obliviousness enough to say it without thinking. But then maybe he wasn’t being very fair; if there was one thing it seemed his doppelganger handled well, it was Iris West. Still, it had been ages since Iris went up to check on the Earth 2 pair.

He was starting to wonder just how wrong it would be to use his speed to run upstairs and see what was going on without any of them realising when he finally heard someone coming down the stairs, making him turn around almost at that super speed. It was Iris – his Iris, but she was by herself. When she saw him she actually stopped movement for a second, catching his eyes, before she broke eye contact and watched her step instead as she made her way down. She didn’t have the bag that she’d taken up with her. She didn’t look mad at him, at least.

“Everything alright, babygirl?” Joe asked Iris, again not even looking up from his papers as far as Barry could tell.

“Yeah, fine. I uh, warned them about Wally.” Iris told Joe with a sad smile.

“Oh,” he said, finally looking up and giving his full attention to his daughter. “And?”

Iris shook her head before she said anything. “They didn’t know about him. Iris is going to look into finding him when they get back to Earth 2.” Iris said with a small smile. Barry felt guilt in his gut. He hadn’t even thought, so busy consumed with thoughts of himself, and of Iris; thoughts of him and Iris.

“Guys, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think to…” he started to say.

“It’s fine, Barry. No real reason why you should have. It’s probably a similar situation over there. Hopefully they’ll get something together. Especially now they’ve lost their dad.” Joe said understandably.

Iris sat down next to him on the couch again.

“You okay?” he asked her, trying to search her face.

“I’m good.” She said with a smile but Barry wasn’t convinced. She almost looked like she’d been crying. Or maybe was about to.

“Are you sure? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Earth 2 Joe. I –“

“Barry, it’s okay. Are you okay? Did you…I mean, were you there?”

“Yes.” He told her.

She took his hand, linking their fingers together on the cushion between them. She smiled at him sympathetically. Then he watched her as she looked down at their hands. Her brow furrowed the tiniest amount and he hated that he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Before he could ask her again what was wrong, she raised her eyes to his again.

“I was thinking, it’s a bit…intense, here – do you want to stay at mine tonight? I mean…you gave your room away,” she joked. “I just thought – you don’t have to.” She quickly added. She was nervous, Barry realised. Iris was rarely nervous; he was the nervous one.

He knew logically he probably should decline; if anything he should be taking a step back from Iris right now until he could stop showing the whole world – the whole multiverse – exactly what he was feeling. With the other Earth 2 Iris and Barry here he didn’t think he was going to be able to do that. And he should be taking responsibility for them. He was the one who brought them here, he couldn’t just leave them to entertain themselves. But he was tired, and he was stressed and he could feel the failure and responsibility and loss that licked at him. And the idea of just being with Iris, without anybody else, without having to watch what he was saying, without having to work around everybody else and he could just be, in her space with only the expectation of being himself – he wanted it. The idea of just being with his best friend sounded pretty perfect. And maybe she needed him too; he'd be there for her.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I know you probably have stuff you need to deal with.” She said before he could reply and he pulled their joined hands onto his lap.

“Iris,” he said, “Yes, I’d love to stay at yours tonight.” He told her.

“Yeah?” a smile on her face, her eyes brightening.

“Yeah. Thank you. It has…been a very long day.”

She nodded at him, a smile still on her face.

“Well that’s something.” Joe said with a dazed tone, interrupting their moment. Barry realised Earth 2 Iris and Barry were coming down the stairs. Together. Hand in hand. And they were both in his and Iris’ clothes.

Thankfully, his doppelganger opened his mouth. “Joseph! I mean, sir. I mean, Detective…West?” he said looking at his wife, the other Detective West, with a slightly unsettled look on his face.

And thank god for Earth 1 Joe West, because it was the most out of sorts Earth 2 Iris that Barry had seen since she’d been here. She stared at Joe as he moved towards them, but not too close, at they couple hit the bottom step.

“Hey, you two!” Joe said to them with his big smile.

“Hello!” Earth 2 Barry met Joe’s smile with one of his own, bowing his head in greeting and then looking at his wife immediately afterwards. Joe followed his movement.

“I heard about what happened to your dad, Iris. I’m really sorry, sweetheart.” He told her.

“Thanks.” She said quietly as she looked at him. “And thanks for letting us stay here.”

“No problem. Whatever you need, just let us know.” He told them. “I like your glasses, son.” he added, talking to Earth 2 Barry.

Earth 2 Barry’s face perked up, his head almost raising like a meerkat, his response was so physical. “Thank you, sir!”

“Joe’s good.” He told them. “Come on in. Can we get you something? Beer?” he offered.

If Earth 2 Barry wasn’t still holding onto his wife’s hand Barry was sure he’d be literally trailing after Joe right now as the older man headed to the kitchen. He was saying something to Joe about how he only really needed his glasses for reading but he liked them.

“I have waiting for hours to see that.” Iris whispered next to him. “His face.” She said with a pout he interpreted as her thinking Earth 2 Barry was like a cute puppy. “Why didn’t their Joe like him?” she then asked him.

“Uh, apparently he blamed Barry for Iris being a detective.” He said. Iris frowned at him, confused of the link. “I guess Barry went for his PhD at the same time Iris found her career and for Earth 2 Joseph West, that meant she had to work for her ‘selfish husbands’ education.” He said, remembering the look of disdain on Earth 2 Joe’s face as he looked at Barry. But then he also remembered the hospital, and him asking if he was okay, telling him to look after his daughter. Barry hoped Earth 2 Iris had told her husband that. He was sure she had; they didn’t seem to keep much back from each other.

“That’s so sad.” Iris said. And then her face shifted. “Wait, he’s Dr. Barry Allen?” she asked as she turned back towards Earth 2 Barry with a look of new appreciation for his doppelganger.

“Only because his wife paid for him to do his PhD!” he argued without much thought but to say it quietly so the others wouldn’t hear. Iris looked at him, raised an eyebrow at him. “I…didn’t say that.” He said apologetically.

“Ah-huh.” She said, a smirk now sitting on her lips. “Don’t worry, you’re still my favourite Barry…even if you are competing with a Doctor.”

“He’s not an actual Doctor, you know.” He continued being an absolute idiot – and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted to challenge her high praise of his doppelganger.

“You gonna tell Dr. Wells that?” she quipped back.

“Yeah, I can’t win this one.” Barry sighed. Then Iris laughed, and like a complete sap in love, he felt like he’d won anyway.

“Guys? Is there an…Eddie Thawne, on your earth?” Iris asked the full room. Guilt and disappointment replaced that happiness and he tried not to shift uncomfortably and show it. Was that why she’d maybe looked upset? Is that why she was nervous? She was building up to ask about Eddie. Of course she still thought about him, that made sense – Barry still thought about Eddie sometimes, about the fact that he felt like he’d failed him, like he’d taken something away from both Eddie and Iris by not finding another way to defeat Wells, that Eddie had been a better man that Barry. And he thought about what it would have been like if Iris and Eddie had never gotten together, if maybe Eddie had never been the new guy, if it would have changed anything for him and Iris – and he hated himself for thinking those last thoughts, piling onto the guilt he already had.

“Eddie was my partner.” Earth 2 Iris told everybody.

“Was?” Joe asked. Barry was sure he could feel everyone of Earth 1 in the room hold their breaths as they waited to hear about what had happened to Earth 2 Eddie Thawne and if it was anything like what had happened on this Earth. Surely it couldn’t be, but bad things could happen to cops, even without time-travelling, long-distanced family members dickheads causing it.

“He transferred out the area.” Iris explained, to the relief that Barry was sure he feel from Iris.

“Eddie! I miss Eddie. I trusted him to watch your back so much more than Lawton.” Earth 2 Barry said and Barry found himself agreeing with that.

“Why’d he transfer?” Iris asked the couple.

“His wife got pregnant, they wanted to be nearer family.” Earth 2 Iris expanded the story. A wife? A pregnant wife? So Eddie had found someone else. Barry looked at Iris sitting next to him, trying to read her. She had a tiny, soft smile on her face and Barry didn’t know what to make of it. Just happy that Earth 2 Eddie was happy? That he was alive? The fact that Earth 2 Eddie Thawne clearly hadn’t gotten in the way of Earth 2 Barry and Iris having their happily ever after made Barry’s shameful thoughts come right back up, but then maybe this proved it wasn’t about Eddie, it was never about Eddie, maybe it was just that they were wrong. Maybe that he was wrong, because he still loved Iris West, even if she didn’t feel it back. He was starting to regret saying he’d go stay at Iris’ tonight. What if she wanted to talk about this? About Eddie. But looking at her, Barry knew he’d listen if she did want to talk about Eddie. He would be there for. He would be her best friend, and happily. However much – however little, of Iris West he could have, he would take. And he was lucky, because he was her best friend too. She had chosen him in some sense, if not in every sense like he had her. But it was enough.

“She’s great too! Honey, we haven’t seen them in such a long time. We should have them over for dinner when we get back.” Earth 2 Barry said enthusiastically.

“Are you gonna cook?” Earth 2 Iris teased her husband.

“I will, yeah. I’ll do a Grandma Ester recipe, to Joseph’s standards.” Earth 2 Barry said looking down at his wife with love. She looked back at him gratefully.

“I can help with that!” Joe added to the conversation. “What’d you think? Chicken tonight?”

“Noodle.” Both Iris’ said at the same time, in the same tone. Barry saw them smile at each other, making him and his own doppelganger smile too.

“Grandma Ester’s noodles it is! Bear, would you…” Joe said as he picked up a sheet of paper and started writing ingredients down.

Used to it, Barry got up ready to go do some speed shopping.

“Do you need some help?” Earth 2 Barry asked.

“Thanks, but I got it. Just be a second.” He said as Joe handed him the list, then speeding away to get the required food.

“Wow, that really is back in a flash isn’t it. Flash, get it…” Earth 2 Barry joked as Barry put the bags of food on the kitchen table. His doppelganger looked at the non-laughing faces around him and stopped talking, looking down awkwardly. Earth 2 Iris kissed his cheek and he perked up automatically, briefly gripping her arm before the two started unloading the groceries as if they were in their own home.

“So I hear you’re a cop.” Joe said to Earth 2 Iris. “Yeah, we’re gonna need to have a word about that.” He said half joking. The doppelganger laughed, tucking herself into her husband’s side as he wrapped an arm around her, a smile of his own on his face. Barry saw her wipe a tear away, turning her head towards her husband’s chest. Joe rubbed her arm as he moved past them to help with the groceries. Barry looked at Iris who was still on the couch, catching her eye and smiling himself in response to the proud one she wore as she also took in the display between the three in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to say, I'm not going to be exploring Jay/Zoom in any real way. I've had the others mentioning Caitlin so much specifically because I'm not going to be writing about it but obviously they would be worried about her.


	11. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a real life thing that unfortunately needs a lot of my attention just now, so this is all I could do today and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write tomorrow. I'm hoping to get at least something done tomorrow but I'm not sure how much.
> 
> Thanks so much for all the comments! It's awesome that so many people seem to be enjoying this.

“He never stops touching her.” Iris said quietly next to him. They’d kept their seats on the couch, somehow naturally deciding to regulate themselves to this area away from the others. They’d been watching as Joe taught Earth 2 Barry the recipe with Earth 2 Iris in the kitchen. His doppelganger seemed ridiculously happy, listening attentively to everything Joe said, mirroring his action, nodding and continually pushing his glasses up awkwardly with his wrist. Sometimes Earth 2 Iris would do it for him, sliding the glasses into place and looking at him fondly. But for how focused his doppelganger was on Joe and his instructions, somehow he always included his wife in what he was doing.

“What?” he replied.

“You haven’t noticed? He’s always touching her. Like he can’t not. Like it’s… I dunno.” She trailed off as she looked back at their married doppelgangers.

“Like he can only find his grounding in her? Yeah, I’ve noticed.” He said almost numbly. Of course he’d noticed. Even with food all over his hands the man would use his elbow to nudge his wife, or press his hip against her if she was standing next to him. He’d wipe his hands clean just to put a hand on her shoulder as he walked past her chair where she kept sitting to enjoy watching her Barry with this Joe, or to monitor them, or maybe both, Barry thought with some amusement. Barry had even witnessed him playfully put his foot out in a mock kick, to which Earth 2 Iris had mock-scowled at him. At least, it seemed like a non-serious one with that smirk on her face that Barry thought seemed similar to the look she had given him in corridor of Earth 2’s CCDP. He’d looked over at his Iris and wondered if he’d ever seen it on her face directed at him and looked away from all them when he didn’t think he had. He remembered how she’d looked at him on the day he had redone, when he’d accidently gone back in time. On this very couch when she looked at him so openly when he asked her outright who was right for him if Linda, with all her awesome traits, wasn’t. When she’d stopped him and demanded his attention on the waterfront as she told him how she felt, that she was thinking about him as much as he had always thought about her. The times he’d taken away. The times that technically, never actually happened.

But that look of open, easy want for him? He didn’t think he’d seen that. Earth 2 Barry was open in his affection and Iris – his Iris – was noticing it. Seemed to consider it as something significant enough that she was paying attention to it, that she was thinking about it. Should he be more like what his doppelganger was? Sometimes he didn’t think he could be more like that. His day had included commentary from two of the most important people in his life about how obvious it was he was in love with this woman, that he apparently couldn’t hide it, even when he’d try to lock it away. And he knew from experience that Iris didn’t respond well to the pressure of his feelings put on her when she wasn’t in a place ready for it. So what kind of middle ground was he was supposed to be finding?

Because he wanted to touch her like Earth 2 Barry touched his Iris. He wanted to be able to wrap his arm around her and have her curl into him. He wanted to be able to just take her hand when it wasn’t a comfort or a reassurance because something bad had happened or was being discussed – but just because he wanted her hand in his. He wanted to just kiss her, because he was allowed, because she knew how he felt and welcomed it and felt it back, because she wanted to kiss him; he wanted to be together with her.

“Barry.” Iris said, pulling him out of his thoughts – about her, so often about her. He turned to look at her, giving her his focus. She wasn’t watching the couple in the kitchen now, she was just paying attention to him. And she knew something was wrong because she had a small frown on her face, a dip of her brows and her mouth was pulled down in a way he wanted to kiss away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him. She briefly looked back at the others in the kitchen before turning back to him. “You’re not…you’re not jealous, are you? Barry, you know my dad isn’t going to replace you, right?” she said with a smile that held a bit of a joke as well as reassurance. How could she read him so right but so wrong at the same time? Yes he was jealous he wanted to shout, but not of the sorta father and son-in-law duo in the kitchen. How could she not understand how much he thought about her? How much of him came back to her? She was witnessing his double in the kitchen displaying the same thing so much, she had commented on it. Earth 2 Barry always touching his Iris, because it always ended up being about her; there was no point to anything without her. How could she not translate it to him too? Was it because she didn’t share what her doppelganger felt so she figured he couldn’t either? Did she really have no idea? And if she didn’t, was it because she didn’t want to know or because of something else?

“Barry.” She repeated, her frown deeper now, her tone more urgent.

Without really thinking about it he found himself bringing his hand up to her face, slightly caressing her cheek with the back of his knuckles as he gently tucked some of her hair behind her ear. He kept his hand there, almost going to cup her cheek. She was looking at him with bright, wide eyes now and he wanted – he just wanted.

“Iris.” He heard come out of his mouth, his voice almost breaking on her name, because her name alone was enough to do it. Barry felt every part of those seconds, his mind wouldn’t shut up. But he let his hand drop from her, because what was he planning on doing? Telling her he desperately loved her – still? Telling her that he promised to touch her like their doppelgangers if it was what she wanted if she’d only say it was what she wanted, if only she’d give them a chance? Kissing her? There was three other people – their Earth 2 selves and her father literally feet away from them. Was that a moment he’d imagined, these surroundings? No. And what if it went wrong? Was she going to walk out the door like she had in Jitters? Would he just push her away even more when they had finally gotten their relationship to such a good place again? Would it put another wall between then when he didn’t think he could handle being away from her like that again? And what the hell was he going to say to the others if any of that did happen? Witnesses to his fuck up and embarrassment wasn’t something he wanted on any level, but the three specifically that would see it? That would know his pain more than anybody else other than Iris herself? No.

“Sorry, I’m just tired.” He said. He wanted to say nothing was wrong, but he couldn’t – he couldn’t lie to her, not again. He couldn’t do back to that dynamic between them. But he was tired. Emotionally and physically he was exhausted, and confused and overwhelmed.

She looked at him like she didn’t exactly believe him, but maybe she had similar thoughts as him about their current situation, sitting on the couch as the others hopefully ignored whatever moment was being had between the two of them right now, and that it wasn’t an ideal situation, because she let it drop too. She didn’t push him. She just looked at him with worried glances.

“Well you can get some rest at mine later, yeah? I’ll even let you have at least 40% of the blankets.” She said with a smile but Barry saw the force behind it and he hated that she was having to make up for his emotion by forcing her own. Especially when it seemed she didn’t even know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a little heavy maybe, and I know a lot of people really want Barry and Iris at Iris' place like now lol, but I really liked this chapter, so I hope you like it too.


	12. Iris POV

“Captain Singh was a criminal?” Iris asked with a laugh, trying to picture the well-controlled, righteous man she knew, being the bad guy on Earth 2.

“One with some attitude.” Barry said. “Wasn’t as bad as Dr. Henry Hewitt working at STAR Labs though. And he was the first doppelganger we saw! Actually no, I can top it. Mayor. Snart.” He said dramatically, gesturing the name like it was written in the air or something.

“What?” Iris laughed again. “No way.”

“That better be a joke.” Her dad said, pushing his plate away.

“Nope.” Barry said with a shake of the head and a smug smirk, popping the ‘p’.

“Leonard Snart is mayor of Central City?” Her dad said still looking like he refused to accept any reality existed.

“Mayor Snart is a very respected man.” Earth 2 Barry added, his eyes innocent as ever.

“Yeah he’s been really supportive of CCPD. He cares about the citizens more than most mayors and leaders do.” Earth 2 Iris said, backing her husband’s opinion.

“Well he did always call Central City ‘home’.” Barry concluded. Iris saw Earth 2 Barry nod in agreement as if it was something he’d learned too.

“So he’s…good?” Iris checked.

“We’ve never suspected him of anything. His sister always runs his campaigns. She’s pretty formidable too.” Her doppelganger answered, making the three Earth 1 occupants give smirks and smiles at the image presented.

“Hey dad, why don’t you take Iris to work tomorrow? She can see what the place is like compared to her own?” Iris said as she looked to both her dad and doppelganger for approval of her idea.

“Yeah?” her dad said, also looking back and forth between her and her doppelganger.

“Yeah, it’s not like anybody is going to be suspicious of seeing Iris West there. And I’ll stay away so nobody sees two of us.” She justified.

“Yeah, that sounds good if you’re up for it, Iris.” Her dad said turning to Earth 2 Iris.

“Yeah that would be great. Thanks. I’d like to see what it looks like.” Her doppelganger said with a smile.

“It’s pretty similar. I thought it was cool seeing the one on Earth 2.” Barry added.

“Actually Bear, Singh was looking for you today.” Her dad told Barry.

“Of course he was.” Barry said dully.

“I held him off but, you know…” her dad trailed off, leaving the obvious suggestion unsaid.

“Wanna pretend to be me tomorrow?” Barry asked his doppelganger. Earth 2 Barry’s eyes got wide in a way Iris was getting used to, but still found cute, as he looked at everybody at the table.

“Really?” Earth 2 Barry said.  
“Well, yeah, actually.” Barry said as he thought it through. “I was kind of joking but…you could do the job, so why not, yeah.”

“Wait, you’re a CSI too?” Iris asked Earth 2 Barry.

“Oh, yes. Yes I am. I guess that’s another thing the same here.” Earth 2 Barry concluded.

“Huh. It’s funny you guys' jobs are the same,” she said gesturing to both Barry’s, “but we’re not.” she finished as she gestured to herself and her doppelganger.

“Investigative reporter and a detective? Pretty similar in approach. Passion for finding truth and justice.” Barry said.

“I’m not an investigative reporter.” Iris denied.

“Iris, I have literally caught you as you jumped out of a story-building window as you were getting shot at in your quest to try and find out a story about a bunch of bad guys. Official. title or not, you’re an investigative reporter.” Barry concluded.

“I’m still not happy that you somehow were able to find a career where you still get shot at, you know.” Her dad commented.

“I did an internship at CCPN.” Earth 2 Iris said, surprising her. Maybe they did have more in common in careers than she thought then. “My father actually used to wish I’d stayed there, thinking I’d be safer.” She added. Earth 2 Barry put his hand over hers that was leaning on the table.

“It’s an Iris West trait to look for the danger and unearth corruption. I’m not sure there’s any getting away from it – I’m finally accepting.” Her father said. Iris saw everyone at the table smile gratefully the same way she did. “I’m not sure how I managed to end up with kids that all want to put themselves in danger in order to help people. Wally’s definitely pushing that trait too.”

“Yeah, not sure where on earth we could have learned that from.” Iris aimed at her dad sarcastically.

“Nah, that’s all you lot naturally.” Her dad said.

“Whatever you say, Joe.” Barry said with a smile.

“Well son, you are welcome to come with me tomorrow too.” Her dad said to Earth 2 Barry. His face got all proud in response to the ‘son’. “You may have to deal with Captain’s Singh’s talk-down for Barry though.” He warned.

“I’ll deal with that.” Barry interrupted. “I’ll just make to speed away before anybody realises there’s two of us at any one time. Should be fine.” Iris watched his reaction, trying to figure out how he felt about Earth 2 Barry. She was worrying she maybe shouldn’t have suggested her doppelganger going with her dad tomorrow if it was going to upset Barry. She wasn’t sure exactly why his doppelganger was getting to him. It wasn’t really like Barry to feel threatened. There was no way anybody who had ever witnessed her dad and Barry thought anyone could take the place of Barry in her dad’s life, even if it was someone who shared the same face and name. She was worried about why he was thinking that, if if that was what was wrong with him. Barry’s nature was to give, and to share; he welcomed and included people. So for him to have an issue with her dad being so welcoming to Earth 2 Barry was throwing her. She was worried about why he could be feeling so low, so insecure to be upset about it. He carried responsibility like nobody she’d ever met, and she knew Jay’s death was weighing on him like so much else did, but she didn’t understand why it was manifesting this way. And she didn’t know what the best thing she could to help him was.

“Are you don’t mind? I would like to see the place.” Earth 2 Barry asked her Barry. Iris searched Barry’s reaction for some kind of answer to how he was feeling.

“No man, go for it. There isn’t anything of priority we’re working on now, right?” Barry asked her dad who shook his head no in response. “Cisco told me we have the same lab so, you know.” Barry continued with a smile and a wave of his hand.

Iris couldn’t see any specific rejection over his doppelganger literally taking his place at work, so was there anything there at all? He’d seemed so vulnerable earlier and she wasn’t sure why. She’d unintentionally set up a take your son to work day that replaced Barry and she hoped she hadn’t added to his upset. He’d said he was tired, and he did seem somewhat out of sorts. And he’d been right before, it really had been a long day and she hadn’t had to fight Zoom and travel to another Earth.

“Might need to pocket those glasses of yours.” Her dad told Earth 2 Barry as he started clearing the plates. Earth 2 Barry immediately pushed his chair back and helped him, taking his and his wife’s plates. Iris herself took her own and Barry’s, helping.

“Oh, that’s no problem. I can see without them for the most part.” Earth 2 Barry said.

“Sure you can handle going to work without a bow-tie?” Iris said with a smile, nudging Earth 2 Barry as she put the plates down on the kitchen counter with him.

“Oh a bow-tie man, Barry?” her dad asked.

“Yes,” Earth 2 Barry said with a smile and a dip of his head. “I do have a penchant for them, yes.” He said.

“Gonna have to step up your game, Bear. Those sweaters aren’t gonna do it.” Her dad said to Barry across the kitchen.

“Oh no, no bow-ties for me. I had flashbacks to prom trying to tie that thing.” Barry said, confusing Iris.

“Hey, you were the one insisted on a self-tie one.” Her dad added, still talking to Barry.

“Actually, Iris was the one that suggested it would be more impressive.” Barry defended.

“Oh, that’s how it was, was it?” Her dad said with a smirk.

“And I was right! You looked very handsome at prom.” She said with a bright smile, leaning against the counter.

“It came undone like, a million times.” Barry complained.

“And that was even more dashing!” she said, thinking back to that night.

“You okay, Bear? You’re looking a little outta it.” Her dad distracted her from her thoughts as everyone looked over at Barry.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” He said as he leaned his elbows on the table, his head resting on his hands and hiding his face. He rubbed over his eyes and brows with the heels of his palms. Iris noticed her doppelganger watching him opposite him at the table. Iris saw Barry notice the looks of Earth 2 Iris too. He looked at her doppelganger as he lowered his hands back down, raising his head. Iris couldn’t tell what either of the two were thinking and she wasn’t sure she liked it, either. She hadn’t exactly had a chance to think about what Earth 2 Iris had said. She wanted to try to talk to Barry, wanted to try to start the conversation, somehow. That’s all she knew right now. That maybe if they could just be in a room, just them, without the pressure of everything else, they could find peace if nothing else.

“Actually dad, after dessert we’re gonna head off to mine. Figured we’d give you guys the room. That okay?” She said, trying to give Barry the out, to show him she was aware that he wasn’t exactly okay. Her dad stopped half-way getting the ice cream out of the freezer and looked at both her and Barry in turn, his face neutral but Iris could tell he was thinking something and she was pretty she could guess what and silently begged him not to make a thing of it. Barry wasn’t even looking at her dad, instead had his head faced down and his arms crossed over his torso, his back against his seat at the table like he was almost slumped in it.

“Sure, sweetheart, whatever you two want.” Her dad told her and Iris partly told herself she was imagining it because of where her own thoughts were, but his comment seemed a little direct; a little pushy in his hints.

“Just call me if you need me, Joe.” Barry added in a different tone, quieter.

“I’m sure we can all get through one night without The Flash.” Her dad said.

“Same for you guys,” Barry said as he looked at Earth 2 Iris and turned to include Earth 2 Barry. “Just call – Joe will give you my number,” he said and Iris saw her dad nod his agreement as he went about dishing out ice cream into bowls. Earth 2 Barry opened the correct drawer and carefully counted out 5 spoons. “I’ll be there in a second if something’s wrong.” Barry finished.

“Thanks, Barry. I’m sure we’ll be fine though.” Earth 2 Iris said.

“Got me taking them to work to look forward to!” Her dad said cheerfully, then nudged his head towards the table suggesting Iris and Earth 2 Barry sit down again. Iris went easily with Earth 2 Barry hesitating somewhat like he wasn’t sure if his help was still wanted, but he seemed to take direction from her, sitting himself back down next to her doppelganger, giving his wife a quick kiss.

“You two probably should probably tone down the kissing at the station though. It is a bunch of cops we’re talking about here; I think they might notice the overnight difference.” Her add commented.

“Oh, right.” Earth 2 Barry said almost dazed and with what Iris thought was the first real frown she’d seen from him. By what Iris had witnessed all night, she would guess he was in some distress about how to not kiss his wife in front of the whole world.

“You’ll have privacy in Barry’s lab.” Iris tried to comfort. She felt guilty. Like her non-what-is-it-relationship status with Barry somehow made hassle for their Earth 2 doppelgangers. But they’d both been so friendly to her, supportive and encouraging, that she did want to help. Apparently in this instance, that meant suggesting somewhere to go where they could make out. She hadn’t expected her life to be this when she’d gotten up this morning, even with how crazy it could sometimes be already.

Barry didn’t say a word and Iris wondered if she’d maybe gone and opened her mouth again when she shouldn’t have, suggesting something that was upsetting for him. Maybe he didn’t want their doppelgangers getting all coupley in his lab. And it was his lab; she didn’t have the right to offer it up in any way.

“Yeah, Captain Singh is the only one likely to bother you there, and he’ll just criticise you for not working hard enough.” Barry said from her side with a chuckle. And with that, Iris was back to not knowing what was going on. Was it really just that he was tired? Did Barry with his powers even get that tired?

“For my independent, truth-seeking girls,” her dad said as he placed ice cream in front of both Iris’ with a flourish. “And for the geniuses of the family.” He said doing the same for both Barry’s. For all the thoughts in Iris’ head, seeing Earth 2 Barry’s face react to both ice cream and her dad being so welcoming of him was pretty wonderful – it got even better when Iris was sure her Barry was smiling about it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barry wore those glasses for ages on Earth 2. There is no way they're a strong prescription lol.
> 
> And yes, Iris' place is coming next and it will be back to Barry's POV.


	13. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky number 13?
> 
> This chapter is quite long but there wasn't anywhere I thought there could a break.

As soon as he closed the door of the West household Barry took a deep breath, closing his eyes and enjoying the cool air of the night. The freshness of it. And the silence. It wasn’t even that loud inside the house but just the act of standing outside in the open and in the dark gave some real solace. He’d known what the others were thinking as soon as Iris told them all he was staying at hers tonight. He was worried part of the reactions he saw were sympathy for him, like they all knew how close to the edge he was right now and that an invitation to stay at Iris’ could push him over it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He opened his eyes to Iris looking at him worriedly. Her eyes pretty much sparkled under the street lights.

“Just a…really, really long day.” He said slowly, a small smile on his face. “Thanks for letting me crash at yours tonight.” He told her as he stood on the porch with his hands in his jacket pocket, the bag of clothes and a toothbrush that he’d grabbed over his shoulder.

“No problem. I know it’s all, well, a lot.” She said with a quiet, cut laugh.

“I just… Jay and Zoom – I didn’t stop him, Iris. I just ran away. Left a whole world defenceless to him. I even took their best police team.” He laughed without humour.

“You brought them here to be safe. If you and the others couldn’t defeat Zoom yet then he would have killed them, Barry. You know he would have. You had to bring them here. It was the right thing.”

“And everybody else on Earth 2?” he asked. Iris looked down and he knew it was hitting, that she recognised that there was an entire Earth now unprotected that he would destroy as he wanted.

“We’ll figure it out.” She said strongly, looking at him again. “It’s what we do, right? It’s what you do, Barry. We’ll work it out, and you’ll stop him.” He told him steadily, her eyes driving it into him. She believed in him, and he believed her.

He nodded at her, giving into her.

“I was gonna suggest we walked but uh,” a smile started showing on her face, “I’m kinda sleepy from the food and long day and stuff so, come on. Get to it.” She gestured at his full body, a swish of her hand indicating movement.

“Ohhh, I see. That’s why you invited me over. I’m your ride!” her laughed.

“With perks!” she said quickly, like it was a justification.

“Perks?” he asked, a grin on his face.

“Well, you are faster than ever Uber could ever be, you’re free and you deliver me like, right inside my living room. That’s a service a girl could get used to.” She told him smiling.

“Maybe I should start charging then.” He argued.

“What, me or all the other girls? Cuz surely I get a special rate, at bare minimum."

“What other girls?” he said automatically, then stilled when he realised what he said, and when he’d said to before; when he’d said it before to her. Both of their grins fell away and Iris was looking at him with her head slightly tilted down. She lifted her eyes to look up at him. And she smiled with this really sweet, small smile at him. Like she was enjoying the secrets she and him – she and him as The Flash – had had.

“Is that…still a thing?” she said quietly, only directly looking at him once she’d said it. And Barry wanted to use every ability of his speed in this moment. To savour the way she was looking at him, to remember the feeling of hope and possibility it gave him, the thrill starting to run through him, to take the time to analyse exactly what she could be was implying in case he was wrong.

“Yes.” He breathed, hoping it was the right thing to do. She dipped her head even lower but Barry saw the sudden smile on her face that she then controlled.

“Sooo…are we going then?” she turned her body side on, her shoulder gesturing for them to move forwards and a playful smile on her face.

Barry decided he could match that. Without any further warning he picked her up and ran through Central City until he got to Iris’ place. He always only ran with when there was danger. He’d take the liberty a couple of times of bringing her up and down to Jitters rooftop when he didn’t really need to, but it had been so brief, even for him, and it wasn’t as a full them, as Iris and Barry who also just happened to be The Flash. This was different. And he felt the difference, the pure enjoyment of it. He let himself them into her apartment using her keys and put her down in her living room, as she’d said before.

When she became aware of her new surroundings, taking a look around her apartment, she started grinning, letting out of a breathless laugh when she looked back at him.

“I’ve never told you this before but I really like you do that. It’s fun!” she told him, smiling brightly at him.

“Right inside your living room.” He said with a grin repeating her earlier words, using his hand to gesture around the room.

“Very impressive, Barry Allen.” She said with mock-seriousness.

“I live to serve you, Iris West.” He said back, equalling her tone, except he must not have gotten it right because she looked at him like he had said it with sincerity and he thought about the fact that it was kind of true. He brought his hand to his neck, unsure how to get through the new moment he hadn’t intended to spark. It wasn’t like people said that to other people – and he was pretty sure if they did, no one was responding favourably to it. But that small smile was back on her face as she took off her shoes and hung up her coat.

She sank onto her couch sideways, tucking her legs underneath her and resting her head on the back cushions. Then she frowned as she looked at the couch. “I feel like we’ve had quite a lot of couch time today.” She said with a confused smile, shaking her head.

He dropped his bag by the side and let his body fall onto the couch next to her. “I am not complaining about that.” He exhaled, lifting his feet onto the coffee table in front of them, stretching his legs out.

“Hey! Feet off my coffee table! I eat here.” She said flicking his thigh. “At least your shoes. You run all over the city in them; you ran to literally other Earths in them! Off!” she ordered him, shoving her foot against his leg and making him laugh and do what he was told. He took his shoes off and placed them by the door next to her boots, then repositioned himself back on her couch. He folded one leg underneath him at an angle and turned his body towards hers.

“Are you okay?” he asked her.

“Me? Yeah, why’d you ask?” she replied.

“I just…” he shrugged a little. “I know you weren’t expecting…today.” He tried to explain.

“You mean our married doppelgangers?” she said bluntly, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Yeah.” He replied.

“I like them.” She said easily. “They’re so happy.”

“Yeah, they really are.” He agreed. He still couldn’t help thinking if that could still be them, one day. If it was still a possibility. “Anything else getting to you?” he asked her, thinking about how she’d been through the day.

“What are you asking me, Barry?” she asked directly.

“You asked about Eddie on Earth 2. I just thought… I mean, are you thinking…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders forward, leaving it for her to answer.

“I was just curious. Sometimes…” she moved on the couch and settled again. “I know it was always going to happen because of Wells – original Wells. But sometimes I wonder if he’d still be alive if I hadn’t…” she stopped talking as she looked ahead at nothing.

“It’s not your fault.” He told her. She looked down to her lap then, her hand brushing the material of her outfit thoughtlessly.

“I know – I do.” She replied. “But I still made choices that were maybe…the wrong ones. And Earth 2 Barry and Iris? He was her partner at work, they’re friends with him. He had a wife and a kid, maybe multiple kids – everything he wanted.” Barry stopped himself from saying ‘not everything’. “It’s nice. It feels…right, you know? Like how it was maybe supposed to be. It’s just nice that there’s a reality where…we all got it right. Where Barry Allen – sorry, Dr. Barry Allen,” she said grinning at him, a nod of her head towards him as if she was giving into something, “Gets really excited about making Eddie Thawne and his wife dinner.” She said more seriously.

“I think a lot of that has to do with Iris West of his life.” He said.

“Well obviously!” she joked with a lack of humility that made him smile. “But that’s kind of the point, you know? It’s just…it’s just nice. A nice image – a nice life, that really exists. It’s oddly comforting.”

Barry nodded as he watched her, trying to understand exactly what she was thinking. He'd thought about the scenario Earth 2 had ended up with multiples times before, if it would have ever have been theirs. Cuz he had been friends with Eddie even on this Earth. Would they have all been friends here if he and Iris – if he'd told her how he felt earlier?

“Did you know about them before you went to Earth 2? Did Dr. Wells tell you?” she asked as she turned towards him, pulling him from his thoughts.

“No. No, I had no idea. I was as shocked as you, believe me. We saw Barry doing a broadcast about Zoom. That’s how we find out about him and that he was a CSI like me. He mentioned the CCPD being under the leadership of ‘Detective West’”. he told her.

“And you guessed it was my dad.” She assumed.

“Yep.” He confirmed.

She laughed. “So how did they react did you? How did you even convince them to help you? Did you just go up to them and say hi, you were a doppelganger from another world and could they do you a favour?” she smiled at the ridiculousness of it but Barry felt his stomach start to drop. Because how was he was supposed to tell her how it really happened? How was he supposed to tell her without lying to her? He’d already been thinking tonight that he couldn’t do that again. And he didn’t know if she’d forgive him again if she did. Running with her was so good because she knew – now she knew. It mattered.

He could see her hurt and betrayal at him having lied to her about being The Flash, her accusation l that he was supposed to be her best friend and him trying to make her understand even though he knew that when it came down to it, he had lied to her, had chosen not to tell her, and it that simple and that confusing for her because she didn’t understand how those two things – how being her best and lying to her, could go together. And maybe things would have been different if he hadn’t. Maybe everything would be different if he hadn’t held back his feelings for her. If in those the moments that he kept thinking we’re happening, where he was feeling like maybe there was a chance for them – if those moments were real, were ever going to be anything except just moments, he had to make this choice the right one. Because he knew he couldn’t redo it and it would cause a hurt he couldn’t just fix, not if he’d done it again after how much he knew it hurt her last time. And if nothing else, he respected her too much to lie to her when he knew what it did to her, what it did to them. And simply, he didn’t want to lie to her. He wanted to tell her everything, wanted to share everything with her.

“Barry, what?” she asked him, looking worried again – worried for him, he thought resentfully, angry at himself for somehow always getting himself into these situations. He sat up straight on the couch, still turned towards her.

“Iris, I don’t want to lie to you.” He told her. And her face changed, going from worried about him to cautious. He saw her start to withdraw, her walls start to go up and he just hoped it would be okay. He just hoped that whatever she was thinking was so much worse than what he had to tell her. He thought surely it must be – Earth 2 Iris and Barry didn’t seem to have a problem with him, so surely that was reflective of something. But he was having so much trouble reading her lately, and the married couple didn’t have previous burn of him lying to her, and he wasn’t something that meant enough to hurt them. He honestly didn’t know how she’d react to what happened on Earth 2.

“Then don’t.” she said fiercely, defensively. She looked scared and though he hated seeing that look on her face, he knew it meant it was right to tell her. Because if just the idea of him lying to her about anything had her reacting like that, he had to respect it, and do everything he could to prevent her ever feeling like that again. 

“On Earth 2, I…I impersonated Earth 2 Barry. I didn’t introduce myself, I didn’t ask them for help.” He started.

Some of her fear started to leave her expression, but she still kept her body tightly away from his.

“Impersonated? Like…” she shook her head.

“Like I kidnapped, knocked out and tied up Barry and took his place in his life?” he said regretfully.

She took a breath and unfolded her body, sitting forward instead, her palms flat against her thighs.

“Okay. Uh, his life, meaning his job and his…” she tried to connect with what he was telling her, her voice like she was giving a factual description of something, like she was listing the details of a story she was working on.

“Marriage.” He finished for her. There were multiple times in his life that he and Iris had finished each other’s sentences. He hated this time.

“Barry, what exactly are you trying to tell me?” she asked, finally looking at him again. 

“I kissed Earth 2 Iris. Or, she – she kissed me.” He told her.

“Which is it?” she asked quickly, sternly.

“She kissed me, thinking I was her Barry.” He admitted.

“And you didn’t stop her.” She stated.

“I was kind of shocked. She was calling us husband and wife and I…I was so caught up in finding out about that life. I didn't know.” He tried to explain.

“Did you do anything else with her?” she continued asking, still looking at him.

“No! No, Iris, I wouldn’t do that. And I didn’t initiate any of it.” He told her. He was thinking about his earlier thoughts when he had given his doppelganger some clothes and decided against giving Iris’ doppelganger some of his too, about how it felt wrong, how it would be a first that didn’t belong to that Iris, but would belong to his, and that he only wanted his Iris to experience and he experience of only her, if he was lucky enough to. He obviously wouldn’t have done anything else with her regardless of who she was, but it being Iris – but not his Iris – there was just no way he would have. If he ever got to be with her, really with her, he wanted to truly be so.

“How many?” she asked him.

“What?” he asked confused.

“How many kisses?” she cleared. She was still in reporter mode…or girlfriend mode? Because it was what it felt like. Like he’d confessed to his girlfriend.

“Uh, two…three, technically. Two happened at the same…time.” He said, frowning.

She stood up then, turning her back on him as she put her hands on her hips and hung her head.

“Iris?” he tried.

“I don’t know how I feel about that.” She said. “Does Barry know?” she asked him.

“Yes. He uh, had a word with me about it, actually. Said I couldn’t go around kissing other people’s wives and telling them that I…” he trailed off and she turned around and stared at him, not missing anything.

“Love them?” she guessed, raising her eyebrows and staring down at him.

“She said it, thinking I was him. I said it…back. Iris, it wasn’t like… Cisco was standing right there.” He tried to explain.

Somehow for a reason he didn’t understand, that seemed to make it worse, her shoulders slumped and she looked away from him again. He got up too.

“Iris…I just saw you.” Feeling like he was putting his heart out there as much as he could, his feelings. For her.

“Except it wasn’t me.” She rebuffed. He hung his head at that because he didn’t know what to say. No, it really wasn’t her. But at the time, before he knew anything else, before he knew Earth 2 Iris and Barry as real people, before he’d talked to them as himself, before they’d seen his life here…he just saw his Iris West. It was that simple, and that complicated. And he saw the possibilities of what he could have with her, what kind of life maybe was somehow possible in some way, in some other reality. It had felt like an incredible, surreal dream. But he’d only seen the woman who was standing in front of him now.

“So,” she sniffed, “Do I get to kiss Earth 2 Barry three times to even the score or something?” she scoffed, laughing without humour.

“Please, don’t.” he said quietly. Because the thought of it…it was bad enough someone else could have her when he couldn’t, but for her to choose someone who was but wasn’t him, who had so much of who he was but not all of him, wasn’t his pain and his love, wasn’t part of the journey he’d had with Iris – their story together – it brought bile in his stomach that he didn’t expect. It was stupid. He knew Iris wasn’t actually being serious and he knew neither Earth 2 Iris or Barry would ever allow it – the situation was never going to happen, but still, the thought of it alone… He felt it.

“I’m sorry,” he told her honestly, because for whatever those moments on Earth 2 meant at the time – it was all about her for him, but it wasn’t her. This was her standing in front of him now upset. That moment of happiness at the dream of him being married and living his life with Iris West – Iris West Allen – his Iris, it wasn’t worth this. It couldn’t ever be worth this. “It didn’t mean… I know it’s not...,” he sighed, didn’t know what to say to her. “I’m just sorry.”

“We should sleep.” She said determinedly.

“Iris,” he tried.

“I’m not mad at you.” She said quickly in a manner that he knew from experience meant it wasn’t what she was – or wasn’t in this case – but what she was trying to be – or not to be; she was mad, but she didn't want to be, then she sighed. “At least I don’t think I am. And I don’t even really have a right to be mad anyway, so…” she threw up her hands and shook her head, her hands smacking against her thighs as she let them drop back down.

“I told you because I wanted to be honest with you. You can be that with me too, Iris. You can feel however you feel. I’m not going to…” he trailed off and tried again. “Whatever you feel,” he told her, taking a breath “or don’t feel,” he said, it costing him something to put out there. “You can tell me, and I’m not going to tell you can’t feel that way.”  
She stared at him and he stood still for her, letting her see whatever she needed to see in him.

“Can we just go to bed, please.” she said.

“I can leave, if you want – “ he said, trying to give her something, trying not to push her, to give her space if it’s what she wanted.

“No.” she cut him off. “You’re staying.” She said strongly and he thought back to only an hour ago when he told he jokingly told her he lived to serve her, because somehow her demanding that he was staying here with her brought some of the life back to him that her upset had drained away. He was quiet in front of her, waiting for her lead.

“I’m getting ready for bed.” She told him, going into her bedroom and coming out soon after with in some pyjama shorts and a loose sweater. She walked past him to the bathroom and made a point of shutting the door.

Barry sighed, holding his head in his hands and rubbing at his temples before moving his hands towards the back of his neck, shaking his head. It was the right thing, he knew it was. And she wasn’t yelling at him, hadn’t kicked him out. And she hadn’t told him he was a creep for letting the whole thing happen in the first place. So it could be a lot worse, right? He sped through changing his clothes, wearing some thin sweats and a t-shirt. Then he just waited for her.

When she came back out she briefly looked at him before looking away again and made her way to her bedroom, not shutting that door at least. He stood there like an idiot for a second, unsure about what was the best thing to do. He wanted to speed through brushing his teeth but figured maybe she might like the space of him taking the real time it took.

Once done, he stood at the doorway of her bedroom. She was under the covers already.

“Iris?” he called carefully. Her main light was off, her bedside lamp the only light in the room.

“Can you turn the living room light off?” was all she said. Her tone wasn’t cold, or overly polite – he wasn’t sure anybody could hear the distance except him, but he knew her; he heard it.

“I can sleep on the couch.” He offered quietly, still standing at the doorway, facing her in her bed. And she finally looked at him again, like she was thinking about it, like she was questioning him thinking about him. Barry watched her go to say something, and then stop herself and he wanted to cry. That wasn’t Iris. She knew what she wanted to say, what was right to say and she said it – that was Iris. She wasn’t like him, rambling away trying to get one thought out. She shifted until she was sitting up, her arms over her knees that remained under the blankets.

“Do you want to leave?” she asked him, looking at him.

“No.” he answered.

“Do you want to sleep on the couch?” she continued.

“No.” he repeated, shaking his head.

“Then get in.” she said simply, sliding herself back down. And he was right back to thinking this seemed like a fight with a girlfriend scenario. Had fights with Iris always seemed like that? But he couldn’t do anything about it standing at her bedroom door. And he didn’t want to push her, had already decided he wouldn’t. And he was still exhausted from today. He still just wanted to be with her, to just rest with her, if he could. Maybe she needed that from him too? He wasn’t sure.

Living room – and all other – lights turned off, he made his way to her bed. She was lying on her back but her head turned away from him. He mirrored her for the most part, lying on his back too but staring up at the ceiling. When she reached over and turned the bedside table light off, it didn’t feel like earlier outside the West house – when he cherished the quiet and the dark, standing there with Iris. Now it felt forced, and tense, and like somehow he could do something that could fuck everything up even more. Then he felt her hand move towards his between them. She didn’t turn her head his direction, but her hand covered his and he gripped it back, linking the fingers together and feeling something uncurl itself inside him, like he could breathe again.

He kept her hand in his but turned on his side towards her, looking at her in the dark. Using his other hand he ran his fingers down her arm, over her sweater, until he reached the skin of her wrist, where their hands linked. He did it again, and again. He was thinking about her noticing their doppelgangers constantly touching, and how much he wanted to be that way with her.

“Tickles.” She said quietly, making him cease his movements. “I didn’t say stop.” She added, and Barry was thankful for the dark that would hide his smirk. Taking the risk, he pulled her sweater sleeve up more, exposing more of arm, and started trailing his fingertips down the same path without the material of her sweater in the way now. She let out this tiny whimper as his fingers moved against her and he smirked even more, trying not to grin. He then felt her exhale, seeming to relax some and he felt himself relax with her. He could fix this – he knew he could, and he would. He couldn’t not – they couldn’t not.

“You should get some sleep, Barry. I know how tired you are.” She said almost kindly, like she was still worrying about him.

“I will.” He assured but honestly, he was pretty sure he could stay awake and do this all night if she’d let him. Cuz he was getting to touch her, even when she was mad at him, just because they both wanted to. Because it brought them both comfort and peace and because he was allowed to. It wasn’t wrapping his arm around her in front of everyone or kissing her, but he was holding her hand – she had taken his, and he was stroking her skin. Maybe even if they never got to have what their doppelgangers had, maybe they could at least have things like this, because it wasn’t nothing. For Barry in this moment, a bit ruined and in love, this was kind of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been quite a few chapters and a decent amount of words but remember it's only been a day for them. They can wait a little longer.


	14. Barry POV

The first thing Barry became aware of was the warmth surrounding him, how relaxed and sure he felt from it. Then quickly following was the smell that he recognised as Iris West; Iris West’s space. A mix of her perfume and her detergent. Sweet and floral, fresh and soothing. A smell he associated very closely with ‘home’. And then he became conscious of the body he was pressed against. He didn’t know her this intimately – feeling her so close – but he did know her. His own body made its state known almost immediately after, breaking any contentment he was feeling at waking up wrapped around Iris West – he was hard. He was waking up with morning wood as he was pressed against Iris’ back, his face tucked into her shoulder and hair, his dick snugly against her ass through his sweats. Oh god, of course this would happen to him. He'd woken up with a hard-on around her before, but not with it literally pressing against her.

He tensed up and slowed his breathing, squeezing his eyes shut and bidding his body to reject its morning responses, but it was pretty much impossible to do when he was essentially living out part of a fantasy he’d had most of his life. His arm was around her waist, settled on her hip and their legs tangled together, one of his between hers. Briefly he thought about just speeding away. She maybe wouldn’t even wake up and if she did, she wouldn’t realise at least why, but somehow it felt wrong to do that. Deal with it like a typical man in a seriously embarrassing position in front of the love of his life. Okay, he could do that.

Thankful it was still dark, he carefully pulled his leg from hers, slowly dragging it back into his space of the bed. Now able to put more weight on both legs, he tensed up, raised his hips slightly off the bed and delicately tried to back that part of his body away from her. He left his arm around her, his head on the same place of the pillow directly behind her and his chest still pressed against her, hoping maybe it would negate some of the loss her body might feel at his movement, hoping it would help her stay asleep through him trying to deal with this nightmare.

He was almost at the point where his crotch was away from her when she shifted back, making him still in place, fully pressed against her again.

“S’okay. Stay.” She mumbled and oh god, was this worse? Did she know it was him?

He held his breath, waiting for something, anything. Her to fall asleep again, her to tell him to get his hard-on away from her, to laugh it off, anything that told him how he was supposed to behave here. He shifted in tiny moments, trying to slide away without just sliding away.

“Barry.” She said clearer than before. At least she knew it was him. Thank god. “Stop. Fidgeting.” She told him sternly. He immediately obeyed. But he couldn’t relax, couldn’t move now at all. His body was still tensed up. He heard her let her out a breath.

“It’s early, go back to sleep.” She said softly, her voice sounding like she somehow was relaxed and he envied it. She lifted her arm, picking up his hand that still lay on her hip and pulling it fully around her, the length of his body pressing against hers even more as a result. He felt himself against her, hard and wanting. He could _feel_ her. She didn’t show any reaction it was bothersome for her, she didn’t show any reaction it was even happening and he wondered if she just didn’t want to embarrass him.

“Barry?” She whispered, and he waited, didn’t think he could say anything right now. “Thanks for telling me.” She said even quieter, making his heart feel lighter than it had. He was grateful, and relieved for her validating that he had been right to tell her everything the night before. Knowing it mattered to her, that she wasn’t angry enough at them that it’d ruined them. And maybe he couldn’t really trust himself to speak right now, but he couldn’t do anything, couldn’t not acknowledge it. Risking it, he gripped her where his arm now lay around her, pulling her to him and holding her. He tucked his leg back behind hers, Iris easily letting him and covering his leg with her own. He buried his face into her neck, closing his eyes and just breathing her, that smell that he’d woken up recognising so quickly. He tried to ignore his morning biology, taking her lead on it.

She let out another sigh, her body exhaling and relaxing as she put her arm over his, locking his around her body. He followed her on that too. He let his body relax, realising he didn’t know if he’d ever have this again. She wanted him there, he was going to be there, with her. He wanted to press kisses on her neck, to tell her he loved her. It was weird for something to feel so perfect when he knew it was still missing those things he yearned for, but it did feel perfect. She felt perfect, against him, perfect with him. Here in her bed, warm and in love, wrapped around her, her holding onto him too.

He let himself have what he’d been wanting last night. Just being in her space, just them, finding his ground through her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next one will most likely end up being a Barry POV too. I just wanted to get something posted and this felt like it could be by itself.


	15. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's actually turned out an Iris POV, and a little longer than I thought it would be. I just wanted to check in with her. This isn't her main reaction chapter, but I thought she was due something for now and this is how it came out.

She’d wanted to see what it would be like to wake up with him. To see a part of the life their doppelgangers had, to see what something of that relationship would be like. To go to bed together, to wake up together, to start and end with each other. She wanted to know if she could do that, what it would feel like. Would it feel right, like it was how it should always be, or would it feel like a friend had stayed over? She’d wanted to know if she could measure her life by falling asleep and waking up with Barry. But staring at his sleeping face now, getting to so openly watch him be peaceful in sleep like the weight he carried wasn’t on him, she realised she’d always measured her life in some way with days beginning and ending with Barry Allen, just a little differently. Her life had started again when Barry came to live with her and her dad, when suddenly he was there every morning and every night. Breakfast at the kitchen table included smiles from Barry, sitting on the couch in their PJ’s and watching TV early weekend and summer mornings, going to school together, staying up late, sneaking back home after curfew. It hadn’t been unusual for them to brush their teeth together, one of them deciding to invade the space of the other and the other easily allowing it. Typically one of the last things she said at night for most of her life was goodnight to Barry, and hi to him in the morning.

When they’d both gone to college, when he wasn’t one of the first and last things she saw of her day anymore – that marked a change in her life too. The lack of Barry Allen at morning and night changed her life, made it something else. And when he’d moved into his apartment – and she’d moved into Eddie’s, they’d still spent mornings getting together. He’d come for coffee at Jitters or she’d go to CCPD to see him and her dad. Breakfast got replaced for morning coffees or catch ups, but he was still there.

Even as The Flash she’d somehow managed to continue it. Nights after dark, when everything else was quiet and asleep, she’d been standing with him. One of the last things she did before finishing her day. Writing about him, checking news and eyewitness reports about him – one of the first and last things she did in her day.

When he’d decided they needed space and shouldn’t see each other for a while – adjusting to that was difficult - impossible - and it hurt, because she felt the lack of him so viscerally – all day and in all ways, but especially in the mornings. He wasn’t there and he wasn’t allowing her to be there either. That wasn’t what her life was supposed to be, because Barry belonged in her day, in her mornings and nights – he always had, and he’s always been there.

This – this was just a different version. One that somehow felt new and thrilling, but so familiar. One that had her wanting to reach out and touch his skin, his cheek, brush her fingers against him, smooth over his eyebrows and trace his lips. She’d touched all those parts of him before, but she didn’t think she remembered it being with this kind of want, this kind of exploration driving her, that she felt running through her. She was excited by it, but also felt the peace that simply being in his arms had brought. It was new, like those first date butterflies, but she also felt confident enough to completely be herself, to pull his arm over her, to tell him to relax and go back to sleep – because it was Barry. He may be causing feelings of nervousness, of curiosity and confusion in her, but he also still made her feel safer than anything other than her dad had, he made her feel like she could be herself. And she felt like she already knew everything about him. She knew his humour, and his passion, she knew what foods he hated, his deepest pain, his ambitions. She knew his different smiles and how he cried, but she wanted to know how he kissed, what he looked like how he acted through a date, what his skin would feel like fully against hers, how he’d be with sex. And she thought she knew them, she knew their history and their adoration for each other, their inside jokes and joint embarrassments, but she wanted to know what they’d be like together. Would they touch all the time like their doppelgangers? Would Barry love her like that? Would she love him like that? Is that what they’d look like to those around them? Is that what they already looked like in some ways? And she wanted to know what he’d feel like, how he’d feel against her and what she could make him feel. She wanted to pull up his shirt, she wanted to run her hands up his chest, see if he was as warm as he felt right now. She wanted to know how his weight would feel on her and how well he’d sit in the cradle of her thighs.

She wanted to wake him up to see what he looked like, his reaction at seeing her, at them waking up together like this. To see if he wanted any of those things too, to see if that’s how he felt too. To start something new, together.

But then looking at him she remembered what he’d told her last night, about what had happened on Earth 2, with Earth 2 Iris. Maybe this wouldn’t be a first thing for him. Maybe he’d already experienced this. He’d said he hadn’t done anything else with her, but he also said he impersonated Earth 2 Barry’s life, his marriage, and he was gone overnight. So had he woken up like this with an Iris West already? One that already marked him as that role in her life – her partner, romantically, sexually - partner in everything.

She wanted a first. This was hers. Nobody else was taking it from her. She wouldn’t let it be another thing she didn’t get to have like she thought she did. Taking one a last, long look at him, forcing herself to ignore the temptation of touching his cheek, his neck, stopping herself from burrowing into his space and closing her eyes again, she pulled back the blankets and slid out of bed. She looked down at him briefly, both so sorry but so sure of her actions. She quietly gathered an outfit from her drawers and closet, leaving the room to get ready for the day. It was still earlier than she needed to be up, but she had to get up.

So maybe there wouldn’t be breakfast with him today, or coffee, but she’d still started her morning with him. The very first thing she thought of, she saw, and she felt. And she had gone to bed with him, his hand in hers and waking up with him wrapped around her. She hadn’t gotten the other half of going to bed and waking up with him, but what she’d gotten felt like she’d discovered a whole new world within her favourite place in the world. Like maybe getting to stay after close at the bowling alley and she was allowed to see behind the scenes, and she could dance on all the lanes, twirling around and laughing. Or like being on Jitters’ roof – where nobody else ever went or was allowed, when it was dark and secret and she could capture the air in her lungs, look at the stars and lights of the city, breathe and cry and she wouldn’t be judged. And she’d share both with Barry, because who else could it ever be? She just had to figure out how to take the final steps to get there.


	16. Barry POV

The next time Barry woke up he was still warm, and that smell of ‘home’ was still there, but he became aware of Iris’ absence even before remembering he was in her room. Opening his eyes he realised it was light now, though he had no idea what time it was, and he didn’t know why he was alone. He turned his head into the pillow, blocking out both the light and the loss.

“Hey.” Picking himself up and turning he faced Iris who was standing at the door. She was fully dressed and even had her jacket on and her work bag on her shoulder.

“Hey.” He replied unsurely, half-way between sitting up and lying down still.

“I need to get to work. You can stay, if you want. There’s food and…” she trailed off, licking her lips, her eyes shifting away from him and down. She gripped her the bottom of her bag strap. Barry didn’t know what he was supposed to do here.

“I can leave with you.” He told her, starting to push himself up.

“No, it’s fine.” She said quickly – too quickly, making him lean back on his elbow again. “I need to go in early.” Barry didn’t bother telling her he could be ready to go in the time it took her to blink – she already knew that and obviously it was an option she didn’t want.

“Can you lock up? I left my spare keys on the coffee table.” She said, driving disappointment into him. Maybe it didn’t call for that reaction – locking up after leaving was a pretty standard thing, and regardless of how it felt, this wasn’t a one night stand she was trying to dismiss. But she was running away from him and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do about that. He felt annoyance flame, which bothered him; Barry was very rarely annoyed at Iris in any manner. He nodded at her, keeping his head down.

“Pick me up for lunch?” she asked him, making him raise his head again and burning out any of the annoyance that was starting. She was staring at him with a small smile that Barry wanted to think was hopeful.

He sat there on her bed trying to figure out what was happening. He was sitting alone in Iris’ bed. Had been with her in this bed all night. Had held her, had felt her. He couldn’t be imagining all this, could he? Surely there was no way. He collapsed back, rubbing his hands over his eyes, settling them on his head. He thought about taking her up on her offer of sticking around her apartment, but it didn’t feel right without her being here. Had she been asking her best friend to stay, or…or something else? Without the answer, he couldn’t really settle. He decided he’d go to work early too. He could catch up on everything he’d missed while away and deal with Singh before Joe and Earth 2 Iris and Barry got there. But he did take the time to enjoy a shower. Equal parts turned on and guilty about it when he realised the tub and shower curtain were still wet from Iris taking her own shower right where he was standing, with the same body wash he was using.

 

\----------

 

He sped through CCPD to his lab, making sure nobody saw him so they wouldn’t be confused when Earth 2 Barry arrived. The place was pretty quiet anyway, the day shift people not yet in.

He got himself up to date with everything thanks to his speed-reading, all shut and dry cases.

“Allen!” It came predictably. Barry had made sure to put his jacket on quickly via his speed the second he’d heard him coming. He assumed anybody’s first thought upon seeing Earth 2 Barry in a different shirt later on would simply be that he’d changed for whatever reason – he didn’t think ‘doppelganger’ was going to be on the list of reasons why, if they even wondered if the first place. But Barry thought it would be best to make it easier this way.

“Captain.” He greeted back.

“Glad you see you here nice and early.” Singh said. Barry wondered if Singh’s doppelganger had his doppelganger husband. Barry hadn’t even noticed his own doppelganger’s wedding ring so he hadn’t been looking for it with Singh. He wondered if they were together on Earth 2, if maybe Rob was a criminal too, if he didn’t know Singh was, if he had waited for Singh to come back that day or if they hadn’t met. Maybe hadn’t met yet, or wouldn’t at all, especially now. Barry wondered if maybe the lack of Rob in Earth 2 Singh’s life was why Singh was a criminal there.

“You ever thought about wearing hats, sir?” he asked him, thinking about Earth 2 Singh tipping his hat at him and Earth 2 Iris.

“Excuse me?” His captain replied, a scowl on his face.

“Nothing, sir.” Barry dismissed.

“My husband says I suit them.” Singh finally said, looking slightly suspiciously at Barry. Barry chose to ignore that look.

“Did you always know?” Barry asked him instead.

“What are you going on about, Allen?” Singh asked him impatiently.

“That your husband was it for you?” Barry clarified.

“No, actually.” His Captain said as his body seemed to slump, relaxing some from the strict, business way he usually carried himself. “Our friends set us up. It went well but…I was too consumed with my career, with making it to the top. But we stayed friends.”

“What changed?” Barry asked.

“I realised I was thinking about him more than work; that work was getting in the way of my relationship with him and not the other way around. I wanted to be with him…all the time.” Singh told him, staring away from Barry at nothing, his face and tone both softening at the discussion of his love.

Barry nodded. Singh looked him up and down before he clasped a hand on his shoulder.

“She’ll work it out, Allen.” Singh said.

“Sir?” Barry asked. Seriously? Did everybody in Central City know how he felt about Iris?

“Make sure you catch up with everything you missed! You’re lucky we didn’t have a meta-human attack while you away.” Singh ordered as he left Barry’s lab. Back to that, then.

 

\----------

 

Time was ticking by so. damn. slowly. when Joe and Earth 2 Iris and Barry came into the lab. Earth 2 Iris seemed to clock him first, his doppelganger was looking around the lab with wide eyes. It was weird. For a second she looked like Iris – his Iris – like it was her. She was in Iris’ clothes and in his lab and he reacted before he really realised – reacted to ‘Iris’, but he quickly noticed her expression was harsher, more suspicious and on guard. Her stance followed suit, and a slower gait than his own Iris who would walk her way into his lab with casual confidence all the time. Earth 2 Iris took her time. Then there was the fact that she held herself away from Joe in a way his Iris never did, though he understood why that was. It was corny but this Iris didn’t exude the complete sunshine Barry felt about his Iris. And he still didn’t know what Earth 2 Iris felt about him – she hadn’t glared at him for a while, at least – but he was pretty sure he was as separate from his doppelganger to her as he was starting to count her compared to his Iris.

“Hey, Bear.” Joe said to him. He waved at the three of them from his chair, still feeling pretty distracted emotionally.

“You speak to Singh yet?” Joe asked him.

“Yep.” He told Joe. “Back to that professionally supportive dynamic we’ve always had.” He said sarcastically. Joe stood in front of him and looked him over. Barry kept his head down, pretending to focus on the piece of paper in front of him that he’d been tempted to make a paper airplane with, he was that restless.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Joe said after. Barry thought about trying to get out of it, that he was actually busy doing something, but he knew Joe wouldn’t buy it or give up.

“Yeah.” He said, twirling the seat a little as he got out of it to follow Joe. “I’ll be back in a sec.” he told the Earth 2 couple. His doppelganger looked at him.

“Oh, do you mind if I…?” he trailed off, gesturing towards Barry’s computer.

“Go for it.” He told him, grabbing his jacket on the way in case others say him. He followed Joe out of his lab.

“What’s up?” he asked Joe as they stood on the balcony of the upper level, looking down below. Barry leaned over the railing, avoiding Joe's eyes.

“Really? Look at you. What’s going on? Did something happen last night with Iris? Are you two fighting again?” Joe asked him.

“Joe,” he said, looking over at him briefly and giving a slight shake of his head, hoping he’d let it go.

“Hey, talk to me.” Joe said, looking at him concerned.

“It’s fine, okay. We’re…I dunno. But it’s…it’s ours to figure out. And no, we’re not fighting.” he told Joe.

Joe looked him up and down again, clearly deciding whether he was gonna keep pushing him or not. Part of Barry wanted to talk to Joe, to try and get some advice, figure out what Iris could be thinking, if Barry was imagining the progression between them, but mostly he just remembered Iris reacting to finding out there was stuff she didn’t know. The only person he really wanted to talk to about any of it was Iris herself. And he would in… 2 and a half hours, looking at his phone. Maybe 2, if he could get away with showing up at a prompt lunch time.

“You know I’m here for you both.” Joe told him, making Barry fully look at him.

“I know you are. Thank you.” Barry told him sincerely, because it did mean a lot to him. “But really, I’m fine. I’m hoping it will be better than fine.” Was the limit he’d go with hinting anything, for now at least. Joe seemed to pick up on both the hint of what he could mean and that that was all Barry was gonna say.

“Earth 2 Barry and Iris been okay?” he asked Joe.

“Yeah, all good. Barry and I made pancakes for Iris this morning.” Joe said with a grin, joining Barry in leaning on the rails. Barry smiled too, thinking about Joseph West on Earth 2 and his dislike for Barry’s doppelganger. He could imagine his doppelganger would have had a great time making pancakes with Joe for an Iris West.

“They’re good people.” Barry said.

“Course they are. They’re Iris West and Barry Allen.” Joe said, like it was simple. Barry raised his eyebrow thinking about Earth 2 Caitlin, Ronnie and Cisco – even Singh – but he didn’t say anything.

Joe clapped him on the arm as he went back downstairs. Barry stayed there for a while longer, watching the activity downstairs and just trying to pass the time, thinking about how this afternoon was going to go. Would it be awkward like this morning? Iris had asked him to come, so she wanted him there. Maybe they were going to go back to best friends like the last 24 hours hadn’t even happened.

As he strolled back to his lab he almost walked in on Earth 2 Iris and Barry seeming to have a private moment – at least one that Barry assumed Earth 2 Iris wouldn’t want anyone else to witness, anyway.

“I shouldn’t have come here, Barry.” Earth 2 Iris said with her hands on her hips.

“Iris,” His doppelganger said, coming up to stand next to his wife. Barry stilled his movements, stopping himself from taking a step forward, trying to decide if he should fully turn around and leave again or not.

“Zoom is probably holding our entire city captive – killing people, and I just left him to do it.” Earth 2 Iris said, cutting off his doppelganger. “I’m responsible for those civilians. I’m supposed to protect them. It’s my job. But instead I’m here in a life that is not mine.” She seemed to be working herself up, shaking her head and looking angrily around Barry’s lab as she shifted on her feet like she wanted to pace. Barry saw his doppelganger put his hands on his wife’s arms, holding her, stilling her upset as he lowered his head to look straight at her.

“You couldn’t have done more. You helped rescue Barry and Jessie from Zoom, but that made us a target. He could have created even more chaos just to get revenge for that, to get you. We’ll go back. But being here – we know something Zoom wants now, what part of his motive is. We didn’t know that before. We didn’t know he was after Barry. We should use that, work with Barry, and Dr. Wells to decide the best way to stop him for good. But we can’t do that if we’re dead.”

Barry saw Earth 2 Iris let out a big sigh, dropping her head.

“Joseph would have wanted you here, safe.” Earth 2 Barry continued.

“I couldn’t do this without you.” He heard Earth 2 Iris tell his doppelganger as she stared up at him.

“You’ll never have to. I’m your husband; my place is by your side.” His doppelganger assured her, cupping her cheek. “On any earth.” Earth 2 Barry added quieter. Barry finally fully turned away from the pair, positioning himself at the corner before his lab.

“I love you.” Barry heard Earth 2 Iris say.

“I love you.” His doppelganger immediately vowed back.

Barry rubbed at his temples with the heels of his palms, trying to figure out what he felt. Guilty at bringing them here, but he agreed with what his doppelganger had just told Earth 2 Barry – and what his Iris had told him when he’d had similar concerns the night before; it was right they were here, safer, and they could work together to defeat Zoom. And seeing the pair like that – he knew they were more than just his and Iris’ doppelgangers now. They weren’t them. They had their own nuances, their own story and history. But still seeing the image of them together, standing in his lab – and to hear them – only hear them and not see them as they told each other they loved each other – to not be able to see the differences in expression or body language between each pair of Barry Allen and Iris West – he’d never heard his Iris say that to him, not like that, to be so committed to him. So he couldn’t say he knew the difference between how Earth 2 Iris said it, and how his Iris would say it. He couldn’t separate it as easily.

Taking a breath he awkwardly turned back towards his lab, being as loud as he could in Converse. Entering through the doorway he cleared his throat a little, trying not to just openly stare at them.

“Sorry.” He said. Earth 2 Iris was held in the space of his doppelganger’s arms now but neither of them moved and Barry hoped that meant he hadn’t been wrong to interrupt, or that he’d embarrassed them.

“Hey, Barry.” His doppelganger smiled at him, still not taking his hands off his wife.

“I just wanted to let you know I’m heading off.” He said, gesturing his shoulder towards the door, his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, okay. Are you sure you don’t mind us being here?” Earth 2 Barry asked him.

“No, it’s cool. I’ll get alerted if they need me for anything so…” he trailed off with a shrug.

“Is Iris okay today?” Earth 2 Iris asked, making him wonder at the change of subject.

“Yeah, she’s at work. I’m actually meeting her for lunch a little later.” He told them. Earth 2 Iris stared at him and then gave a slow nod. It wasn’t glaring, so Barry figured he’d take it.

“Barry, I thought it might be sensible for us to talk more with Dr. Wells about things.” His doppelganger said, seemingly to reference what Barry had overheard them discuss.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He told them. “Actually, I have time to kill anyway. I think I might go over to STAR Labs, see what’s happening. I’ll tell him you guys will come by later?” he asked.

“That would be great, thanks.” Earth 2 Barry said.

“Okay, I’ll see you guys later.” He smiled at them and went to turn away and leave.

“Tell Iris hi.” Earth 2 Iris said with that stare again. Barry wasn’t sure Iris would really appreciate that message coming from him of all people at this time, but he accepted her request with another smile and nod.

Turning the corner out of his lab he overheard them again.

“Honey,” His doppelganger said.

“It’s annoying.” He heard Earth 2 Iris state back, like a defence. Barry kept walking, going down the stairs to say bye to Joe before running to STAR Labs. He didn’t think he wanted to know whatever it was she judging him for. He was too occupied trying to figure out what his own Iris was thinking about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this isn't about Barry - I'm really not trying to pile all this extra stuff on him, I promise. But I'm not going to do other POVs and I didn't think Earth 2 Iris would be that vulnerable with anybody else, but I wanted to try to cover that conversation from her. I think she would have trouble not being able to step up and fight, and with leaving her city without her protection. Again it's the role reversal thing because I think Barry would have the same issue. So I thought so canon lines would fit there, but reserved.
> 
> I rewatched Welcome to Earth 2 for this and Singh doesn't seem to have a wedding ring on, but what I noticed for the first time is that Earth 2 Barry is playing with his wedding ring during the news broadcast, which I thought was pretty interesting - and obvious, seeing as it's the first time we see him lol.


	17. Iris POV

She was driving herself nuts, or at least to complete distraction. All her thoughts and feelings contradicting and coming together in a way that she was sure was going to give her a major migraine. She couldn’t stop thinking about Barry. Waking up with him, leaving him in her bed. She’d wanted to know what it felt like to have something of that relationship, of that life that her doppelganger and Earth 2 Barry’s had made. Going to sleep together, waking up together. Except she couldn’t look at it that way and or try to enjoy it for what it was. Because now there was all this other stuff, constant drama that made her wonder if it was worth it when things kept working out – or not working out – as they did.

She felt sick when she thought about the fact that they all knew. Barry, Earth 2 Barry and Iris, Cisco for god sake. Her dad probably knew too. Everybody always knew Barry’s secrets before she did, even when they included her, even when they were about her. And it hurt. To not always be included, to be deliberately be excluded, to never be given the chance to work through it from the start, to have to catch up and just be expected to be okay with it. And she couldn’t show what she felt, the mix of what she felt because there was always something else that had to be dealt with. And to show how she was feeling about it all would make her the odd one out even more, because she was in a place no one else was because they’d had the time to work through what they thought.

All morning she argued with herself, rational verses emotional. Her doppelganger had encouraged her towards Barry, had listened to her, had tried to help her, but that had happened after Barry had kissed her. Iris had been that vulnerable with Earth 2 Iris, about Barry, when her doppelganger had this information over her. She knew Barry in a way Iris didn’t. Barry said he hadn’t kissed her back, but what does that mean? He was still in that kiss. So her doppelganger knew what Barry felt like, knew how Barry kissed – her Barry. Was he tender or passionate? Did he use his hands? Fingers through hair or cupping her cheek? Her doppelganger knew this, and because she shared her face. But she hadn’t used it. Iris knew she hadn’t. She hadn’t used it to cause problems, she hadn’t effectively told on Barry before he could tell her himself. She’d instead just told her to talk to Barry. And Iris knew Earth 2 Barry probably wasn’t even capable of hiding what he thought, his face giving everything away. He hadn’t been laughing at her, or thinking she was an idiot. And he also hadn’t been affected by it enough that it seemed to cause problems between him and her Barry. Or with his wife. It clearly wasn’t a big thing for them. Which made Iris feel even worse because she couldn’t just shrug it off like that. So again, she was the one making a big deal of something. And she didn’t even know if she had a right to. If she did, what basis would it be on? That it was sort of her, that Barry had thought it was her, in some sense. That he’d kissed anybody? That he was supposed to have feelings for her, except maybe he got over them and even if he hadn’t, he didn’t actually owe her anything.

She drank some of her now cold coffee, stopping herself from slamming the mug on her desk. Thankfully she wasn’t working on anything with a deadline for end of day.

She felt like something she didn’t even know if she was allowed to have had already been taken away from her. And maybe it shouldn’t matter, maybe it wouldn’t to others, but it did matter to her. She’d been trying to work out if she could be something with Barry, if she could try, what it could be like. And he had already gone and done it without her and she hadn’t been a part of it. And that stupid irrationality that kept nagging that if they ever did end up becoming something, it was always going to be after this – after he’d already kissed her, but not her. That that was the first, the foundation of it. She couldn’t get past it, she didn’t know how to.

And she didn’t know how to be grateful that Barry had told her – because she was, she was glad she knew. Being around the others any longer and having them knowing something she didn’t – she hated that feeling. She didn’t want to punish him for telling her the truth just because she couldn’t let go of how she was feeling. Which just made her even more angry, and more upset, because how was this fair? He hadn’t really done anything. She understood how he could have not known what to do and if anything, logically, it was Earth 2 Iris that should be pissed at him – she was the one who kissed him, and whom he’d tricked. But it felt like hers; her trickery, her mockery, her kiss that had been taken from her.

And there was this other part of her that felt the tiniest amount of offence at her doppelganger on behalf of Barry and herself. Her doppelganger seemingly had just shrugged off kisses from Barry – her Barry. How could she do that? How could it not mean everything? Except Iris knew it did mean everything to her doppelganger but from Earth 2 Iris’ own Barry, because she’d seen them, she knew how much her doppelganger’s Barry meant to her doppelganger.

She was pretty sure this was exactly why people were never supposed to meet their doppelgangers. This happened. She thought trying to process how she felt about Earth 2 Dr. Wells was bad, but this was just ridiculous.

Barry would probably be there soon for lunch and she didn’t know what she was supposed to say to him. She didn’t want to shut down the possibility of anything with them, she didn’t want to be mad at him and she knew in her heart that he didn’t mean to do anything to hurt her, but she couldn’t stop feeling like she’d been left behind, again. That decisions were made about her, without her, again.

This wasn’t as bad, it wasn’t months, or years in the case of his feelings where she had to try to go over everything she’d experienced, think about what they’d really meant, the humiliation and the betrayal at what she’d been excluded from, the insecurity of why had she been excluded from it and all the frustrations and regrets of the what ifs that she had thought.

And this – she just didn’t know how to work it out. Her doppelganger was good enough to kiss, but not her? A test run? Or was she second best, a second attempt. And as she’d start to feel jealous over her doppelganger who had had a moment with Barry that Iris thought about, that Earth 2 Iris could appreciate and didn’t even want, she’d start to feel indignant on her behalf. He’d lied to her doppelganger and Iris was kind of pissed on her behalf. Circling back around she’d remember the doppelganger didn’t even seem to care so why should she?

Maybe Barry had gotten to live out that potential future of theirs by proxy, on Earth 2, and realised he didn’t want it after all. Maybe the chance for them had already played out and she hadn’t even gotten to be a part of it, hadn’t gotten a say or a chance to put her own feelings into it; someone else had represented her. He’d said it had been her for him, so that implied he did still feel something, right? But it might have answered things for the worse for him. Or, he might’ve been watching Earth 2 Barry and Iris since they’ve been here like she had and he’d realised that that couldn’t be them, that he didn’t feel that much, that his feelings were more about them growing up together so close as best friends and that what their doppelgangers had was more than he could give, or could want. With her, anyway.

Everything that had happened since he got back – she’d been the one to initiating it. She was the one who literally invited him into her bed. He’d insisted he was just tired. If he was just struggling to deal with everything, with Jay, with Zoom, her putting all of this on him was hardly the best thing to do. She didn’t want to make things even harder for him. If he wanted her for comfort and support, to be his best friend, she could do that – she would do that. He’d told her she could honest, but that was maybe more about Barry than how Barry felt about her; he was sweet and kind, of course he would listen to anything she felt she had to say. But then, she’d somehow manage to remain oblivious to how Barry felt about her their whole lives, so really, could she say she did read him right if he was putting signals about his feelings out there? Maybe she didn’t have a clue, like she never used to have a clue.

She wanted to go with the logical route; it was what she did, it was her job, and she was good at it. Get the facts, figure out the truth and tell it, respond to it. But she couldn’t just be rational. It was emotional – it was her heart, her whole life up for debate here. It wasn’t just rational. If it was whether she wanted it or not, whether it would make her happy or not, whether she would lose one of the most important things in her life or whether it would be would make one of the best things in her life even better. It had to feel right, not just seem right. She couldn’t dismiss what she felt – what she felt was the whole point. She didn’t want to dismiss what she felt, even the betrayal and the anger, the insecurity and the unfairness of what she was maybe demanding or expecting from Barry. That all was the truth in the end. If this had all happened because of things being held back between them, surely it was time to stop doing that, to change it.

For the first time in a long time, Iris wanted to do a round of boxing. Was craving it. Not just the physical reason of it, the adrenaline, but the challenge, the mind-game and the problem solving of working through everything coming at her and figuring out to dismantle those shots and how to get the how to win. She got a similar feeling doing a story but she could barely concentrate on her screen right now.

“You alright there, West? You’re looking somewhat…distracted” Scott said, catching her off guard. She hadn’t even noticed him coming towards her desk. If she hadn’t noticed that, she probably hadn’t noticed him noticing her doing pretty much nothing all morning either.

“I’m sorry, just…bad day. I’ll make up for any time wasted today.” She apologised, trying to avoid any further problems with her new editor.

“I was asking if you were okay, not being a boss checking up on you.” He said looking at her.

“Oh.” She said, deflating at the unexpected comment after their previous interactions. “Thanks.” She added.

“You said something about a bad day?” He asked as he perched on her desk beside her.

“Yeah. Family…stuff, I guess.” Barry was family. In whatever form their relationship was, past, present or future, he would always be her family

“You guess? You guess it’s family stuff or you guess that’s the excuse you’re gonna tell me?” He smirked at her.

“It’s complicated.” She dismissed with a small, polite smile.

“Ah. One of those.” He said raising his eyebrows and nodding. “Well, I know coffee can work on that. A piece of cake at lunchtime too, I hear can help.”

“Yeah?” She replied.

“Oh yeah.” He said with mock-seriousness. “Sworn by, I’m sure of it.”

“Well, the coffee’s been...” she said gesturing to her half-empty mug with a slight grimace.

“I was thinking outside coffee. Lunch?” he asked her.

“Oh! Oh, thanks. I’m actually – my friend’s coming to meet for lunch.” She excused, checking the time on her computer and wondering when Barry would be here. He wasn’t exactly the most prompt person, and she hadn’t even given a time for lunch.

“Another time then.” Scott said.

“I can bring you back some cake if you want?” she offered. Iris wasn’t even sure if she was hungry. She felt something like butterflies, she was nervous. But if Scott was giving a chance for them to find more amicable ground, she should try to capitalise on it. If she was going to have to continually have the ‘The Flash is/is not the hero’ argument with him, she should try to make it easier.

“I’ll wait for that other time. Gotta choose the right time for cake.” He said.

“Uh, hey.” She heard Barry behind her, making her whirl around on her chair to face him.

“Hi!” she said looking at Barry, trying to figure out if he was just as all over the place today as she was. Last time she’d seen him had been in her bed…and that was a strange thought. She had wanted to run away, get some time to breathe, but she also had this guilty pleasure as she’d left with the image of him rumpled in her bed. His hair had been all fluffy and messy across his forehead, his voice hoarse with sleep. It was kind of silly, surely – she’d seen Barry as he woke up so many times, but somehow this had been different. She’d liked it in a different way. It wasn’t just cute, it warmed her body. She’d liked seeing him in her bed – hers. She’d sort of liked that that was the last image she’d been left with.

“Hi.” She heard Scott say casually behind her, interrupting the greeting with Barry.

“Oh! God, sorry. Uh, Scott this is, Barry. Barry, Scott.” She said thinking about what she was supposed to introduce Barry as. She’d said friend to Scott before but she didn’t want Barry to take that the wrong way, like she was dismissing the idea of him, of them. On the other hand, she’d called him her best friend her whole life. Even if they did get together she was pretty sure he would still be her best friend – her best friend among other things. So really, was he likely to take it the wrong way when it’s what she’d always called him? And why was she completely doubting every single thing she was thinking right now? She was better than this.

“You’re the lunch friend.” Scott said pointing a finger at Barry, his elbow resting of his thigh as he still sat on Iris’ desk.

“Uh, excuse me?” Barry replied, standing with his hands in his pockets. His hair wasn’t fluffy like this morning, which of course it wouldn’t be, but she found herself looking at his hair like she wanted to the one to make it unkept again.

“You’re going to lunch. With Iris.” Scott said to Barry.

“Uh, yeah.” Barry replied, looking over at Iris, catching her eyes and she realised she’d pretty much just been sitting there.

Iris logged out and grabbed her bag. “I’ll make up the bad morning when I get back.” She told Scott.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re not due a piece for tomorrow. Take the rest of the day off if you like. Just tell me you’re working at home.” Scott said to her as she stood up.

“Are you sure?” She asked him, wondering if he was going to use it against her later.

“I offered didn’t I? You can thank me with cake.” He said with a shrug.

“Thanks, I appreciate it!” she said, taking Barry’s elbow and leading him out.

“See you tomorrow. Bye lunch friend Barry.” She heard Scott say to them. She noticed Barry looking back at him before he took one of his hands out of his pocket and held the door open for them.

“So who was that?” Barry asked her as soon as they were on the street.

“Scott? He’s my new editor. I told you about him.” She told him, wondering how much things with Zoom really had been distracting him if he hadn’t figured that out.

“ _That's_ your new editor?” He said.

“Yeah, why?” She replied, thinking about where they should go for food. Was she hungry? Nothing really sounded appealing.

“But he’s…” Barry trailed off.

“What?” She asked him.

“He was flirting with you!” he said with an outburst, making her stop walking and turn to him, dropping her hand from his arm.

“What? No, he wasn’t.” she laughed, shaking her head.

“Iris, the guy's into you.” Barry told her, looking down at her.

“But he’s…he’s my boss!” she denied. He clearly hadn’t liked her or thought much of her work yesterday. “No, he was just being…nice. I don’t really know him yet, maybe he’s just like that, it’s his humour.” She continued.

“He called me ‘Lunch Friend Barry’.” He said bluntly, looking at her again.

“Oh. Ohh.” She groaned. That was all she needed. Did she need to go back to work now? Is that why he’d given her the afternoon off? Oh god, a new mess. How had she missed it? And oh thank god Barry hadn't been there for the cake comments, now she was going over that conversation again in her mind.

“Are you… I mean, do you…” Barry stumbled, shaking his head and avoiding her eye.

“Are you asking me if I’m interested in him?” she asked him outright.

“Well, he’s a good looking guy.” He said with a shrug.

Her first instinct was to be pissed at him. Is that what he thought of her? That she was going to jump on the first good-looking guy she saw? She hadn’t been with anybody since Eddie. Why would he even think that of her? Had their whatever last night meant nothing to him? He’d had his Iris West kiss and day marriage and now he was done? She’d been driving herself nuts thinking about him and this is what he thought of her? But then she looked at him – really looked at him. He looked upset. He looked like the energy had been drained from him and it effectively drained her offence. She hated that look on him. She really wished he’d just say whatever it was he was really thinking. The only person she wanted to be into her was him.

“Do you think I should?” she asked, trying to get something, some honesty from him, something clear, unequivocal.

“Well, I mean, he’s your boss.” He shrugged off not looking at her.

“Barry,” she said, making him look at her again. “Do you think it is something I should pursue?”

“I hope you don’t.” he said quietly, continuing to look at her. Finally, something. It could be the boss thing still, but she didn’t think it was just that.

“I’m not interested in him. I didn’t even realise he was suggesting anything.” She told him simply. She didn’t want him thinking it for even another second.

“So you’re not…” he trailed off again.

“Not what?” she asked him, trying to show sincerity in her response, trying to show he could ask her whatever it was.

“You’re not looking for…you don’t want to be with anybody right now?” He finally asked. Iris sighed. This was ridiculous, she couldn’t do it anymore. She felt like screaming. She missed talking to him, just talking to him, knowing what he was saying and what he meant and what she could rely on. This carefully watching what the other was saying and second-guessing everything, she was done with it.

“Do you have to go back to work anytime soon?” She asked.

“What?” he asked, confused at her change at subject, she assumed.

“Do you?” She asked again.

“Not really. I might, if there’s an incident I probably need to go in but - ” he rambled.

“Take us home.” She cut him off.

“To the house?” He asked with a confused frown.

“No, to mine. Now.” She insisted.

“Iris,” he started to say.

“Now, Barry.” She demanded, putting both her hands on his arms, ready for him to take them to hers so they could finally deal with all this properly.


	18. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. Life had me distracted and then I had the worst headache all day today that made concentrating on a screen pretty impossible.
> 
> I think another Barry POV might be next.

He sped to her living room like the night before, using the keys he had this time instead. She stepped back from him as soon as she realised where they were. She put her jacket and bag on her kitchen counter, moving around her apartment. She came to a standstill near him. He watched her put her fingertips to her mouth and turn away from him.

“Iris, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked her. She looked like she was about to run, or fight with him.

“Barry, I need to ask you something.” She finally said facing him with her hands on her hips.

“You can ask me anything.” He told her sincerely. She stared at him like she was assessing how true that was. He tried to show her he was open to whatever she wanted to know. She was still staring at him, and released an exhale of breath.

“Last year – when you told me you…had feelings for me.” She said, her hesitation sounding a lot less sure than she looked at she stared at him.

“What about it?” he asked carefully. He should have known that having Earth 2 Barry and Iris was going to mess with her as much as it was him.

“Do you…is that still…” she cut herself off and sighed, turning away from him again. Barry stayed still, watching her, scared to do anything that would somehow make this more difficult than it seemed to be for her. She linked her fingers and curled them, not able to keep still. Her eyes were shinning when she finally looked back at him. “Do you still feel that way? About me?”

And there it was. He looked back at her, wondering if this was the last time they were going to be okay for a while, if he answered her. But he had to do, he had to tell her.

“I’m in love with you, Iris. I’ve always been in love with you.” He told her, still from the position he’d been standing in the whole time as he stared at her. She sobbed quietly, bringing her hand to her mouth and turning away from him. It hurt, but he couldn’t regret telling her. It was right to be honest with her about it, and it felt freeing, even if she didn’t feel it back. “I’m sorry.” He continued. “I don’t want to make things weird between us and I’m sorry if you wish I didn’t feel that way but…I can’t not. Especially not with our doppelgangers here – our married, happy doppelgangers.” He said with a quiet, humourless laugh, thinking that was never going to be them. “And I can’t lie to you, Iris.” He didn’t want to.

“I don’t want you to be sorry.” She said, facing him again. He watched her take a breath. “I’m not interested in Scott. I’m not interested in anybody…except you.” She told him with a small smile. He stared at her, not quite able to believe what she was saying. Her smile became bigger and it broke him from his shock. He started striding towards her, wanting her in his arms, wanting to kiss her, just wanting to feel her so he could know this was real.

“Wait.” She said quickly, taking a further step back from him and bringing up her hand, making him obey and stop immediately. He tried not to freak out. She was so close, the reality of them was so close. “I’m scared.” She whispered. He walked towards her then, he couldn’t not; that look on her face and the vulnerability of her confession of fear, he had to try to fix it. But he was slow in his approach and kept a space between them. Thankfully she didn’t step back again.

“What are you scared about?” he asked her. “Talk to me.” He pleaded.

“You’re pretty much the most important thing in my life. I can’t lose you, Barry.” She said with a shake of her head. Her eyes were still shinning with tears.

“You won’t.” he assured her.

“But what if it goes wrong? What if we go wrong? I don’t know if I can risk that.” She told him, brushing her hair behind her ear. Barry finally had the chance he wanted to – a second chance at it. He wasn’t going to let it go without fighting for it as much as he could.

“We’re not going to go wrong. And if there’s anything difficult – we’ll figure it out. The only way we’d lose this – lose us, is if we let that happen, and we won’t, Iris. It’s not possible. I can’t live my life without you in it, and I think you feel the same way, whatever we are.”

“How can you know this is really what you want?” she asked him, still looking scared.

“I know.” He told her. It was a simple as that for him.

“But it might not live up to expectations. I…I might not. It might not be what you think it will be.” she said.

“Iris,” he said as he took those final last steps towards her, closing the gap between them. He took her hand. “I haven’t just known you from afar and idealised you.” He said with a quiet chuckle.

“Haven’t you?” she said quietly with her own laugh, sniffing as she did.

“I know you.” He wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek with his other hand, brushing his thumb against her skin. She closed her eyes briefly. He waited to continue until she opened them again, until she could see how sincere he was about this. “You’re my best friend – I know you. And you’re it for me. I learned how to love through the way I felt about you.” She looked down, sniffled again, making him think there was something else. It was either that or he was doing a really bad job of this and he thought surely it couldn’t be that. Everybody could tell how much he loved her, adored her. He couldn’t hide it even when he’d tried, so surely she must see it too. “What else is it you’re scared of? Is it Joe? Cuz – “

“No, it’s not my dad.” She said cutting him off. “I’m pretty sure I know how he feels about this and us being…an us.” She joked, making him smile softly too. He’d wondered how Joe had been with her about this and he supposed that answered it for him.

“Then what is it?” he asked her, searching her face for a clue.

“It’s about Earth 2.” She said.

“What I told you last night.” He stated, figuring that had to be it.

“Yes.” She confirmed as she looked at him.

“Okay.” He replied with a nod, not totally sure how to deal with this.

“I’m upset about it. I know I probably shouldn’t be, but I am.” She told him, dropping his hand and bringing her own together again.

“I’m sorry.” He replied. “I don’t… it was you to me.” He told her, scared himself now. If this was a somehow a bottom line for her that she couldn’t get past, he didn’t know how to fix it, how to make her understand that he’d only seen her, that it only said something about how he felt about her and nothing else.

“That’s part of the problem.” She said, confusing him.

“I don’t understand.” He told her honestly. She let go of her hands again.

“I’m not Earth 2 Iris – I’m not her.” She told him, confusing him again. Was she really comparing herself to her doppelganger? Did she really think that was even a factor for him?

“I know you’re not. I don’t want you to be.” He tried to reassure her. “Seeing them together – it does affect me, but it makes me think about you, about us, not about them.” She dipped her head down, avoiding his eyes.

“Iris,” he tried to prompt her. She looked back up at him, but she kept looking away, only focusing on him for a second before looking away again.

“I didn’t even get my first kiss with you." she said with a small shrug, her eyes showing tears. "Our first kiss. I wasn’t a part of it. And it feels tainted. I can’t stop thinking about it.” She told him, making him feel a little sick. He wanted to reject what she was saying because this – this shouldn’t be it, shouldn’t be what stopped them being something. It wasn’t even how things really were. “I didn’t get to understand how we were before I found out you were The Flash either, but at least I was there.” She continued. “I was a part of that, what it felt like, even if I didn’t realise it was you. But this…” she trailed off and Barry felt panic in him, because he knew he had to tell her, and he didn’t know how she’d react to it. But this was – this could be fixed with the truth, surely. He just hoped she let him tell it.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He said. He saw her face drop and she took a step back away from him again, immediately putting distance between them.

“No, Barry.” She said shaking her head and pulling herself back from him. She looked so disappointed, like there was always something else. He wanted to cry.

“No, it’s not like that.” He told her, closing the gap between them again. “It’s not something I’ve lied about. And it’s not about Earth 2. Iris, look at me,” he pleaded cupping her cheek again, lowering his head so he could and stare into her eyes. “It’s not like that, I promise.” He took her hand and lead her to the couch, sitting her down and seating himself next to her, keeping her hand in his hand. She didn’t say anything but he was glad she had sat down with him and wasn’t pulling her hand away.

“Last year, before you know I was The Flash, I accidentally ran back in time.” He started telling her. “It was just a day back, and I didn’t mean to and I didn’t understand what I was doing. But I lived the day over. I thought I was making it better, avoiding the bad things that happened the first time, you know?”

“Yeah.” She said quietly with a frown forming on her face, he assumed not understanding what his point was and how it was relevant to them.

“But I took away the good things that happened too.” He continued, thinking that day over.

“Barry, what are you –“ she tried to ask.

“We kissed, Iris. The first time that day happened, we kissed.” He told her, staring at her. Her frown disappeared, her eyes widening. “And you told me had feelings for me. Not the future, and not Earth 2; us. You and me.” He finished. Barry couldn’t describe how much that had meant to him. At that point she’d only really reacted that way to him when he was The Flash, but to have her tell him, him as her best friend, that she felt for him – it meant everything.

“When?” she asked.

“Do you remember when I came to your work and I broke up with Linda?” he said, referencing the second take of the day.

“Oh god, you said you knew we liked each other.” She cried, turning away and staring at nothing, Barry assumed she was thinking of her version of that day too.

“ESP.” he laughed sadly, trying not to cry too, remembering how absolutely devastated he was when it had all gone wrong, not understanding how it could have gone so wrong when he’d known it was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to be the start of them, instead it had been the end in a way. He knew he couldn’t push for more after that redo of that day.

“Barry.” She whispered, looking at him, searching his face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t deliberately hide it from you. I couldn’t tell anybody about it in case it messed up the timeline and you didn’t know I was The Flash at the time and later…I just didn’t think it would do any good to tell you.” She still hadn’t really said anything. She looked down at her lap. “You found out I was The Flash then too.” He added with another cut laugh, smiling sadly at her.

“How?” she asked.

“Trying to avoid a disaster. We were together and I had to go and try to stop what was happening so I…showed myself as The Flash to you. Told you I was sorry.” He told her.

“How’d I react?” she queried.

“I don’t know. I never got that far.” He replied. He’d wondered about that too. She hadn’t seemed angry at him in that second, but maybe that would have ruined things if he hadn’t gone back in time anyway, maybe it would have been too much for her.

“I don’t understand how so much could be so different in a day.” She said shaking her head and staring ahead at her living room. “I remember that day. I wasn’t… I mean, I remember feeling really weird about you and Linda but I didn’t…” she trailed off, licking her lips as a frown pinched her brows.

“Mark Martin came back to avenge his brother. He kidnapped your dad.” He told her. She started to look worried even just at the idea of what had happened to her dad. “You were scared. I was scared. I guess it…made you confront certain feelings before you were really ready to.” He said, trying to explain.

“I was so awful to you that day – I was so angry at you for putting pressure on me.” She said, referring to their Jitters nightmare.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He told her, remembering every second of it.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just don’t understand how you handled this.” She told him and Barry was just so thankful that she didn’t seem to be angry at him.

“I’m not sure I really did.” He replied honestly. Barry thought the whole experience had broken him a little. He’d felt so stuck and powerless, like it didn’t matter what he did, somehow it just wouldn’t work out. Like he wasn’t allowed something good.

“That’s how you knew I did feel something for you back then, when I found out you were The Flash.” She worked out.

“Yes.” He replied.

“I thought you were just thinking about our Flash meet ups.” She said, still looking ahead. He wished she’d look at him. She wasn’t angry but he didn’t know if this was as helpful for her as he hoped, if it changed anything about her fears.

“No, you’d…” he cut off. “it was me that you… Before you knew I was The Flash. It was me, Barry.” He said, again thinking how much it had meant. “Though I did prefer you finding out I was The Flash that way. I know it was still too late but at least I got to tell you that time. You didn’t work it out alone and just walk in on me.” He said.

“I cheated on Eddie. With you.” Was her response. She said it like a statement, without much emotion.

“Iris, I…” he trailed off shaking his head. He didn’t know what to say. Part of him wanted to scream yes, yes you did, you chose me, but he couldn’t. Eddie was dead. He didn’t want to upset her, or make her feel guilty. “It doesn’t matter, because it didn’t really happen, so…” he trailed off with a shrug, shaking his head.

“But I chose you.” She said finally turning to him. “In that timeline…I chose you.” She was making his heart beat even faster than it was.

“I think he…thought we were too close, then. He wasn’t very happy with us. I’d…promised you I’d bring your dad back to you and I guess I was bit…tactile doing it, in front of him.” He said carefully.

“Did he know you were The Flash then?” she asked.

“No. He found out not that long after though. We wanted to protect you.” He told her, knowing it wasn’t exactly the right choice but feeling like it was the only thing they could do at the time. Eddie had been right in his anger about not telling her but he’d gotten so used to her not knowing, to protecting her by keeping things from her. And his one time it seemed like maybe she could find out, it had been taken away. He’d taken it away without even realising he was doing it.

“Why didn’t you…” she trailed off with a sigh.

“What?” he asked her.

“Nothing.” She said numbly. “I was going to ask you why you didn’t try again, when you knew it could be different, but you did try, and I pushed you away.” She dropped her head again, pressing her lips together like she wanted to cry.

“I’m sorry.” He told her as he watched her.

“Stop saying that!” she said fiercely, suddenly emotional again.

“I don’t know what else to say. I just…” He exhaled. He shifted, taking her other hand too now, waiting for her to look at him again and took another breath. “That was it for me. That was our first kiss. Not Earth 2 Iris. You, choosing me. And even them being married…that wasn’t a new concept, a new dream. That was our possible future here. None of that on Earth 2…it was just like a weird dream. But Iris, any experience on Earth 2…it wasn’t the start of anything with you. Not our friendship, not me realising I loved you, not wanting you, and not our first kiss.” He tried to explain, pleading with her to understand, how much he loved her, their story.

“Tell me how it happened.” She demanded, making him look at her, unsure if she was referring to the day he’d redone or not. “I don’t remember it, so tell me.”

“Martin called you, said he had your dad and to meet him.” He started.

“That’s what you avoided the second time you lived that day, my dad being kidnapped.” She stated, following along with what he was saying and had told her already.

“That and Singh getting hurt, yes. But instead Snart came back, took Cisco and his brother.” He told her.

“When he told Snart you were The Flash? None of that happened the first time?” she asked with a frown.

“No.” he shook his head, thinking again of the things he had caused because he’d been careless.

“So you went to rescue my dad?” she asked, refocusing.

“No, we went to the waterfront to meet Martin. He was creating a storm on the water. It seemed like it was going to be bad.” He continued.

“And that’s what made me tell you how I felt.” She said.

“Yes.” He nodded.

“What did I tell you exactly?” she asked.

“You told me that since I’d told you how I felt you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about me. And that at first you’d been so mad at me…” he said smiling at her. “But that you realised you didn’t want to stop thinking about me.” He replied, thinking every second over.

“What else?” she pushed.

“I told you I had never stopped thinking about you. Still true, by the way.” He said with a smile and a quiet laugh.

“Yeah?” she asked looking at him with her eyes wide and bright.

“Yes.” He confirmed nodding. He didn’t want to her to doubt this. 

“Then what happened?” she asked quietly.

“Then…I kissed you.” He told her just as quietly, not able to help himself from looking at her lips, remembering how they felt against his.

“Show me.” She whispered, making him still, looking back up into her eyes. “I don’t remember, so –“ she went to repeat her earlier line but he cut her off by cupping her face like he had then, brushing his thumb against her. Her eyes were wide as she looked back at him, he could feel her taking deeper and faster breaths.

He kissed her, finally again, desperately, capturing her lips with his like he had that day on the waterfront. He pulled back a little, pressing another tiny kiss against her lips, just to feel how real this was. He felt like he could breathe again, despite both of them breathing hard now. Their foreheads nearly touched as he still held her. She opened her eyes slowly, looking at him like she had then, in awe. He knew how she felt.

“Was it like that?” she asked, a catch in her voice.

“Pretty similar.” He said smiling, cupping her cheek differently so he could touch his thumb across her lips, his eyes flickering from hers to her lips.

“Was there another?” she whispered.

“No. Just that perfect one.” He told her, thinking now there were two perfect ones. They both seemed to come together at the same time, kissing each other in another kiss. It was different. The kisses before had been reverence, wonder at it finally happening, slowing down the moment and the world around them. This was more passionate, more hurried. Iris curled her arm around him, brushing her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, gripping her to him as she kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everyone! I just wanted to say that I haven't purposely been trying to make this a big slow-burn or tried to bring in all these obstacles or anything. It's just that it's still only been like, 24 hours past in this story lol and I guess I realised pretty quickly when writing Earth 2 Barry and Iris that bringing them into it as real people would change things. It's very different to hear about something as opposed to having the people of those stories as something tangible. I figured for Iris having them actually be there, to know them and be vulnerable in front of them, would have an effect on how she felt about what happened on Earth 2.


	19. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! I wrote something, hated it, got stuck and didn't try hard enough to get unstuck.
> 
> Truly, thank you for all the reads and comments!

Finally. Finally, finally, finally is what kept going through Barry’s mind. Every other thought consisted of Iris. Iris’ lips against his, Iris’ tongue in his mouth, Iris’ moan as he gripped her, Iris’ leg over his as she straddled him, pushing him against the couch, Iris’ hands pushing his jacket off his shoulders. Fuck.

“Iris,” he said into her mouth as she separated to take a breath.

“Hm?” she mumbled, kissing her way across his jaw and then his neck. He swallowed, putting his hands on her waist to try and steady himself. Then she ground herself against him as she captured his mouth again. He pressed his fingertips against her, trying to stop his hands from exploring further but her response was to press herself against him, grinding herself into him again. He was ridiculously hard just from kissing. He would be embarrassed at such a reaction but it was Iris, of course he was responding so extremely to her. He pushed up against her, stilling her as she arched her back instead. He took the opportunity to start kissing her neck, down her throat. She lifted her head back, allowing him access. He wrapped one arm around her, settling on her back so he could support her as she leaned back. He was sitting forward, away from the couch as he mouthed at the bottom of her throat, making his way across the bare skin of her chest and cleavage.

He slid her against him as far as he could, so she was pressed fully against him. The skirt of her dress rode up her thighs, the material pooling at her lap between them, showing the skin of her bare legs that were straddled around him. They shouldn’t be doing this, he knew they shouldn’t be doing this. It was too soon. But she felt so right, he’d been wanting this for such a long time – but he’d been wanting her as a partner even longer.

“We should,” he started as he forced himself to pull back and look at her “Probably slow down.” He panted, swallowing as he looked at her bared neck he’d been moving his lips across, at her swollen lips, swollen from him kissing her. She looked amazing. His first time seeing that look on her, and directed at him. It lived up to all he’d dreamed.

“Oh. Right.” She blinked at him, her pupils blown wide and her own breathing laboured. “You’re right. Sorry.” She said looking unsurely at him as she straightened up. He didn’t want that. He stopped them so he could fully appreciate her, every moment, not for her to worry or doubt anything.

“Not something you need to apologise for, trust me.” He said as he cupped her cheek again so she was looking at him. He knew she could feel him, feel how much he wanted her. He could feel the heat of her. “I just…I’ve wanted you for so long – all of you, to be with you, to love you, to live my life with you – I don’t want to rush us is all.” He told her. She licked her lips and looked at him.

“I’m sorry for making you wait so long.” She said quietly without breaking eye contact.

“Worth every second.” He assured her steadily. “And we have all the time in the world now.” He added. She broke the eye contact and looked down.

“What is it?” he asked her, hoping the feeling of honesty was going to continue and she’d tell him whatever was worrying her.

“What if we don’t?” She said as timidly as Iris West was capable of. She was still straddled on his lap. He settled his hand back on her waist and rested his other on her thigh, hoping it would keep her there, that it would help secure her emotionally as much as physically.

“What’d you mean?” He asked her.

“You face meta-humans like, every week. And just regular bad guys.” She said. “What if something happens?” she asked in a quieter voice, almost fearful. He wondered how long she’d been thinking it, if going to Earth 2 was a big part of why she was thinking it.

“Nobody is going to take me away from you.” He told her easily.

“You can’t say that.” She shook her head at him.

“I can.” He assured her, his hand tightening just barely on her waist. “When you first found out – with Grodd? And I told you that when I get in trouble I think of you?” Iris nodded as she listened to him. “I meant it. You’re my strength, Iris. You asked me to come home after going to Earth 2. No one is going to stop me from always coming home to you. Especially not now.” He promised her.

“Barry.” She breathed at him with a watery smile. She put her hand on his chest, covering his heart. His eyes briefly closed as he breathed against her, his chest raising to meet her hand. He felt her brush her thumb against his shirt.

“There’s nothing else right? Nothing else I don’t know?” She asked him, making him open his eyes.

“That’s it.” He said.

“And no other Earth or timeline Iris’ kisses or anything?” She asked with a chuckle at the surreal situation, but she was looking at her own hand on his chest instead of his face, so he knew there was more to how she was feeling about everything.

“No. And whatever you’re thinking, whatever worst case you’re wondering about – it’s not how it was. Our first – and our other first, now – nothing else was like them.” He told her, trying to make her understand how much it was just her for him. Something their doppelgangers had really made him appreciate was their individual history. It wasn’t always pretty, there was a lot of pain and loss that his doppelganger didn’t have, but it was his, and Iris – his Iris – had been through it all with him, by his side, supporting him and making him believe in himself, even when she didn’t realise it. He wouldn’t be the Barry he was without the Iris she was, had been; it was her.

“Thanks for telling me, again.” She said with a small smile.

“You sure you’re not angry?” He asked her. She didn’t seem to be angry at him, but he wouldn’t blame her if she was.

“No. I get it.” She told him. “I’m kind of sad about it, maybe, because part of me wishes it had stayed that way and we’d gotten that chance. And that you had to live with it yourself – I don’t know how you did that.” She told him as her hands came up to settle on his shoulders by his neck, her eyes seeking out his. “But I’m not angry at you, Barry.” She promised with a shake of her head. He looked back at her, thinking about how amazing it was he could do that now, completely show how much he loved her, didn’t have to try to hide it anymore.

“I know I said we should probably slow down, but I really want to kiss you again.” He said. A full smile graced her face, her eyes bright.

“You can do that.” She said, leaning down to meet his lips.


	20. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few more chapters to go, I think!

It was both like everything she’d thought it would be and nothing like she could have imagined at the same time. Kissing Barry – her Barry. He felt so new and familiar at the same time, exhilarating and soothing. Her mind had quieted, thank god. It was like now she had it, now she knew for sure, she could breathe again, trust herself – trust Barry. Her doppelganger had been right – all she’d needed to do was talk to him, tell her what she was worried about. She thought Barry had been right too, about them only losing their relationship if they let it happen. She liked to think the other would chase if one felt the need to ever pull away, that they could balance it out between them. And if all else failed, she was pretty sure her dad would stop them from throwing everything away. Sitting on his lap, she was sure she could do this, they could do this.

“Did other people know? About us, the first time you lived that day?” she asked him.

“Not really. After you… after we met up at Jitters the second day, I told Wells you had said you had feelings for me. I needed someone to talk to you. I…” he shook his head. “But it wasn’t something everybody knew the details about it or had seen. It was just ours. And then just mine.”

“Ours again.” She told him. Iris didn’t know she was capable of being so corny, and even less so that she’d like it. But his face when she said it, how much it lit up, how happy he looked to hear it from her, it was worth it.

Finding out about the day he’d had to live again had answered things she hadn’t even realised she’d been wondering. Pieces she hadn’t fully known were missing were suddenly found and put in place. To have the facts laid out in a timeline she could understand. She’d grown up with her dad always searching the truth, valuing it as the ultimate goal, the way to succeed. She’d learned how to do the same herself in college. And at the paper, it became more than just her go-to; she relied on it. Even helping Barry and the others at STAR Labs, it was about who the person was, why they were doing what they were doing and how they stopped him. Everything was always figured out, information was the key to moving forward, to being confident it in what she was doing. The past day she’d felt like she didn’t have any of it, and second-guessed everything so much that even the stuff she thought she did know, she told herself she didn’t. But what Barry had told her – it made sense, now.

And even though she was past it now, it took the sting off the way she’d learned about him being The Flash, and about being lied to about it. She’d never been able to understand why, why he wouldn’t tell her, because it didn’t make sense to her – she told him everything, he’d used to tell her everything. She’d told him about himself, The Flash, for godsake. And she couldn’t imagine being in the same position, having what had happened to him happen to her and not tell him. In her mind, it had always come down to for some reason he just didn’t want to tell her. And that he’d told Eddie first had always pissed her off because how could she come so last to someone she’d always felt the need to put first? But this – she understood now. She remembered exactly how angry at him she was in Jitters that day when he’d taken her hand and proposed they be together. It was like he hadn’t even listened to her, hadn’t seen how she felt and was just thinking about himself, ignoring everything she’d said and was pressuring her, but it had been the opposite. He’d acted that way because he had listened to her, had seen how she felt – how she really felt – and was trying to bring it to life. She just didn’t know, couldn’t have known. And she remembered his face at the time, which had just made her angrier then, because how dare he look so heartbroken when he was the one putting such unfair expectations on her that he knew she couldn’t meet, that she’d told him she couldn’t. Now – now she felt that heartbreak for him. She’d barely lasted a day of wondering if Barry would reject her, if maybe he didn’t feel that way about her anymore – for him to feel that way for so long, and by himself – she couldn’t imagine. She completely understood why he’d doubled-down on not telling her, even why he’d told Eddie first. She wasn’t going to ask, it didn’t matter anymore, but she was pretty sure there was Barry guilt in there. Like telling Eddie was showing respect in his guilt for the fact that he’d tried it on with his girlfriend. She’d cheated on him – another thing she didn’t think she would ever do, and yet she had, because it was Barry. Except, not entirely just Barry as she’d known, because she’d had something with The Flash too. Something she’d known Eddie didn’t like and that she’d known was on the edge of something she shouldn’t be feeling when she had a boyfriend, but she’d indulged it anyway, enjoyed the thrill The Flash always gave her. She understood how their other Earth doppelgangers, through all Earths, would end up with each other no matter their experiences together, because she’d felt something for Barry as The Flash, just the presence of him, the being of him – she’d responded to him even when she didn’t know him. He’d waited on her this whole time. There was something so amazing about that, that someone could feel that much for her.

“Are you okay?” he asked her as he looked up at her as she still sat straddling him. She probably should move, but she didn’t want to. Another contradictory feeling she was sure she could only feel with him. She couldn’t say she’d ever thought wanting to straddle Barry’s lap when they were sitting on the couch, but now she was doing it, it didn’t feel awkward like something new, it felt simple, right, somehow. Like she knew him, and his body and her place beside him. Instead of lifting herself from him she sat back, shifting so she was more comfortable as he supported her weight.

“I’m great.” She told him with a full smile. “You know, we’ve had some pretty great couch time lately.” She said.

“That’s true, we have.” He smiled back at her, then his face dropped like he remembered something terrible. “Ronnie and Caitlin are evil meta-humans on Earth 2.” He blurted out before she could ask him what was wrong.

“What?” she replied, totally confused.

“It’s nothing to do with this. It’s just something I haven’t told you – the only thing I haven’t told you. They’re called Deathstorm and Killer Frost. Killer Frost helped us in the end, as revenge for Zoom killing Deathstorm.” He rambled, making her have trouble keeping up.

“Wow.” She said shaking her head, trying to make sense of it. “Uh, what does Caitlin think about it?” she asked him.

“Uh.” Barry’s eyes pointedly looked away from hers.

“Barry! You haven’t told her?” she accused. He looked back at her with some guilt, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to excuse it but knowing he shouldn’t.

“We decided it was best not to. For now, at least.” He told her, making Iris sigh.

“You know better. She deserves to know; it’s her doppelganger.” She said.

“I know, but Zoom killed Earth 2 Ronnie when we were there, in front of Caitlin’s doppelganger. It’s just, with Jay –“ Barry shook his head, his shoulders moving in a small shrug as he gave his own sigh.

“I know. But And if it was you, wouldn’t you want to know about ours?” She asked him, knowing she would want to know. Would she even be sitting here with him if she hadn’t known?

“If I’d lost you? I don’t know, Iris. I don’t know if I could handle that, if hearing that would just make the loss worse.” He told her honestly. The fear he showed just at the thought made her run her fingers through some hair at the side of his head, smoothing it down.

“She’s strong, and secrets always come out, Barry. Don’t make it more difficult. And trust me, it will make it more difficult. Let her decide. Tell her about their evil doppelgangers. If she wants to know more about, she’ll ask to know more. At least give her the choice.” Iris suggested for him. She above all of them knew what it was like to not get to decide, for others to do it for her. It wasn’t a way she wanted to treat anybody.

“You’re right. I’ll talk to Cisco. He should tell her.” Barry told her, staring up at her and he searched her face. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for but he looked cute doing it, cute that it made her want to kiss him, so she did. Tenderly capturing his bottom lip between both of hers, she kissed Barry Allen.

“You look happy.” She said as she pulled back, not that used to seeing that face. Barry smiled, a lot. He was warm and friendly and enthusiastic – he smiled a lot, but this was different. He looked at peace in a way he rarely did, freer. 

“I am. To have you, finally. I do have you, right? I mean we are - we are doing this, right?” He asked with a frown touching his brow. Iris realised that Barry had most likely been such as insecure about them as she had, if not more so. He’d already had this in a way, and it was taken away. She wanted to reassure him, to be the cause of that look of happiness and peace as much as she could.

“I want to be with you. Just you. I want…an us.” She told him plainly, loving the way his frown disappeared and his mouth smiled in response, as well as the elation than ran through her at the thought of them being an 'us'.

“Can I take you out?” He requested.

“Like, on a date?” she asked with a confused frown, her lips also smiling at the thought though.

“Is that too weird?” He asked, a frown of his own forming.

“I guess I just think of ‘date’ being people you’re still getting to know.” She replied honestly.

“There’s still parts of you I don’t know, that I want to.” He told her seriously. She wasn’t sure he meant it as suggestively as she was taking it, but it caused a little flutter through her.

“It’s not too weird. I’d like to.” She said pressing a quick kiss on his lips. “Are you going to pick me up at my apartment?” she teased with a grin.

“If you’ll allow me, to, yes.” He smiled back.

“When?” she asked, not able to stop her own smile.

“Tonight? Is that too soon?” He asked her.

“No. I think we’ve waited long enough, right? I do think I may have to go back to work though. If Scott thinks I’m here at home as some kind of hint to him that I’m interested, I need to sort that out.” She said, thinking about how not fun that was going to be.

“You really didn’t realise he liked you?” He wondered.

“No!” she said, still shocked about it. “Barry, I’ve just been thinking about you all day. Besides, he didn’t seem to like me the other day. He pulled my story, said it was a fluff piece.”

“Well I guess you won him over.” He replied with a small smile.

“You’re not worried about him, are you?” She asked, looking him over to see if she could tell what he was thinking.

“Not right now.” He replied with a low tone as he slowly looked her up and down, her thighs still bare as she straddled him. Okay, that was for sure suggestive. She bit her lip to stop from giggling. She’d never appreciated how hot Barry could apparently be.

“So where are we going on our date?” she smiled at him, excited for this, for what they were going to be.


	21. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing a very different fic for a very different fandom lately and I don't want it to bleed into this, so please let me know if my Barry and Iris seem off or like I've lost their personalities or something. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for sticking with this. I really appreciate it.

“What in the the hell is up with you?” Joe asked, shocking Barry as he was lost in his thoughts. Oh god, lying to Joe was something he couldn’t do. Barry and Iris had decided they’d tell Joe about them together, so Barry wasn’t allowed to say anything by himself. It shouldn’t be a big deal really, but somehow it had him freaking out. The way Joe was looking at him wasn’t helping.

“Nothing! I mean, what?” Barry replied, trying to keep his face blank. He just kept thinking about Iris. He was both nervous and excited for their date and as The Flash, time was excruciatingly slow.

Joe raised his eyebrows and pointedly looked Barry up and down, raising his brows even higher when he settled back on his face, waiting for Barry to explain what had him so nervous.

“I’m fine. Nothing’s going on. I’m fine.” Barry struggled.

“Ah-huh.” Joe replied with judgement, not believing a word from him.

“Are you guys having dinner or…” Barry said with a shrug and a shake of his head, trying to change the subject.

“Something you wanna tell me there, Bear?” Joe asked still standing staring at him.

“Noooo.” Barry said shaking his head way too much but not able to stop. “Nothing.” He said quieter. Barry cleared his throat after some silence. “So uh, how’d today go? I mean, do you need me for anything?” he tried again, but Joe was still staring him down, practically in detective mode. It was brutal. “Are you going to say anything?” Barry asked, looking away from the judgement of Joe.

“Are you?” Joe whipped back.

“What’d you mean?” Barry asked with what he hoped was an innocent tone but he was pretty sure it was about 2 octaves higher than anything that could be sincere. Barry started backing away towards the stairs, trying to get away from the conversation. Joe exhaled with irritation.

“Is it something I need to worry about? Flash stuff or something?” Joe asked him. Barry didn’t say anything, unsure what to say. “Barry.” Joe prompted him.

“Hm?” He replied with wide eyes. Joe shook his head at him, finally looking away from Barry.

“Oh, whatever it is, be smart about it.” Joe told him, waving his hand like he was dismissing it himself. Barry chose to ignore the indication there was anything he needed to be smart about.

“I uh, I’m gonna be out tonight. Might be back…kind of late.” He said instead, near the stairs now.

“Like I said, be smart about it. I don’t want any calls about STAR Labs blowing up or meta-humans coming through some new breach or whatever this is about.” Joe lectured, gesturing his hands in casual command at Barry’s behaviour. Barry turned towards the stairs, surprised to find Earth 2 Iris standing on them and looking at him.

“Oh, uh, hey! How was it today?” He asked her.

“Pretty good. Bit weird, but still felt like the same place. Coffee’s just as bad too.” She said with a small smile.

“Yeah, that’s true.” He said, deciding not to bring up the fact that most that worked there got their coffee from Jitters, not wanting to remind her of what happened to her dad at her Earth’s Jitterbugs, especially after overhearing her upset earlier.

“Going out?” She asked him.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just wanted to get changed, if…” he said as he nodded towards the stairs, silently asking if he could got in his own room or if she and his doppelganger were busy. He really should have just put them in Iris’ room. But then, maybe Iris wouldn’t asked him to stay at hers if he had.

Earth 2 Iris shook her head, raising her eyebrows at the stairs in permission. “Right, thanks.” He replied, going to move past her. She still didn’t move, making him feel awkward. Barry thought how weird it was that a few hours earlier the same face had elated so many good, exciting emotions, that he’d felt completely at peace just staring at her, and now that same face was completely unnerving him.

“Tell Iris thanks for suggesting today.” She added as he walked past. Barry looked at her as he walked up the stairs and was sure she somehow looked smug. He didn’t get it. The more interaction he had with her, the more he was convinced she detested him, or pitted him, or something else he couldn’t work out.

“Oh, hello, Barry!” His doppelganger said as they met in the hallway. He had his smile firmly in place as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Hey, how’s everything? You guys okay here?” Barry asked, feeling more comfortable with his doppelganger than he had Joe and Earth 2 Iris. He felt like he knew his role here better and he wasn’t being silently judged.

“Yes! Thank you. It’s quite fascinating being here. Your Captain though, he uh – you do have an interesting relationship, huh?” Earth 2 Barry said, his brows furrowed like he was concerned.

“Oh,” Barry cringed, wondering how much criticism he’d gotten from Singh. “Sorry about that.”

His doppelganger shook his head. “We’re going to visit Dr. Wells at your STAR Labs tomorrow. Thought it wise to collaborate.” Earth 2 Barry said.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Barry replied, making no show that he already knew his doppelganger had suggested it to his Earth 2 Iris. “If I could ask a question?” His doppelganger asked.

“Sure, yeah.” Barry nodded.

“Where’s your Dr. Wells?” Earth 2 Barry wondered.

“I’m sorry?” he replied, his own eyebrows mirroring his doppelgangers now.

“The Dr. Wells of the group – he’s from Earth 2, yes? Where’s the one from this Earth?” Earth 2 Barry clarified.

“Oh. Uh, that’s…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“I assumed he couldn’t be an evil doppelganger as he must have built this STAR Labs?” His doppelganger assumed.

“Well, kinda.” His doppelganger looked at him with a lowered frown. Barry looked away with a quiet sigh. “It’s…a long story.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” His doppelganger said as he physically took a step back from Barry, his eyes wide in regret.

“No, no it’s fine.” Barry told him, knowing it was better to tell him. “The man who killed my mother? He was from the future.” He started carefully, with a sombre tone.

“The future?” Earth 2 repeated.

“Yeah, speedsters can time-travel.” Barry told him.

“You…you can time-travel?” His doppelganger asked, repeating him again, his face looking excited. Barry wondered if he was that expressive or if the loss in his life had muted it for him.

“Yeah, I can run fast enough to run through time.” He explained.

“Wow. That’s… That’s incredible!” Earth 2 Barry said with a breathed laugh of wonderment.

“Yeah. So he and I were rivals in the future and he went back to try to kill me, child me. Future me followed him to stop him. He killed my mother instead, to break me.” Barry explained almost numbly. It was such a weird thing to say, sometimes to hear himself say. And it made his doppelganger’s face change yet again.

“Barry, I’m so sorry.” Earth 2 Barry said shaking his head in sympathy.

“Thanks.” He replied with a small smile of appreciation. “Anyway,” he continued with a sigh, his shoulders slumping. “He was trapped in that time, he lost his speed. He had to create me, as The Flash, to get home. Which meant he had to become Dr. Wells to control the particle accelerator that made me The Flash, that gave me my powers. He took the Dr. Wells of this place. So that Dr. Wells we all know here? Wasn’t really Dr. Wells. It’s kind of still a sore subject, because we all trusted him. He was our mentor here, part of our team here. But he was the bad guy lying behind our backs the whole time. Some of our group died trying to stop him.” Barry told him, trying not dwell on it. It had happened, he’d accepted it – he had to.

“Oh, that’s… That’s just awful. I apologise for bringing it up.” His doppelganger said quietly as he dipped his head.

“It’s fine.” Barry told him.

“I’ll let you get on.” Earth 2 Barry said, raising his head to look at him and he went to walk past, the small and polite smile on his face. Barry looked at him and had a thought.

“Hey, uh…would you want to meet my dad?” He offered without second-guessing it too much. His doppelganger turned around and looked at him.

“Really? I had wondered where he was.” Earth 2 Barry said almost delicately. Barry wondered if that had been another thing he was going to ask but the response of the one about Dr. Wells had put him off.

“He moved when he got out. But he’s not that far. I’m sure he’d come visit.” Barry said.

“I assume he knows you’re The Flash.” His doppelganger stated.

“Yeah” Barry chuckled with a nod, his doppelganger giving a small smile back. “I’ll get in contact with him. I mean, as long as you’re okay with…everything.” Barry said carefully, not wanted to voice the loss of his mother any more than he had.

“Yes, thank you. I’d appreciate being able to meet him here – if he’s agreeable to it.” Earth 2 Barry said. Barry nodded again. His doppelganger didn’t go to leave again, instead looking at Barry instead. “Are you going out tonight?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah. I probably won’t be around at all.” Barry told him.

“And Iris?” Earth 2 Barry added, making Barry still and forcing himself not to shift just at the mention of him.

“What – what about her?” he replied, trying for casual.

“She’ll be out too?” His doppelganger asked.

“I haven’t seen her since she went to work.” Barry replied, thinking that was a safe response.

“Not at work?” Earth 2 Barry asked with a frown.

“I’m sorry?” Barry almost squeaked.

“I thought you were meeting her for lunch at her work?” His doppelganger said, making Barry stand and stare, blinking at his doppelganger. 

“Right, yeah! Yeah, we…we did that.” Barry rambled awkwardly. “What I mean is, since she went back to work after – after that.” He finished clearing his throat. His doppelganger looked at him before finally nodding.

“Well, have a nice night.” Earth 2 Barry said with that polite smile again, finally leaving the hallway to go downstairs.

Barry stared after him wondering how paranoid he was to think that Earth 2 Iris and Barry may actually have some kind of agreement to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. Frowning at the spot where his doppelganger no longer was, he turned towards his room. With his fingers on his temples he let out a breath, trying to process the stress of the last 10 minutes. Then he reminded why it was happening. He had a date with Iris. He had a date with Iris West. A real date. It wasn’t him hearing about a date she had with some other guy or he had to watch her get ready for, it was him. He was taking her out. He grinned as he sped through trying on way too many outfits, clothes thrown about and back again in the blink of an eye.

Doing his teeth and hair in a similar Flash fashion, he put on the outfit he’d settled on, finally checking himself in the mirror with a brush down and an exhale.

He decided nobody could see him so dressed up without getting more hassle, so he made sure to sped out the door, only slowing down so the door could be heard closing to let the others would at least know he’d left.

After making his way to Iris’ place he found himself staring at her door, hesitating to knock. He unnecessarily brushed himself down again and tried to take a calming breath. He couldn’t possibly screw this part up, could he? It was Iris, and him, going out, like the had a thousand times before. Okay, maybe not exactly like before, but still, he knew how to be in Iris’ presence, didn’t he? He shifted on his feet starting to get nervous again, bringing his hand to his temple and trying not to pace in the hallway.

“Okay, you can do this.” He said under his breath, closing his eyes and exhaling. Opening his eyes he stared at the door again, remembering being here earlier today, when he’d let him and Iris in with keys, keys he still had. He started wondering what it would be like, to come home to her in a way he’d never experienced together, just their home, their home as a couple. To let himself into their home. It was silly, this was a first date for godsake, but that’s where this was leading, wasn’t it? There wasn’t a question there for him – it was where it was leading, it was what he’d wanted. There wouldn’t be anybody else. This may be the start of their romantic relationship together, but it was the start of them building their whole lives together, including a home that they shared. And that image, that feeling felt so right it took away all his nerves, feeling more like he had this afternoon as he’d been looking at her face – like he was home. She was his home, and they’d one day have a physical one together, just theirs.

He knocked on her door with a smile on his face. When she answered, she had a bright smile too.

“Hey.” She said and he stared at her. She looked amazing as always and he remembered that she was dressed up for him, for their date. She stepped closer to him, pressing her hand over his shirt and tie with a sweet smile on her face and she looked at his outfit, turning her eyes back to his. Her smile turned more into a near frown as he still hadn’t said anything. “Barry? Are you –“

He surged forward, cupping her cheek and capturing her lips in his, tasting her, committing himself to her and them and everything they could be – everything they would be. He pulled back, keeping his hand on her cheek, looking down into her eyes. “Sorry.” He apologised breathlessly.

“S’okay,” she told him with a smile before rubbing her lips together. “It’s a nice way to say hi.” She said smiling brightly again.

“Hi.” He finally said, breathing that peace again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to put some canon things in, like the thinking about Eddie, like Scott, like the first date psyching himself up Barry.


	22. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so short! It's because I want to switch POV mid-date.

The date continued that weird mix of familiar and new. Barry made her laugh like he always had, he was adorably nervous and excited. He’d opened the door for her like he often did, but it felt different this time and she found herself openly looking at him in a way she hadn’t before, hadn’t let herself. She felt alive, but secure.

They were a couple of drinks in when Barry got a call from Cisco. He stared at his buzzing phone, clearly hesitating as he looked at her.

“Answer it.” She told him.

“But –“ he started to argue.

“Barry, answer it.” She repeated softly. He sighed as he accepted the call.

“Yeah, Cisco.” He said over the phone.

She watched the one half of the conversation which consisted of very little words and mostly nodding from Barry. Barry’s face going from worried to frustrated, and then guilty. Iris was glad she could still read him as she always had. She’d worried she’d lost that ability, being so confused about what he had felt about her.

“Yeah, okay, got it.” He shut his phone off and looked at her apologetically and she hated that. She didn’t want him to feel guilty about being a hero and the responsibility it pushed on him. And she didn’t want to be something that got in the way of the good he did.

“It’s a robbery. Cisco doesn’t think it’s a meta-human.” He told her, a clear ‘sorry’ in his voice.

“Barry, go. It’s fine.” She encouraged.

“I won’t be long.” He said.

“I know. Just let me know if it is anything more serious and you can’t come back.” She told him, hoping he understood it was okay. He nodded and hurried out of the bar at normal speed.

Iris looked at her phone, Googling for any reports of what might be happening as she picked at some of the sweet potato fries she’d ordered to snack on.

 

“CCPD have him.” He told her not long afterwards as he tucked himself back into his seat opposite her. He brushed down his shirt and tie. She smiled at him.

“What?” he asked her, noticing her look when he looked back up.

“I was just thinking about our Flash…meet ups, before I knew it was you. You’d always have to rush off to help someone, or stop someone, and I never knew when I’d see you again. I’d worry what happened, if you were okay.” She told him thinking back to those days when she’d follow any sighting that anyone had claimed, wondering what he’d had to deal with. She’d always wanted to help him, wishing she could be more involved.

He nodded at her with a small, sweet smile. It seemed to tell the secrets their meetings used to keep.

“I kind of like you coming back to me, afterwards.” She told him quietly with a smile of her own. When his smile turned bright and he stared at her, she pressed her lips together to keep a similar smile she could feel starting, putting her head down and trying not to blush. She picked up her glass and sipped her wine, feeling him still looking at her.


	23. Barry POV

He’d made Iris West blush. Out of a liking for him, because she was flirting with him. He couldn’t believe how much seemed to have changed in a day. He watched her drink some of her wine, hiding her face. She cleared her throat before she spoke again, changing the subject.

“So, how was today? What did our doppelgangers think of CCPD?“ She asked, putting herself back together again, exuding confidence again.

“Uh.” He said with a frown. How was he supposed to handle this subject? He really didn’t want to ruin their date. It was bad enough he’d had to do deal with that robber. The last thing he wanted was to upset her, or have their date be forever thought of as a bad memory.

“What? Did something happen?” She asked with a concerned frown. Being honest and up front with her had been working well so far, and she had asked. He leaned forward, wishing he was touching her.

“No. I just…do you really want to hear about that?” he asked her.

“Why not?” She said automatically, looking confused, and leaving him confused too.

“You were upset, about…what happened.” He said carefully.

“Oh.” She said, looking down at her lap for a second. "I was upset. I didn’t know how I felt about it, it threw me. It was like another thing that had been decided without me, and I felt like…like I’d lost something. I was jealous.” She admitted. He was shaking his head before he said anything. As much as hearing that Iris had been jealous over him gave life to something inside him, it coming with her upset and insecurity dimmed it again.

“You have no reason to be. I promise.” He told her, because really, the idea of Iris needing to be jealous of anyone was ridiculous. She’d always had him, his attention, his love, his loyalty. Even if it was someone with the same face as her, no one could take him away from her; no one could overshadow the her she had within him.

“I know. I…I understand, now.” She smiled a small smile at him that he believed. Still, he watched her, worried there was something else. “I’m fine, Barry. It’s not weird, so don’t make it weird, okay?” She told him, making him breathe a little easier. He got the hint.

“Okay.” He said, nodding at her with his own small smile of understanding. Well, Earth 2 Iris told me to tell you hi, and thanks for suggesting today.” He told her.

“That’s nice of her.” Iris smiled brighter and he believed that one too. “Was she okay with everything?” she asked.

“I overheard them in my lab. She was upset, about leaving Earth 2, leaving her city with Zoom and not being there to help.” Barry said.

“That sounds like someone I know.” Iris teased with a small smile and a pointed eyebrow raise.

“Yeah. I understand where she’s coming from. She has a responsibility, you know? She feels it.” He replied, thinking regretfully about having to leave Zoom on Earth 2 and not being able to stop him, about that man in the mask that Zoom had kept. 

“Does she know you heard?” Iris asked him.

“No.” he said, shaking his head. “Barry seemed to have it handled, so.” He shrugged and smiled a little, trying to bring the mood back up.

“I’ll bet.” Iris almost giggled and he smiled back, happy she seemed to feel the same way about their doppelgangers. They were so obviously a team who needed the other. He’d like to think he and Iris were already a team in a way and had been for a long time, but he was really looking forward to taking the step into a different kind of partnership, like their doppelgangers had.

“I don’t think she’d appreciate me trying to help anyway.” He said with a thoughtful frown, a confused and awkward smile, floating the idea to see what Iris’ take would be.

“What does that mean?” She asked with frown.

“This may sound a bit weird but…” he paused. “I think she hates me.” He said uncomfortably.

“What?” Iris asked, a grin on her face like she couldn’t believe what he just said.

“I’m serious!” He defended. “She looks at me like…like she thinks I’m an idiot, or she knows something I don’t.” he tried to explain. He knew he wasn’t imagining it.

“Oh.” Iris said as she looked down at the table, wiping away at nothing.

“I’m not making it up.” He said shaking his head.

“I am sure you’re not.” She replied, nodding her head and not looking at him. Her lips were pressed together and he was sure her eyes were amused. He knew that look.

“You know something, don’t you?” he accused. She looked back at him.

“I may know something.” She told him with her nose scrunched, tucking her hair behind her ear as she glanced everywhere but him.

“Oh my god, fess!” He demanded with a laugh. She smiled back at him.

“She doesn’t hate you.” Iris started. “But she’s not that…impressed, by us.” She told him. Barry frowned in confusion, about what that meant and about how Iris had come to that opinion. Before he could ask she carried on. “Wait, let me rephrase that. She’s not that impressed by the fact that we’re not - were not - together.” She corrected.

“How do you know that?” He asked her after pausing in thought.

“She told me.” Iris said with a small shrug. “If you’re anything like me, seeing them together has been kind of intensely overwhelming and confusing.” She said, her tone telling of all the emotion she had felt the past day. Barry nods, completely getting where she was coming from. Even first finding out they were married was intense, but to have them here being that married couple in front of him? It was something he couldn’t describe. “Well, she told me that’s how she feels about seeing us not being together.” Iris told him, setting his thoughtful frown.

“I never thought about that way.” He said shaking his head. He hadn’t, he’d been too focused on the point of view that they had something he didn’t that to think they might have been just as overwhelmed by him and Iris really didn’t enter his mind.

“Me neither.” Iris said with a raise of her eyebrows. Barry got the impression she’d been thinking about this a lot. “But, I get it, you know. Imagine finding a world where we never knew each other, weren’t in each other’s lives. That would be…” she trailed off shaking her head, like she didn’t want to finish the thought because it was too much, too wrong.

“Yeah.” He said quietly, feeling the same way she did. To have lived without her…he wouldn’t be who he was. She directed so much of him, upped his hope and his believe, was something he wanted to adore and protect. He didn’t know what kind of man he’d be without her, or Joe. It was a decision he’d already made and he didn’t want to change it, especially not now.

“So, you talked to her, about how you felt, about me.” He said, shifting in his seat to shrug off the thought of never knowing Iris West.

“Are you trying to say you didn’t?” She smiled teasingly at him. Of course she knew he had.

“I may have told her – them – my feelings for you.” He admitted. “She asked!” he chuckled.

“Well she asked me too.” Iris smiled back, taking a drink of her wine. He wondered how that conversation had gone, how much she’d said, what Earth 2 Iris had told her.

“So…she really doesn’t hate me?” he checked, trying to rethink those looks he couldn’t understand.

“No. She just…she told me we were wasting time.” She said with some hesitation, her tone serious now. Barry watched Iris before replying, trying to see if it was something she was worried about. She’d indicated similar thinking earlier and now he wondered if that’s where it had come from, her talking to Earth 2 Iris. He leaned forward, taking the hand that was playing with the stem of her wineglass.

“No second I’ve ever spent with you has been wasted, Iris. No many what our relationship was. And now? I’m not going anywhere.” He told her, showing his commitment. Even when he’d thought there was no chance he and Iris would ever be romantic, he didn’t regret any of their relationship. His life was simply better with her in it, no matter the role. Now they were together he just wanted to treasure her even more, more openly, but it didn’t change how much he cherished every second up until this point. She looked at him with a small smile, tilting her head.

“Why are you so perfect, Barry Allen?” She said in a sigh with a small smile, tilting her head as she looked at him. She’d looked at him in appreciation and pride throughout their lives, but not like that this. There was something more with it this time, like she knew she had him, like she was appreciating that he was hers.

“I’m not.” He denied. “Really, I’m…” he shook his head. This wasn’t the time to think about his screw ups. “But anything good about me is in part because of you.” He told her. Her eyes shined at him. He wanted to tell her he loved her.


	24. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this!
> 
> The next one will also be from Iris' POV

They walked some of the way home holding hands. It was a nice, mild night and it seemed like a nice thing to do. And it was. She had to ignore the habit of linking her arm through his, as she’d done so easily for so long, instead taking his hand when he offered his with this adorable look on his face, like holding her hand was an opportunity to be treasured. He had always been the sweetest guy she’d known, but she hadn’t truly thought how that part of him would be in a relationship. He seemed so dedicated to her. It was overwhelming and she was loving every second of it.

After about 20 minutes of walking she realised that between her heels and how tipsy she was from drinking, she was going to take advantage of her speedster boyfriend.

“Okay.” She said stopping, making Barry stop too. “You can run me home now.”

“Oh I can, can I?” he replied, a grin curling on his face.

“I figure it’s a perk of having The Flash as my boyfriend.” She shrugged with faked smugness. Then her face turned serious at the realisation. “Wow, The Flash is my boyfriend. I bet that’s like, a fantasy for many people in Central City.” She said, figuring it must be.

“Including you?” Barry asked her with a tilt of his head as he stared at her, his eyebrows raised. Well she’d set herself up for that one.

“I mean, I may have… but it’s not like I actually ever…” she rambled, embarrassed. “You’re the one in the sexy superhero suit!” she deflected, but that wasn’t a better response. He laughed.

“You think my suit is sexy?” he said, raising an eyebrow at her again. “I’ll be sure to tell Cisco how much you like his design.” He told her with a large smile, embarrassing her even more.

“It’s not the suit.” She tried, with a light swat at him. “It’s…you.” She paused as she looked at him, her hand pressing against his chest instead, thinking about the kind of person he was. “It’s how brave you are, how good. How much you believe in the city, how much you wanna protect it, how committed you are. And yeah, okay, I liked that I had your – The Flash’s – attention.” She told him. “You had some good lines!” she defended, remembering how much he’d caught her off-guard with some of his comments when he’d meet her as The Flash. They were so blunt in their intention, a commitment to her she’d never realised.

“’What other girls’?” He quoted himself, the same line she’d asked him about the night before, that she’d tried to hang everything on; his feelings for her, the chance of them being a them. She remembered exactly how she’d felt when he’d said that to her, like her world had just been turned upside down, like there was possibility she’d never imagined – kind of like what she’d felt the last day.

“Exactly. It’s hard not to react to that.” She told him with a smile.

“It was true. It’s still true.” He said sincerely at he looked down at her.

“I never thought about The Flash being my boyfriend.” She said, because it was true. Someone that set something alight in her? Yes. Someone she thought about in a way she shouldn’t have? Yes. But boyfriend? No. He was a superhero for godsake. Unattainable. Nothing that suggested a domestic image. Superheroes weren’t someone’s boyfriend. Except, they were. She was now one of those ‘someones’ “But I have thought about you, Barry Allen, being my boyfriend.” She added.

“Recently?” He assumed.

“Recently and…before.” She said quietly, the alcohol in her system affecting how much she was revealing. She swallowed. “Anyway, it looks like now I get both.” She chirped in a lighter tone, dodging the subject of how much she had wondered about what he’d be like as a boyfriend without really understanding it wasn’t just a casual thought of curiosity about her best friend.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a two for one kind of deal.” He smiled, meeting her change of tone, which she silently thanked him for, because she knew he hadn’t missed it, nor had he missed she’d wanted to change the mood, but he’d granted it.

“Exactly! So it includes the perks!” she grinned at him. “So come on, do your thing.” She said seriously with a wave of her hand like she could summon his powers. He stared at her, rather adoringly if she was reading him right. “My feet hurt.” She complained, rationalising the need for his speed.

Before she noticed what he was doing he’d scooped her up Bridal style. She squeaked as she was lifted up, her bag still in her hand, now dangling down as he held her. One of his arms was along her upper thighs and the other supporting her back. “Barry!” she exclaimed. Was this what he usually did? And if so, why were they still outside and not moving? He let her down again, but before she could really get a perfect balance in her heels he was stepping directly in front of her. He grabbed the back of her legs and she had little choice but to instinctively jump and go with his movement, wrapping her legs around his waist as she linked her hands around his neck, her bag now hanging from her fingers, resting against his back.

“Better?” he said quietly, staring right at her, their faces at equal height, and close. Everything stilled as she looked back at him. She felt like her breath had been taken from her. She could feel him, like she had last night in bed. But this was different, this wasn’t just him waking up, this was him on their date; this was about her. And as she tightened her thighs around him, she could feel him getting harder.

“We’re in public.” She whispered.

“We should probably go home then.” He said casually, like they weren’t standing in the street like this, turned on with her wrapped around him.

“To mine.” She replied, correcting him.

“Yeah, home. You’re there, so it’s home.” He said, being the sweetest guy she’d known once again and making her even more dizzy than she already was.

“I’m probably flashing people like this.” She half-joked, trying to find some ground again. “My dress – “

“Is that a pun?” He cut her off with a grin.

“You think you’re so cute.” She said, jokingly narrowing her eyes at him. She loved that he was being so playful, even if she would rather change their surroundings.

“I think you’re cute.” He countered. Then he kissed her. It was soft and slow, but she felt it burn through her as his tongue touched hers. She took a breath when they separated.

“Barry, can we please –“ she started to say. “Go…home?” she trailed off as she realised the setting had changed, now they were standing in the hallway to her apartment. “Oh, thanks.” She said as she looked around.

“You’re welcome.” He replied.

“It is a handy talent.” She commented. They were still standing there, and she was still in his arms. “Are you going to let me down now?” she asked.

“I thought the official service was straight to your living room? We’re not quite there yet – I’d really hate to disappoint on expectations.” He said with the start of a smirk that was hotter than it should be.

“But I need my keys.” She argued. One hand disappeared from her thigh, making her cling to him. He presented the set of keys she’d left him this morning, holding them up to her as they swung. She took them off him as he turned, bracing them against the door so she could reach and open it. “This is so ridiculous.” She said without feeling, a smile on her face. As she leaned over to unlock the door, trying to fit the key, Barry started to kiss up her neck. She giggled, trying to concentrate on getting inside and not losing balance.


	25. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the difference in rating.

“Don’t drop me.” She told him, feeling herself leaning over more and more as she tried to fit the key in the lock.

“I’m not going to drop you.” He replied.

“But when the door opens, don’t let me fall on my face. Or my ass.” She said trying to turn the key around with one hand, clinging onto Barry’s neck and trying to hold her bag at the same time. She was picturing herself falling as soon as the door give way, losing some of her support. Visions of her sprawled on her floor as he stood over her wasn’t how she wanted their first date to end.

“Iris,” He said steadily, making her look at him and give him her attention. He was staring at her. “I won’t let you fall.” He promised, being so much more serious than it called for. She looked back at him, looking over his face. She could still feel wine in her system, but looking at him and experiencing this was sobering. He was looking at her like he loved her. She could see it.

“Barry.” She said quietly, not sure what to say.

“Do you want me to open the door too?” He joked, distilling the tension. She smiled back at him.

“No, I can do it.” She said with some huffiness, reaching for and missing the lock again.

“I can put you down if you want.” He added. She could hear the teasing smirk in his voice.

“I can do it!” She insisted, finally getting the key into the lock. “Ah-huh!” she exclaimed triumphantly as she turned the key, feeling it click.

Barry walked with her, her pushing at the door behind her with her hand and forearm as he nudged it with his foot. Then they switched as they closed it, her pushing forward against the door and him kicking back. It wasn’t until the door was closed as she was staring at it behind Barry that she realised when opening the door she’d completely forgotten to brace or further support herself, instead completely trusting Barry to hold her. She swung her bag and let it drop on the counter near the entrance way of her place.

When she turned back to him again, linking her arms around his neck, he was already watching her.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hi.” He replied, his mouth turning up in a way that made her want to trace his lips with her finger, just to watch his lips respond.

“You okay?” he asked her, pulling her away back to his eyes.

“Yeah.” She told him. “I just…” she trailed off and licked her lips. “We went on a date.” She said, because that should be huge, it was huge, it felt huge, like so many things had shifted, but at the time it felt like the simplest thing.

“We did.” He said with a nod. “Technically we’re still on it.” He smiled.

“First of many?” she asked him, thinking about where this could take them. He’d said 'home' before. Was that where this was going? A shared, physical home?

“First of forever.” He vowed. She kissed him, feeling his lips move in response to hers. She couldn’t see them, but she could feel them and that was just as good, if not better.

“Do you wanna stay over again?” she asked as she pulled back barely, pressing a peck at the side of his mouth.

“I probably shouldn’t.” he replied with a catch in his breath that made her want to smirk.

“Right.” She nodded, kissing him lightly again, a bit further towards his jaw. “But your toothbrush is here. You really should stay where your toothbrush is.” She breathed against his skin, continuing her path at his jawline towards his neck. Iris tensed her thighs, lifting herself up and moving against him, finding herself turned on and seeking friction.  
She reached his neck, placing slow kisses as she went. She heard him inhale and felt him tip his head for her. She liked having her neck kissed, but she didn’t think she’d ever felt herself get wet from kissing someone else’s neck before.  
“You never said if you got out of your Scott problem.” He said suddenly, clearing his throat and making her still.

“That’s what you wanna talk about right now?” She asked as she pulled back to look at him, wondering what the hell just happened.

“It just occurred to me.” He replied, avoiding her eyes.

“Well, you solved it.” She said with some light-heartedness, trying to manoeuvre whatever this was, which she was sure was going to be difficult how confused, horny and tipsy she was.

“How’s that?” he prompted, taking her cue.

“I told him I had a date, and that I was pretty excited about it.” She said happily. “He backed off after that. And it didn’t even have to get weird because I didn’t really have to acknowledge the possibility that he may have been interested in me.” She finished, pretty proud of how it had turned out. The less awkward boss problems, the better.

“He was interested in you. Is.” He corrected her. She forced herself not to sigh.

“I think you’re missing the point.” She said as carefully as she could, a small smile still on her face.

“I was a good excuse to use.” He said without any feeling. She couldn’t tell if it was a boast or a scoff. “You did that sometimes in college, when you didn’t want to deal with annoying guys.” He continued, looking distant but again, not showing much emotion either way.

“It wasn't an excuse. It was the truth, something I was excited about." she said. "Barry, why is this bothering you so much?” she asked him simply. He sighed, frowning with sadness for the first time all night.

“It’s not. Not really. I know you didn’t even notice he liked you.” He said. That was something, at least, Iris supposed. He wasn’t wondering about her feelings about Scott. “I guess I just can’t believe this is happening, that you’re not going to be taken away from me again.” He told her, breaking her heart a little. He’d been so attentive, so happy and open. Now to see him close off like this – it was difficult.

“I’m right there. With you.” She tried to reassure him. “I’m only interested in you.” She said, watching as he closed his eyes and exhaled harshly, like he was trying to get rid of the thoughts themselves. “Barry.” She said, getting his attention. She waited until he’d opened his eyes again and was looking back at her. “I want you.” She said with as much delicate sincerity as she could, wanting him to believe her, because she did. She wanted him, she wanted this. Dates and homes and the difficulty. She wanted his love, and his loss.

She was aware enough to notice his pupils blowing wide as he looked at her, his eyes tracing her face. Then his mouth captured hers, making her moan in surprise. She felt them moving backwards until she felt them hit the wall, his hands flat between her and the wall, protecting her. Always protecting her. She hated people protecting her, thinking she needed the protection, so why was Barry doing it something that made her burn for him? Was it because he’d let her decide first? Was it how genuine and obvious his love was? She lifted herself again, finding it a little easier as she was wedged against the wall and rubbed herself against him. When he moaned, she did it again. She threw her head back against the wall as he mouthed at the base of her throat, along her collarbone, like he’d done earlier when she’d climbed him and felt crazy for him.

He moved his hands further up her thighs, letting her dress hang down so it was his skin against hers. He gripped her ass with one hand.

“Barry,” she breathed, tilting her hips against him. When he squeezed her ass again and shifted her, lowering her and pulling her flush against his own arousal, she moaned, reaching out to kiss him, her hand at the nape of his neck. She pawed at his shirt with her other one, blindly trying to untie his tie and unbutton his shirt.

“Iris, we don’t –“ he started to say but she cut him off.

“Barry, I’ve been going out of my mind since you got back. Maybe even before then. I need this.” She told him, persisting.

“Hold onto me. I need my hands.” He told her urgently, his breathing harsh like hers against her mouth. She pulled back to look at him, making him stare at her, searching her face for why she’d stopped.

“What?” He asked her.

“You’re just really hot.” She whispered, surprised by him again. Now all she could think about was his hands, him using them on her. He smiled at her, a full Barry smile that melted her. He exhaled a quiet chuckle.

“The feeling is entirely mutual.” He said sincerely, a slight catch in his voice. He was giving her that look that sobered the moment again. She swallowed, looking at the mess she’d made of his tie. It was still tied but yanked loose and sitting off to the side. She’d managed to unbutton two buttons, but missed his top one. Iris carefully pulled his tie from its knot, letting it hang as she finally dealt with the top button. She smoothed down the material of his tie.

“As hot as this is, do you think maybe the bed would be better?” she suggested. “We’re wearing too many clothes.” She smiled at him.

“We’re not having sex.” He replied bluntly.

“Barry!” she exclaimed, pulling back to look at him. There was no way he was getting her this worked up just to leave her. Didn’t he want to be with her? She could feel him still.

“You’re not entirely sober and Iris, I want you sober when we do. I want you to feel and remember everything.” He told her, making her shiver. His simple honesty was a major turn on. She wondered if he knew it. He’s always been so genuine as a person but she hadn’t imagined it would extend to these kind of circumstances, or that it would be as effective. She thought he’d be shyer.

“But I’m –“ she tried to argue, shifting, tilting herself against him as she used the wall behind her as leverage.

“And I’m going to help.” He breathed out, briefly closing his eyes. “Now shh.” He ordered as he opened his eyes again.

“Are you bossing me about –“ she asked, torn between giggling and getting frustrated. Then his mouth covered hers again, his tongue insisted against hers. He soothed her bottom lip. The desire to giggle won as he pulled back. She smiled softly at him as she giggled.

“Seriously, I wanna try something.” He told her.

“You want to try something?” she repeated. “Try what?” she asked, curious about what exactly he had in mind.

“Something I’ve been thinking about – something I’ve been thinking about doing to you.” He said, briefly looking her down her body, a look that had that heat rising again, stealing her breath and that desire to giggle. All she had now was in a desire for Barry himself, for whatever it was he wanted that would sate the need she was feeling. He had her against the wall, but if he wasn’t going to be inside her, she did wonder about the scene chosen.

“Barry, we’re not really in a good position for this. We need more room.” She tried.

“We’re in a fine position for this, as long as you hold onto me.” He told her. She tried to do what he requested, tightening her legs around him and wrapping her arms around his neck, but as soon as he started to let go of her she realised how much he’d been supporting her weight this whole time. She thought she’d been supporting at least some of herself, but trying to cling to him now she could feel the burn in her thighs the difference created. He’d been carrying her this whole time. She was thankful for any alcohol still influencing her to take the edge off.

When she started slipping, he dipped one arm under her ass, hiking her up and taking her breath again as he balanced her across his arm, dipping her back against the wall as he pulled her inner thighs almost flush against him but her tilted body giving him access.

“Okay?” Barry asked her. “I really do need at least the one hand.” He smiled up at her, her sitting higher on his body now. She let her legs rest low on his back.

“Please.” She pleaded with him to do whatever it was he was thinking of, to do anything.

“Fuck, Iris.” He breathed against her collarbone, dropping his head against her with a groan as he felt how wet she was through her panties. She only realised how aroused she was herself when the material touched against her.

“I told you. I need – oh, fuck, Barry!” she cried as she felt vibrating pressure against her clit, over her underwear. “What are you – seriously?” she breathed at him, not able to stop herself from arching her back in reaction, bowing her back from the wall.

“One of those Flash perks.” He said. She felt him smile against her skin, his breath against her cleavage. Fuck, she’d never even thought about this possibility, that he could – that he would. The rest of him was completely still as normal. It felt like he was using a silent toy against her, except she could feel it was his thumb, could feel the movement and tension, the softness and flesh of something organic as opposed to plastic. It was like no toy she’d ever experienced.

“Fast – faster. Yesss.” She hissed at him as he sped up as she asked. He still was outside of her panties, hadn’t even touched her bare skin and yet she could feel how close she was already. “God, I think I could come like this.” She breathed. He seemed to take that as a request, angling his thumb and upping the pressure the smallest amount but it made all the difference. “Ahh, Barr – Barry!” she cried as she came, her fingers digging into his shoulders as her legs turned to jelly, that perfect release taking over her body. Her head was against the wall, her eyes screwed shut. When she heaved through the comedown, she opened her eyes to find him staring at her, having raised his head from her collarbone. He’d lowered the speed of his vibrating but she tilted her hips away, too sensitive for the press of the material of her underwear against her clit now. He took the hint, smoothing her inner thigh instead. She swallowed and licked her lips, her mouth and throat dry.

“I’m having a hard time stopping touching you.” He said, his voice low and filled with tension, his fingers going back and forth along her thigh, nearing her sex each time.

“You don’t have to.” She said quietly, trying to her throat without ruining the mood. “I mean, you are still...“ she hinted. She hadn’t been able to feel his own arousal since he’d sat her higher on his body.

“I am.” He confirmed.

“And I am, and the bed is right there.” She said suggestively. He’d made her cum within minutes, suspended and pressed against a wall and without even truly touching her. She wanted him.

He pulled back from her, supporting her with body hands again as he walked her to her couch, sitting her on the back of it and standing between her legs. She watched him, shifting as she was sat down again for the first time in a while. He gently cupped her cheek and pressed a tender kiss to her lips, stilling and breathing against her.

“Barry?” she asked as he pulled back again, letting his hand fall from her but not stepping away from her.

“I am happier than I’ve ever been, right now, here, with you.” He told her. She could hear the commitment in his voice, and the peace, and something that sounded breakable.

“You wanna wait still.” She stated, not sure what to say as he seemed to go back to that worry he had about them. She having trouble thinking straight after what had happened. She wasn’t sure she could even feel her legs.

“I just want to enjoy every second.” He said. “I meant what I said earlier – not a second has ever been wasted with you. But if we’re doing this, if I’m really finally allowed this, I want to make the most of every second. I want to enjoy you, and us. I don’t want to rush any of it.” He said, overwhelming her again. Had he always looked at her like that? Had that always been right in front of her? She cupped his cheek this time, reaching out to feel him. She didn’t know how to reassure him other than remaining with him, proving over time that this – that they – were happening.

“You are an amazing man, Barry Allen.” She said, knowing it wasn’t enough, but she didn’t know how to describe what she was feeling. She didn’t want to mess it up. She avoided looking down at the press of his hard on she could feel against her leg. “You’ll stay though, right? I promise to behave myself!” she half-joked, trying to lighten things and badly hoping he’d agree to stay. She played with the ends of his tie.

“It’s the only place I wanna be.” He promised as he rubbed some feeling back into her thighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked a few chapters back for some smut. I said I didn't think I'd still be writing the fic by the time their relationship reaches that point and I maintain that, so this is the best smut attempt I could do for this. I'm sorry, I'm sure it's not what some had in mind, but the way I've written them in this and on the timescale, it just didn't feel right. But I thought it might make up for some Iris' earlier frustration that I know drove some readers crazy for a while.


	26. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long. It sounds stupid but I wasn't really sure anybody was really waiting for an update so I didn't prioritise it, but I got a comment asking about it the other day that pushed me to finish this chapter.
> 
> I think there may only be one or two chapters to go.
> 
> Also, I started a tumblr for my fics so if anybody wants to communicate with me, please feel free.  
> <https://secondfromtheright.tumblr.com/>

He’d been watching her sleep for about an hour. She had a pattern when she’d been drinking. She’d pass out easily but then wake up again within a couple hours, wide awake, excitable and chatty, and then she’d be out again. At least, he thought she still did that. He’d been on the receiving end of that chatty window, demands that he entertain her in some way, many times. Sometimes she’d come into his bedroom, waking him up as she got under his covers. Sometimes he’d hear her downstairs if she’d decided to get a drink or make a snack that she often didn’t finish, or sometimes she’d text him, and then call immediately after. Usually she’d tell him about her night, gossip or complain. She was always especially perky in that midway hour, no matter how much or little she’d drank. And he’d always act like it was an annoyance he put up with, sighing or rolling his eyes, but he’d loved it. He’d listen to her as she spoke whatever was on her mind, watch her as she laughed, or got huffy, depending on how the night had gone. He rarely got back to sleep afterwards, but he’d enjoy that time when it was him she reached out to for that comfort, for that thing she wanted to share. He’d especially love it when she did come into his bedroom and she’d fall asleep again in his bed and he could watch her like he was now. Or he’d get to watch her wake up. So many of those times he’d wanted to tell her how he felt about her. It seemed so perfect, like it was just them in the world, alive together when everyone else was quiet and asleep and unaware of the secrets and smiles shared between the two best friends. It was a time no one else could interfere with, and he’d look at her and feel so sure, like it was safe, like how could she not feel what he felt? But he never could tell her, because the fear of never experiencing it again, of being the one responsible of ruining those times, it was just too much. What if she never shared anything with him again after that? What if she never chose him again after that? He just couldn’t. So he’d just enjoyed those nights, enjoy her, enjoy them.

He traced his eyes over her face as she rubbed her cheek against the pillow in her sleep. He had to stop himself from reaching out to touch her.

He’d made her come. He’d made Iris West come. He’d watched Iris West come. He’d never imagined it before, not really. He’d thought of being with her, in every sense, but over the years he’d tried not to picture every detail it could be like out of respect for her – that and he had no desire to repeat those years of puberty when he felt so embarrassed around her all the time because of the way he’d started thinking about her. But it’d happened and part of him was finding it hard to believe. She’d been everything he could have dreamt; so responsive to him. Now part of him was terrified. She’d shown her feelings for him, returned his feelings for her, they’d been on a date – a real, first date, and come back to hers. He could kiss her just because he wanted to now. But he was terrified because he knew this wasn’t what assured everything. He used to think her feelings for him would be the hard bit – the impossible bit, and surely if she felt for him…that was it, that’s all they needed. But he’d felt that a year ago, and he’d lost her, lost the possibility of them. It had ruined him for a long time, and for longer than he’d realised until now. He’d thought he’d accepted what happened, until he was facing the idea of it happening again. He hadn’t understood how her wanting him didn’t solve everything, because it meant everything to him, but it hadn’t been enough, not truly – a concept he wasn’t sure he understood even now.

He sighed, focusing on her face again. She was in her bed, he was in it with her. This was new, they hadn’t gotten this far last time, nowhere near. He knew she knew he was struggling with something. He thought she might even know what, her attempts at telling him she wanted him, that she was with him, trying to soothe that fear. And it did work, her smile, her love for him pushing away those doubts. But it had been such a short amount of time. He needed to get over it though. She couldn’t spend their relationship trying to calm him down and god, it’s not how he wanted to spend it either. Like he’d told her, he wanted to cherish every damn second he was allowed with her. He couldn’t do that properly if he was worrying instead.

“Mm, hey.” She blinked at him, this beautiful smile stretching across her face when she saw him, making him smile in return. Her reacting that way to seeing him? From seeing him before she saw anything else? He wasn’t sure he needed anything else in life.

“Hey.” He said quietly.

“Why are you awake?” she asked sleepily.

“I’m watching you.” He told her simply. She frowned at him, squinting her eyes and taking the extra time to try to make sense of what he’d say as she’d woken up.

“Is that sweet or creepy?” she asked. He chuckled.

“You tell me.” He said still smiling at her.

“You could never be creepy, Barry Allen. Sweetest person in Central City.” She said quietly, casually, like it was basic fact she had no problem acknowledging. She reached out to clasp his hand, bringing it back towards her chest and tucking it against her, within hers, holding his hand to her. She closed her eyes again and he wondered if maybe she had moved on from that awake hour she’d always maintained.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him without opening her eyes.

“Why do you think something’s wrong?” he said, deflecting.

“Isn’t it?” She prompted, still lying against the pillow as if she was ready to go back to sleep.

“I’m here with you, what could possibly be wrong?” he said.

She opened her eyes again and stared at him, pinning him down with a slight glare. She knew he was avoiding it. He was sure she knew exactly what was wrong, if it could be classed as something wrong. She knew him, knew how he got caught up in his own mind sometimes. She’d always allowed it until she thought he needed to be pulled away from it, and she’d guide and encourage him to calm down, to see the simplicity of it all again. He wanted to be with her – that was simple.

“Then why are you awake?” she challenged.

“Told you, I’m watching you.” He said.

“But why aren’t you sleeping with me?” She asked, not a hint of impatience in her voice with for the back and forth.

“I wanted to see if you still woke up for that hour after drinking, like you used to.” He told her.

“I didn’t drink that much.” She denied. She rubbed his hand against her chest.

“I just missed it, I guess. It hasn’t happened in a long time.” He said, still watching her.

“It’s been a busy couple years.” She said with a small smile, opening her eyes to look at him again.

“Yeah.” He agreed, thinking about everything that had happened, that they had been through. She took his attention again as she stroked her thumb against his hand that she still held to her. He shifted even closer to her, sharing her pillow and looked back at her. “Earlier? When you said that I was…good? That I believed in protecting the city?” he prompted.

“Yeah?” she said, blinking at him as she waited for him to talk.

“You always believed in me.” He told her. “When we were kids – you were the only one who believed me, when nobody else did. And when I was The Flash, before you knew… I hated that you had that blog.” He said with a wiry smile. “I worried about you so much, about you putting yourself in danger and what if I couldn’t stop something, what is I was too late?” He shook his head. “But I was so proud of you too. You wouldn’t stop – and you wouldn’t stop because you believed in me, as The Flash, and what the existence of The Flash could mean for me. What that did for me – it felt like I could do anything, because you believed in me. You’ve always been the one that gets me through. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” He told her sincerely, looking at her across the pillow.

“You won’t ever have to.” She said seriously as she looked back at him. “I know we didn’t get here the easiest way, but we are now here now. You have me, Barry.” She said before a dip in her eyebrows had her lowering her eyes. “I think you might have always had me.” She said, almost like it was to herself. She looked back at him. “I’m serious.” She said, registering his scepticism. “I know it’s not…exactly the same – it wasn’t like it is now between us – but… Eddie was my most serious boyfriend, but he knew I was yours, and that I would be yours. And he wasn’t my most serious relationship. That’s always been you.” She told him with her eyes shining. He’d never really looked at it that way before. He knew Eddie had always had a bit of an issue with him, with how close he and Iris were, but he always thought it was because Eddie wasn’t comfortable with how he felt about Iris, knowing that he felt more for her than their presumed relationship suggested. Your girlfriend’s best friend being in her love with her? He’d never blamed Eddie for any issue he had with him. If anything, he’d been better than most guys would have been. But the thing he hadn’t focused on too much was that Iris never gave Barry up, not ever, not for Eddie, not for anything. It hadn’t felt that way then – then it was like he had lost her; it was hard to appreciate that in some way, she had still chosen him. Maybe Eddie was better than most would have been with Barry because Iris wouldn’t accept anything else. He and Iris had always been their own ‘them’. Every relationship either of them had had, the other was always there. He knew some people dismissed it as them being family, so it was just part of it, part of dating anyone with family, but it was different – it was something else for Barry and Iris.

“I love you.” He told her. Her eyes went wide and he could see her breathing affected, even lying down across from him. She stared back at him. “You don’t have to say it back, that’s not why I’m saying it.” He said, not wanting her to feel obligated to say it back if she wasn’t ready, especially because he knew it would just be because she wasn’t ready, it wasn’t because she didn’t feel that way about him – he knew how much she felt about him. “I just…I love you so much, Iris.” He said, feeling it through every part of him. He didn’t know how not to love her – he didn’t want to. She stared at him, her eyes bright with tears.

“I’m happy too, with you.” She told him, making that feeling of peace travel through him again. If Iris was happy with him; if he could make her happy – that was everything. If he could keep doing that, he could do anything. His most beloved achievement, his most important role. She swallowed. “I was kind of terrified, scared about so many what ifs that mostly came down to what if I lost you, but it feels… I don’t know. I just feel like yours, and like that’s where I’m supposed to be, with you.” She said quietly, breathing the end of the sentence.

“I’ve only ever been yours.” He promised her; one of the most honest things he’d ever said in his life. She smiled at him.

“Will you sleep now?” she asked.

“You don’t feel wide awake like you wanna talk my ear off or make cookie-dough?” he joked, his own smile in place.

“I hadn’t realised I didn’t really do that anymore. Well, I’d still wake up feeling restless but…” she trailed off, her eyes lowering, the barest dip of her eyebrows creating a frown as she looked away from him.

“What is it?” he asked, mirroring her frown like he had her smile. She looked back up at him.

“I don’t think I’ve really been that way since your coma.” She stated but he could tell it was like something she was just realising too.

“No?” he encouraged. Her frown got deeper. “What?” he asked. She stared at him.

“It’s you, Barry. I’m pretty sure it was about you. I loved those nights – with you.” She said, like it was a confession, a secret she’d kept without realising. She smiled at him again, a small quiet one. He forgot sometimes that she’d had her own version of losing him when he'd been hit by that lightening and ended up in a coma. It had had an effect on her, like losing her had had on him. “Can we sleep now?” She repeated, teasing in her tone.

“Yeah, now we can sleep.” He replied, nodding against the pillow. He reached for her, pulling her into him as she shifted her body to meet him, curling against him. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her.


	27. Iris POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plan is get to this finished before the new season starts.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“Ready?” Barry asked her as they stood at the West household.

“Yes.” She replied. “No. I… Barry.” She said with a whine as she looked at him. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous suddenly. She’d been fine this morning when they agreed to come over early to tell the others.

“What are you worried about? Your dad isn’t going to mind.” He assured her.

“I know. I’m worried…” she trailed off with a quiet sigh. “I’m not really worried about anything. I guess it’s just, this is it. In a way it will be more real? And it won’t just be ours anymore. I like having you to myself.” She told him with a small smile. Suddenly being confronted with everyone else knowing was intimidating. She felt like in a way they’d always been ahead of her in this, always more knowing of what Barry felt for her, maybe even what she felt for Barry. They’d all had their own judgements on it, on them. None of it was with negative opinion, she knew that, but it was still judgement. Her dad had known for god knows how long. But the last day it had just been them. Their terms, and only theirs.

“I don’t think them knowing will change that part. I don’t think anything will change that part.” He said with a grin. He looked so happy, so excited to tell other people. He was so damn cute. Then he offered his hand, being even cuter. Oh, Barry Allen, her best friend, her boyfriend; her partner, the other half of her that he’d always been. She accepted his hand, locking their fingers. Then she leaned over, grabbing his shirt with her other hand and pulling him in for a kiss. They smiled at each other as they pulled away. She took a breath, exhaling it out as they turned back to the door.

"Okay." she breathed. “Dad?” she called as they opened the door and went inside. She could see movement in the back of the kitchen. Her dad peeked around the corner from the kitchen, coming towards them.

“Hey you two.” He greeted them. Iris saw his eyes quickly notice her and Barry’s held hands. He looked back up at them, switching back and forth between them. “You two…?” he asked, pointing his finger between them in gesture. She nodded, trying to keep the massive smile on her face that was trying to break out as she watched her dad’s own grin take over. “Aw!” he exclaimed has he wrapped them both in a hug. “Finally. Took you both long enough.” He stated.

“Dad!” she protested, shoving at him as he pulled back. Barry chuckled at her side.

“What’d I tell you, when the universe wants something, it sends you a married doppelganger version of yourself to give you a kick. Thank you multi-verse.” Her dad said, still smiling at them both.

“Joe wisdom.” Barry summed up with appreciation.

“I’m so happy for you.” Her dad told them sincerely. She smiled back at him, looking at Barry briefly who was smiling too. “I gotta go to work – Singh needs me in early. But dinner tonight? We can invite Cisco and Caitlin, celebrate.” He offered as he grabbed his coat.

“Celebrate?” she asked doubtfully.

“Hey, I have been waiting for this day for years. You two being happy is absolutely something worth celebration. Don’t burst my bubble here.” He warned half-mockingly. She and Barry being a couple, finally, meant they were finally happy in her dad’s eyes. That’s what them being together represented to him. Iris thought her dad might be right.

“Dinner sounds great, Joe. Thanks.” Barry accepted, squeezing her hand in his.

"It's a shame Wally can't come." Her dad said.

"I know, but what could we say about the others?" Iris replied.

"Yeah, I know." Her dad agreed, his face showing a fatherly frown.

"I'll see if I can meet him for lunch today, or get some coffee after work - tell him about me and Barry. I don't want him to hear some other way and think we haven't told him." Iris suggested as a compromise.

“Great! Thanks, honey. See you kids later.” Her dad said he walked towards the door.

“Bye, dad.” She replied.

“See ya, Joe.” Barry added.

“Oh, I gave Barry some clothes of yours.” Her dad told Barry as he doubled back. She gave Barry’s hand a squeeze in return before letting go to head into the kitchen.

“Oh, thanks for that.” She heard Barry say sarcastically, a silent laugh in his voice. “It’s fine, don’t worry.” He said reassuringly.

“Hi.” Earth 2 Iris greeted her as she went into the kitchen. Her doppelganger was leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee in her hand.

“Hey. Can I grab a cup?” Iris asked, gesturing at the freshly brewed coffee. Earth 2 Iris moved and picked up a cup, pouring some coffee for her. Iris smiled her thanks as she took the cup.

“Good night?” Her doppelganger asked, raising her eyebrow, her face serious but for the beginnings of a smirk on her lips.

“It might have been.” Iris replied coyly, also keeping her face serious as she looked away. She took a sip of coffee, risking looking at Earth 2 Iris as she lowered her cup again. As soon as they made eye contact, both of them started laughing. Iris couldn’t say who caved first but both were giggling. She was so grateful for it. For the release of tension having been stressing not 10 minutes before, but especially feeling on good ground with her doppelganger after all the worries she’d had the past couple days. Looking at this other woman and laughing with her, not feeling any resentment – she was so thankful about it. It was the first time she’d seen her doppelganger since she’d found out about her and Barry kissing and she wasn’t sure how she was going to react. But this – this was pretty great. It was easy, maybe even more so than before. Iris figured most of that came down to her and Barry taking that next step and how happy she was about it, but it was still a relief.

“I’m glad you were able to sort things out.” Earth 2 Iris said as they both calmed down.

“Me too.” Iris said with a smile. “Thank you.” She told her doppelganger with a more serious tone.

“I didn’t do anything.” Earth 2 Iris denied.

“You did. You listened to me, talked some sense into me. You told me to trust him; you were right. And even you both just being here…it woke me up.” She explained. She didn’t want to think how this week would have been if they hadn’t come to Earth 1. Iris wanted to believe she and Barry would have worked it out without the intervention of their doppelgangers, but she couldn’t know for sure.

“You’re welcome.” Earth 2 Iris gave a small smile. “Hey, Barry.” She said as her eyes shifted to Barry entering the room. Iris followed her doppelgangers attention, looking at Barry.

“Hey, Iris. How are you and Barry?” Barry asked her doppelganger as he subtly edged towards Iris. She wondered if he was aware he was doing it. She took another sip of coffee, hiding her smile

“We’re good. Maybe not as good as you two, but good.” Earth 2 Iris replied, staring at Barry with a straight face, the only sign of any humour in the tone of her voice.

“Uh, right. Thanks. I…I’m just gonna grab some stuff from my room, if that’s okay.” Barry stuttered, looking extremely uncomfortable. Earth 2 Iris nodded, continuing to stare at Barry and not say a word. Then Barry looked at Iris and she smiled at him as encouragingly as she could. She watched him do something of a confused double-take as he was walking away.

Once she could no longer hear him on the stairs she turned to her doppelganger, lifting her eyebrows at her.

“What?” Earth 2 Iris asked innocently.

“He thinks you hate him.” Iris explained bluntly. Her doppelganger’s blank expression sobered immediately. Iris was grateful for the shift.

“Really? Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” Earth 2 Iris said, putting her cup down and turning to fully face Iris. “He’s just… Well at first he was endlessly frustrating. He’s so obviously in love with you yet wasn’t doing anything about it. Then you were in a similar position and the pair of you needed to get your act together. Now…he’s just so easy to unnerve. It’s kind of funny.” She continued apologetically, scrunching her nose up as she smiled. “But I’ll stop, I promise.” She raised a calming hand, gesturing humility.

“Thank you.” Iris told her. “It’s not been easy.” She added after a moment. She didn’t feel like her doppelganger was attacking, but she did have a desire to defend Barry, their situation. It may have taken Barry a long time to tell her how he felt, but he had his reasons for that, and he did tell her. He did take that risk. And she hadn’t reacted the best way. She hadn’t exactly made it easier. She'd taken even longer to realise how she felt. And even through that, they’d kept their friendship. She was proud of that, it meant something to her, something worth defending.

“I know. I didn’t mean to imply it was.” Earth 2 Iris said gently, thankfully not defensive of Iris’ own defence. “It’s just…you should be together.” She added with a small shrug. “But you weren’t.” she concluded.

“That simple, huh?” Iris said quietly with a thoughtful smile. It seemed a common opinion about her and Barry. She thought it might even be a way Barry saw some of their relationship. She supposed she did too, just not in the same way before now. But Barry – having that relationship with him was something so important to her. It was crucial. She needed him, she needed them to be okay. Without him, without their relationship, friendship and everything it had been, being strong – she couldn’t be okay without him. That was something simple that she'd always known.

“In a way.” Earth 2 Iris confirmed as she leaned back against the counter. “I don’t mean to judge you. I know things have been different in our lives. I know Barry – both of you – have gone through things that hurt you, and left a mark, and that made it harder to take that step. It was just frustrating to watch you miss out on being more, because I know how good it can be.” Her doppelganger explained.

“Literally.” Iris commented, her doppelganger giving her a small smile in return. “Well, I appreciate the push.” Iris said, clearing her throat.

“More like a nudge.” Earth 2 Iris defended.

“More like a giant, deliberate shove.” Iris argued, a wide smile on her face. Both of them laughed.

“Listen, anything that my…very subtle interference may have brought up," Earth 2 Iris joked before her face turned serious again. "You should remember that regardless of how long it took, the relationship you have…you both build it up. It may have taken a while to finally get there fully, but in some ways, you’ve been there the whole time. That’s kind of the point. And I know that – I don’t mean to diminish the relationship you had. It clearly means a lot, together or not.” Earth 2 Iris comforted, voicing some of Iris’ own thinking.

“It does.” Iris said with a small smile. Earth 2 Iris picked up her cup again and held it out in front of Iris. Iris chuckled, clinking her own cup with her doppelgangers in a cheers. “So what are you guys doing today? Do you want us to start looking for places for you? There’s some close towns that are pretty great. Far away enough that there shouldn’t be any people confusing us all but close enough that we can visit.” Iris suggested. Earth 2 Iris lowered her cup again, placing it on the counter next to her. She gripped her hands on the countertop at her sides.

“Actually we’re going to go to STAR Labs today, talk to Dr. Wells.” Earth 2 Iris informed with a small nod as she looked straight in front of her. There was some caution in her voice that caught Iris’ attention. She watched her doppelganger, trying to gauge her thinking.

“You…you’re going to try to go home?” Iris guessed, somewhat shocked, though maybe she shouldn’t be. Barry had heard her discomfort being here, away from her own Earth.

“Hopefully. We have to figure out how to defeat Zoom, I realise that. We can’t risk unleashing him on this world too. But…I’d like to get back as soon as possible.” Earth 2 Iris replied, turning to face Iris again.

“You don’t have to. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you -“ Iris tried to say.

“I need to bury my father.” Earth 2 Iris cut in, making Iris stop and look at her doppelganger. “Sorry.” She added, on behalf of her bluntness.

“God, no, what are you apologising for? You’re the one that…” Iris trailed off, lowering her eyes as she wet her lips. She couldn’t say it, couldn’t imagine losing her dad. “I understand why you need to go home.” She said, accepting where Earth 2 Iris was coming from. “Let me know if you need any help. I don’t know what I can do but…even helping convince Dr. Wells – just let me know. You should take Barry with you. He’ll fight your corner.” Iris advised, knowing that Dr. Wells would put up an objection against opening any new breach back to Earth 2, and knowing that Barry would always fight for what was right, and defeating Zoom, helping the people of Earth 2 and letting their doppelgangers go home was the right thing.

“Thanks, we’ll ask him.” Earth 2 Iris said with a small smile that Iris returned.


	28. Barry POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is especially for everyone who has commented on this since my last update. I promise I read every request for an update and I'm amazed there's still interest.
> 
> I'm so sorry it took so long.

Barry knew Iris had said her doppelganger's issue was about seeing them not being together, but he was convinced there was something else going on there. Either she did hate him, or she was purposely winding him up – and maybe because she hated him. He was still frowning in confusion over the whole thing when he made his way to his bedroom where his own doppelganger was looking just as distressed.  
  


“Hey.” He greeted Earth 2 Barry.

“Oh, hi, Barry.” Earth 2 Barry replied, turning around from his spot in front of the mirror.

“Everything alright?” Barry asked as he entered the room.

“Yes, perfectly fine. It’s just…the style of this Earth! I haven’t seen a second bow-tie since we got here. Not one! I miss my shoes, Barry!” His doppelganger whined, his face displaying loss. Barry pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh.

“Is that why you want to talk to Dr. Wells? So you can go home for your shoes?” Barry joked with a laugh, but Earth 2 Barry looked away, deliberately avoiding eye contact. “You’re not, are you?”

“Not for my shoes.” Earth 2 Barry clarified seriously. The doppelganger took a moment before he continued. “My wife is a Detective, a brilliant one. It’s what – who – she is,” he praised, meeting Barry’s eyes again, trying to make the point for Barry to understand. Barry nodded, remembering overhearing them talk about it. He did understand. “Can you not be The Flash?” Earth 2 Barry added to the reasoning but quickly looked regretful. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful.”

“You don’t,” Barry reassured with a shake of his head. His doppelganger’s words made him think of a night with Iris on Jitters rooftop, where he wanted to keep her safe, but she needed to be who she was, following the story, brave, and she made the same point about him being The Flash. He sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you both here.”

“No, it was the right thing,” Earth 2 Barry with a nod, his eyebrows pulling down in seriousness. “And we are grateful. Zoom could have tracked us down and killed us that day. It wouldn’t have taken much if he really wanted to. It was right to regroup,” he nodded again, clearly trying to back Barry’s decision. “But we never told our friends and family,” he continued in a softer tone. “They have no idea where we are. And…we never got to have a funeral for Joseph.” He said solemnly. He looked down at the carpet, pushing his glasses up his nose as they slipped. Barry let out a sigh and dropped down on the edge of the bed. Oh god, how could he have missed that? And Earth 2 Barry’s mom and dad! They must be so worried. What had he done? He’d handled so much of Earth 2 the wrong way. Barry brought his elbows to his knees and leaned forward.

“God, I’m so sorry.” Barry said through his hands as he rubbed at his eyes.

“Barry, I’m not faulting you. You may have saved our lives. And it has been utterly fascinating being here,” Earth 2 Barry said, sounding excited. “And we realise we may be here for some time still, we know we can’t just be go home immediately. We’ll be responsible about it. But the aim must be for us to go home. We don’t belong here. This is your world – yours and your Iris’.” He said pointedly, his tone loaded.

“You know,” Barry stated as he let his hands fall away from his face and looked at his doppelganger. “You figured it out.”

“I hypothesised; my wife knew.” Earth 2 Barry said with a small smile.

“How?” Barry asked. Their doppelgangers hadn’t seen them together since he and Iris even talked about it.

“You were nervous yesterday. You’ve been exceptionally confident since I’ve met you. Competent. I assumed if there was anything that could still make you nervous, it would be Iris West,” Earth 2 Barry explained, his smile widening. “I’ve been there. She still gives me butterflies.”

“Yeah, I guess you know how it feels.” Barry smiled back, exhaling a short laugh. He still couldn’t believe it was actually happening. He’d waited for so long, it was all he’d wanted. His doppelganger nodded. It was weird to think there was someone who could truly understand just how much he loved Iris West.

“How long have you felt that way about her?” Earth 2 Barry asked. Barry realised their doppelgangers were probably just as curious about their story as he and Iris had been of theirs.

“Always,” Barry said easily. “I know that’s probably a stupid thing to say but…it’s true,” he shrugged. “I don’t remember not feeling like she was just the most amazing thing in the world and that I was most happy by her side.” He added. It was as sure as that. Most of his life she’d been there, making everything better. Even when he didn’t understand how anything could be okay again, she was there helping him to keep going, making things easier. “How long have you been together?” He asked.

“We were married 5 years this spring.” Earth 2 Barry replied with such obvious pride.

“Wow, congratulations.” Barry smiled as he looked up at his doppelganger.

“I’m sure you’ll get your own 5 years, and more.” Earth 2 Barry said. Barry thought about it, about them being married. 5 year anniversary. 10 year anniversary. He remembered Earth 2 Barry and Iris’ wedding pictures in their home. He wanted that. He wanted a wedding picture next to the picture of them he already kept on his desk. They’d only had one date but he couldn’t wait to spend his life with her. Iris West Allen. That future he was worried the possibility of was lost - they were getting it, even after everything. He swallowed, trying to control the grin he could feel.

“Thank you again, for helping me get back here.” Barry sincerely said as he got up from the bed and stood next to his doppelganger.

“Oh, you don’t have to…” Earth 2 Barry trailed off uncomfortably as he took a step back. He lowered and shook his head, rejecting the praise.

“I know you get what it means, to be back, to have that chance with Iris,” Barry said, meeting Earth 2 Barry’s eyes as the doppelganger lifted his head at the words. “You helped me get home to her. So thank you,” He repeated. Earth 2 Barry nodded and the two shared a small smile as Barry promised himself he’d help get them home too. “Oh hey,” he added as he turned to the wardrobe to get what he can upstairs for. “Joe wants to have dinner tonight,” he informed his doppelganger. “All of us, Cisco and Caitlin too. I think Dr. Wells and Jessie as well. Well, we’ll invite them. See what Dr. Wells wants to do.” He gave a shrug.

“Looking forward to it.” Earth 2 Barry said with a polite nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody wants to get in touch with me, or bug me for an update, feel free.
> 
> <https://secondfromtheright.tumblr.com/>


	29. Iris POV

“So there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” Iris said to her brother as they both took their seats at a table in Jitters. She was taking a long lunch break to speak to him about her and Barry, not wanting him to find out from anyone else. As a bonus, the longer she as away from the paper today, the more she could avoid Scott and having to deal with him apparently liking her.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Wally asked, leaning back.

“Well, Barry and I…” Iris stared at her coffee as she ran her thumb along her mug, keeping her hands occupied. She flicked her eyes up to Wally. He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting for her.

“We’re…well we’re a we,” she said awkwardly. Why was this so difficult? “Barry and I.”

“I don’t…” Wally trailed off with a frown, looking confused.

“We’re together,” Iris finally clarified, loudly. “Now.” She added, back to awkward as she looked around at those who turned at her voice.

“Oh!” Wally exclaimed with wide eyes. “Uh, alright. But…” he trailed off, his frown back in place.

“But what?” She asked hurriedly. She cupped her coffee mug.

“Aren’t you guys..?” he looked away from her as he trailed off. Iris kept her eyes on him. “I mean,” Wally shifted in his seat before leaning forward, closing them off from everybody else in Jitters. “He’s the son/brother I’m supposed to be competing with.” Wally said quietly, as if it was a secret.

“Wally,” Iris said with a gentle sigh as she let go of her mug. “First of all, you’re not supposed to be competing with anyone. There isn’t a competition.” She assured him, feeling the role of older sister. It was a new role for her, but she felt really comfortable with it. “Second, Barry’s my best friend. Well, now he’s more officially, but I mean…” she shook her head, trying to stop her rambling. She took a breath. Takes a breath. “I don’t have the same relationship with you as I do with Barry.”

“Yeah, because he’s had years around you guys that I didn’t.” Wally said with a shrug and what sounded resentment. Iris looked at him, trying to decide the best way to navigate this. She knew Wally and Barry hadn’t exactly hit it off and there was some things to work out, but it all seemed so unnecessary. The two of them weren’t competing for a place in her life in any way. He needed to realise that too.

“Think about me and Barry. About how we are together,” she said, pausing to make a point and hoping he would actually think about it. “Do you want that kind of relationship with me?” She added bluntly, watching his frown deepen and he blinked a few times.

“Oh,” he finally said as he stared at something behind her. “Yeah, I get it now. Huh. I never…” he looked back to her. “You’ve called me ‘bro’ a few times.”

“Well, yeah, you’re my brother.” She said obviously.

“No, I mean, you’ve called me that but I’ve never heard you call Barry that before. I guess I didn’t realise.” He said slowly, looking blankly at the space of the table. Iris thought it was funny it was the same thing her doppelganger brought up when she’d asked her about her feelings for Barry, that she’d always wanted a brother and only got that want when Wally turned up at the door, showing that Barry had never filled that role.

“I know it’s what people think. Automatically think,” she said with a roll of her eyes. She’d dealt with it for most of her life. As soon as people learned they had grown up in the same house, they dismissed their dynamic and assumed. She’d never introduced Barry as ‘her brother’. Ever, but people made their own assumptions because it was a relationship they weren’t used to. “But it’s just never been how I’ve seen him. He was always my best friend. He was before he moved in with us and he still was afterwards,” she shrugged. “It felt like an insult when people got us wrong. Like they were forgetting Barry’s parents or something. And I just thought…I thought that’s what best friends were. Your other half.” She gave a small smile as she grabbed her mug again. “I mean, I knew that not everyone had that but… I don’t know.” Iris took a sip of her drink.

“Does dad know?” Wally asked, making her snort. She managed to swallow her mouthful before choking on it.

“Uh, yes, he does,” She paused as she put her coffee back on the table, trying to decide how much to say. She didn’t want to share Barry’s business, but she was telling Wally now so he didn’t find out later and think he was being left out. Everybody else in their lives already knew so it made sense for him to too. “He’s always known.”

“Always?” Wally quoted with another frown.

“I guess while I didn’t realise how I felt about Barry, Barry always knew how he felt about me. And dad knew how Barry felt. Like, the whole time.” She said taking another drink.

“Wow, really? That’s kind of cold.” Wally stated as he drank his own coffee.

“Yep,” Iris agreed. “That was a bit of an issue for me when I found out. I get that it was for Barry to tell me, not dad, but…I don’t know. I still wonder how different things would have been if I’d known. I was…with someone, when Barry finally told me,” she explained. “It was…serious. And I wasn’t ready to face how I felt about Barry.”

“Eddie, right? He was dad’s partner?” Wally asked. “Dad told me.” He explained when Iris looked at him.

“Oh that he tells you.” She joked with a shake of her head. “It was just more complicated than maybe it had to be.” She said sadly. She thought about Earth 2, where all three of their doppelgangers were happy. Where it wasn’t as complicated. Where Earth 2 Barry and Iris only ever belonged to each other. But that Earth lacked an Eobard Thawne, so that Earth’s Eddie and Nora Allen were alive. Iris wished she could tell Wally everything, that he could meet Earth 2 Barry and Iris. She knew what it felt like to be the last to know, to be lied to. She hoped Barry decided to tell him everything soon. Maybe it would help things between them. On the other side of it all, no Wally in Earth 2. Well, not that they knew about yet. She hoped Earth 2 Barry and Iris looked for their Wally when they got home. Maybe it could help the pain of losing their Joe, to gain a brother. 

“I guess if you guys are…together, now,” he said carefully, like the concept was still kind of weird to him. “It worked out in the end.” He added, taking a large gulp of his drink.

“Thanks, Wally.” She said sincerely after a pause, tilting her head and looking at him across the table.

“What for?” he asked with confusion, swallowing his mouthful, his eyebrows lowering in a frown.

“It’s just nice to…to have someone on my side.” She tried to explain with a smile. The social group in her life was made up of Barry’s friends and colleagues. She felt like she’d found a place with them too, and she liked them, but they would always be Barry’s group first. They’d had experiences together without her.

“What are brothers for, I guess?” he said, unsure as he smiled back but his eyes flitted away her away and again before he finally shifted in his head and looked down at his mug. She’d take it, and hoped more times like this would give him the confidence to continue to build their relationship, to find his place with them.

“Do you want to…meet me and Barry for lunch or something this week?” she offered.

“Uh, I think I’ll raincheck on that one for now. Don’t really wanna be the third wheel.” He said with a raise of his eyebrows, reminding Iris that she was in the first days of a new relationship, that she and Barry had made out in public only the night before.

“Understood,” she said with a smile she couldn’t keep back. “But you two should do something soon. I think you’d really get along.”

“Maybe.” He hummed.

“What about meeting his dad?” she suggested, thinking about what Barry had told her of his plans when they’d left the house this morning. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to be visiting soon. We could…do a full family dinner? Henry’s great, you’ll like him.” She encouraged, wanting Wally to be a part of things in some way.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, okay,” he nodded with a frown as he thought it over. “Thanks. Actually there is this project I’m doing in class this semester that I was thinking of talking to you guys about.” He informed her shyly, gesturing casually with his hand.

“Yeah? What is it?” she asked.

“I want to wait till I get my first set of feedback first, but I’ll tell you about it soon.” He nodded, folding his arms comfortably on the table.

“Okay, sounds good.” She said, smiling at him. So much had changed so quickly. She hadn't felt right for a long time now, but just a few days had made her feel fully like herself again. Like she was doing exactly what she should be doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was always going to have some kind of conversation between Wally and Iris but I don't think I would have done a full chapter for it if he was still on the show. I've missed him this season.
> 
>  
> 
> <https://secondfromtheright.tumblr.com/>


End file.
